Across the Stars: A Senator's Tale of Love and War
by DMatukaitis
Summary: A fanfiction novel depicting the events from Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones through the eyes and point of view of Padme Amidala. Isolated in extreme and beautiful settings, the two star-crossed friends face the struggle between choosing right over wrong, duty over emotion, and love over war. I own nothing. I seek no profit. Rights go to whoever they belong to.
1. Part 1: Flight To Coruscant

**Part One: Coruscant**

* * *

_I was Queen then, _

_When my people were forced to suffer._

_I was Queen then,_

_When only I was their liberator._

_I was Queen then,_

_When I stopped my planet's oppression._

_I was Queen then,_

_I am Senator now._

**I**

* * *

Years have passed since my reign as Queen of Naboo ended. Ten years to be exact. And still, not a day goes by when I do not think of what had happened to my people and me those ten years ago.

I see their faces. Everyone—every night when I go to bed. Some nights I'll see Qui-Gon Jinn, the Jedi Master who gave his life at the expense of my people. Other nights, I'll see the faces of Viceroy Gunray, the Nemodian who caused my people so much suffering. How I wish I could have been there for his trials in the courts.

It does not matter where I sleep, when I sleep, or the amount of security that is protecting me while I sleep, I still dream of the events that have become nothing more than aged memories now.

I wonder if these dreams will ever go away. I wonder if I will ever dream about anything or anybody else.

The dreams that hurt the most are the ones that involve my parents. I fight with myself to hold back the tears whenever I think of what they had to endure. Their only concern was that I was safe. But in a palace full of guards, with six women who take my identity for such occasions, I am not the one whose safety was in question.

I felt such guilt during the invasion of Theed. I had to stand and watch from the safety of the palace as battalions of Federation droids marched their way into my streets. It killed me to think that I got away while others—like my parents—were stuck on the planet. Sent to camps. Sent to suffer. Sent to die.

During the invasion, I struggled to accept the fact that just because I was Queen and had a title, I was spared from harm. I was rescued from invasion. I was sent to the capitol.

I would have much preferred to stay on Naboo and suffer with my people as the governors did. They understood the despair. They understood the pain.

The guilt ate at me while I sat in the starship, wasted weeks on the desert planet, all to make a pathetic case before the Senate.

It was not right. It was not fair.

To this day I still hear myself during that session of Congress.

"I was not elected to watch my people suffer and die while you discuss this invasion in a Committee." I boomed out across a mixture of cheers and jeers from the representatives.

They did not know the horror of what the Trade Federation was doing to my people, my home, and my life. They did not see the tragedy as I have. They did not see their families being marched away to camps and forced into poverty by the Federation army. This was no longer a simple matter of a legal blockade. This was a takeover, an illegal invasion.

It took a lot for me to keep my composure as I stood there representing an oppressed people. I wanted so badly to scream out in rage at the Trade Federation representative who interrupted me, unable to accept his system's illegality and unlawful ways.

The decision for me to return to Naboo was easier than it was to leave my home in the first place. Senator Palpatine and the Jedi warned me that the Federation had every intention of destroying me, but I could not sit back any longer. I could not keep running, hiding, watching, and waiting for a salvation to happen on its own. I needed to be their salvation. I needed to be their Queen.

Looking back, the Federation invasion had a profound effect on our planet's history. It united two divided people, the Naboo civilians and the Gungans. We were no longer a people separated by land and sea. It is wonderful. It is inspiring.

I hope that I have inspired people. I hope that my reign as Queen will not be remembered as the period of invasion and poverty, but as the age of hope. I hope my reign and my efforts to save my people have brought us all closer together. I can feel it. I can see it. I want to believe it.

However, recently there has been such unrest throughout the Republic. We are becoming a divided people. So many Systems are leaving—or threating to leave—the Republic for unspecified reasons. These departures are no peaceful matters, either. There has been more bloodshed in the past few years over these systems giving intentions to leave the Republic than I've ever seen traveling around the Galaxy.

Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Republic, is an old friend. He served as my ambassador and Senator of Naboo during my terms as Queen. He knows me well. He knows how passionate I feel about diplomacy and keeping the Republic peaceful. However, as a leader, his grip on diplomacy is questionable, lately.

Amid the trend of Separatist departures from the Republic, the remaining Systems are becoming just as violent and divided within each other. A number of them want to push for the creation of an army the Republic can use for protection against these fallen systems, while the other Systems, Naboo included, firmly stand of the position that we do not need an army to settle these conflicts. We think diplomacy and negotiations can put a sufficient end to this dispute.

Eventually, it was decided that there would need to be a vote on the issue—something to decide whether we settle this by force or by negotiations. I've worked for years to end this Military Creation Act when it was first proposed in the Senate as a bill. I need to vote against it. The Republic needs to vote against it.

We come out of hyperspace and the glimmering capitol expands rapidly, taking over most of my view. It's funny how the twinkling, circular city patterns are always lit up and flickering with life. Even though I know it is daylight somewhere, it looks like perpetual nighttime over Coruscant from out here.

Our ships fly in sync. The two small, yellow Naboo Fights keeping close to the majestic chrome Cruiser as is slices through space and into the atmosphere.

It strikes me that there is not much traffic visibly entering or exiting the system as far as I can see. The ominous silence begins to worry me. I told Captain Typho that additional security would be unnecessary. I hope to not be proven wrong.

Soaring down into the atmosphere I think not only of being here, but also more importantly of the reason why I've returned. The Republic wants this army to fight our enemies. However, I firmly believe, deep down, that fighting is not the solution to this. The creation of an army will only invite the Separatists to open fire, creating bloodshed and war.

Once again, I'm the pacifist. I'm the Senator. I'm the savior. I'm the twinkle of hope for those who will not be able to defend themselves once the armies touch their home front.

I've been so nervous during this flight not only for the voting concerns, but also for the safety of my crew and myself to make it to the Capitol in one piece. Just because I saved a planet and its people, doesn't mean everyone idolizes me or make me immortal. In fact, the events that happened to Naboo ten years ago have probably created more enemies for me than I've ever had before.

Captain Typho thinks that for my protection I need these escort ships and that I should take advantage of every precaution necessary. I'm already using decoys. I'm already utilizing Naboo Fighters. I'm already in hiding.

I knew that choosing a side against the Military Creation Act would generate more enemies for me. Ever since the Federation's invasion of Naboo, I had to accept the fact that some would go to radical measure to make sure I did not speak out in the Senate. The issue of Military Creation was exactly that opportunity. Extreme measures were taken to make sure I traveled safely and got to my destinations with ease. However, now that it was actually time to vote on the issue and hundreds of Senators would be coming in and out of the Capitol, maybe Captain Typho was right. Maybe more guns were pointing at me now than ever before.

I notice my thoughts turn rather intense and dark when I delve into these parts of my mind. Flight and space does this to me; it makes me see troubling things as a whole, board picture. It makes me see the negative sides of my duty. My parents have no need to travel. They never see these depths of the galaxy. They never have to think these grim thoughts. Perhaps it has something to do with literally viewing the dark depths of space, or the view of an entire system as it grows and takes over my vision before my eyes. It really puts perspective on the dependency and fragility of life.

I still think about Master Qui-Gon. I think about my parents. I think about the Viceroy. Tonight, in my sleep, I'll see them all again as the Jedi try to protect me again, my parents endure suffering for me again, and the Viceroy try to kill me again.

The details of the major cities come into view as our entourage of Naboo ships soar closer to our misson, to the Chancellor, and into the cloudy abyss that waits for us.


	2. Part 1: Landing Pad

II

* * *

There is an unusual amount of clouds and fog enveloping the city skyscrapers. Our fleet cuts through the fog with the ease of a knife, but piloting your own Fighter isn't as easy as I thought it was going to be. Regardless of the fog, the view of these higher city districts is incredible. The breathtaking architecture renders me speechless. Coruscant is so unlike any other planet…so unlike my Naboo.

Because the entire planet is one large city, there is no end to the depth or height of it. Flying into the upper regions, we spend a few moments hovering over the tops of the tallest complexes. Although the fog makes us think otherwise, we're thousands—maybe even tens of thousands—of levels high at this point.

The luxury of these skyscrapers at this highest level is for people like me to enjoy. As condescending as that sounds, it is the truth. These penthouse and top-floor levels are reserved for delegates and political figures to reside in during their stay on the planet.

As far as the lower levels of the city go, you may as well be in an entirely new system. The bowels of Courscant—so I've heard—are filled with crime lords, gamblers, and the poor. I've never ventured down to these depths. I'd like it to stay that way.

Truthfully, Coruscant is a beautiful planet in its own way. The angular architecture and industrial environment really symbolize the concrete and steel-like strength our Republic's foundations and ideals are built upon.

In contrast, my home planet of Naboo is equally beautiful, though it is for other reasons. Naboo is completely organic. We have our fair share of cities, like Theed, but they are all built around the very green, swampy environment and landscape that Coruscant lacks.

Coruscant during the day is nothing but infinite shades of gray. Each building may glisten with its own shade of metallic chrome, but there is nothing very natural or beautiful about Corucant's monochromatic environment. Naboo's earthy and organic architecture is the epitome of beauty on the planet.

On the other hand, when Naboo turns to night, the planet looks black, like most worlds. Night on Coruscant is when the entire planet comes to life. Lights of all colors illuminate the planet when it turns dark. The nightlife booms in the lower levels and districts. While I do not see much of this part of Coruscant, I love admiring the night, city lights from my apartment balconies and windows.

"We're approaching the lading platform. Follow me." Captain Typho's voice calls on the intercom.

A wave of relief rushes through me. We've made it. Now that we're this close, I can relax. I can finally put myself at ease from all the tension I've been building up inside. I've made it. I'll be able to cast my vote.

Our entourage navigates its way through the fog and approaches our designated landing platform. The scene is so eerie. Chills spread through the flesh on my arms and take over my body. I literally cannot see a thing past the landing platform.

The Naboo Cruiser lands in the center of the large landing platform. Two fighters land smoothly on the leaf platforms to the left, and one lands on the right.

I remain seated, watching. Waiting. I see a team of people scurrying around the platform, making sure the cruiser is safely secured on the platform. They strap cords to the legs of the ship. The neon blue ignition lights of the cruiser turn black and I see the landing strip jostle. The crew will be coming out any minute now.

Captain Typho swings out of his fighter's cockpit with excitement. Watching him descend the ladder and turn to approach me, I see a grin spread across his face. He waves me on, and the glass shield of my own fighter's cockpit sides open. I make eye contact with Typho and he motions for me to join him on the platform. I can see the joy in his eyes and in his grin, which continues to grow.

I rise from my seat and begin to descend the ladder to the platform. R2-D2, my faithful astromech droid is also lowered from my fighter and rolls off with me to join Captain Typho on the side of the platform.

"We made it," he says to me with a mix of relief and disbelief.

I look at him through the small eyepiece of my helmet. I have nothing to say. Sure, we made it, but I'm not convinced until I've reached the Galactic Senate building and cast my vote.

"I guess I was wrong. There was no danger at all." Captain Typho adds.

The landing pad descends and I see the welcoming party march down. My decoy, Corde, leads the party down the landing ramp followed by some of my guards and the rest of my Senatorial party. We watch their regal arrival from across the platform.

Corde looks worried. I can see it in her face. She looks tense and nervous. I feel awful putting her in this position, but Captain Typho adamantly told me that this was her job. She knew what she was getting into. Still, I wish I could yell over to her in celebration that we made it. The trip was truly much easier than she probably knew.

I watch as her feet touch the bottom of the ramp. Before she could make her next step and touch the platform, however, everything goes wild. Huge bursts of orange and yellow flames devour the cruiser. I am blown off my feet and fall hard to the ground. Instinctively, I close my eyes. My ears begin to ring, but I can still hear the cries of terror.

_No, not now,_ I think in my head. I want to pretend I'm dreaming. I want to pretend I'll wake up safely in my apartment bedroom and see the entire crew and party made it safely. But no matter how hard I try to pretend, reality wins. This is not a dream. My ship was just attacked. My arrival just became a massacre.

Captain Typho was right. I was in danger. Someone does not want me here. This makes me angry. Clenching my fists, and gritting my teeth, I let out a cry and slam my fist hard on the ground of the platform. Even through the protection of my helmet I can still smell the burning metal, ash, and smoke.

I try to clear the image from my memory, the image of my party, my staff, and my decoy being swallowed by a fiery inferno. It's horrific. It's sickening.

_Corde! Is Corde alright? _She is the first one I think of. I need to make sure she is ok. She protected me; I must do whatever it takes to make sure she is protected just the same.

I'm still a little breathless and winded from the fall, but I manage to bring myself to my feet and dart over to the wreckage. The smoke begins to clear and I run to Corde, weaving in and out of pieces of flaming rubble.

I rip off my helmet when I find her body amid all the other crumpled bodies of people who tried so desperately to ensure I arrive here safely. They did not fail. In fact, they were more successful that I could have hoped. Too successful. Corde's impersonation of me was so beautifully successful, it was enough to convince someone that it truly was me walking down that ramp. Whoever the assassin, they were too convinced that they had shot me down.

"Corde…" I say breathlessly, bending down and picking her up in my arms.

She looks so weak. Her eyes open as I roll her over and she tries with all the life she has left in her to recognize me. Her hair is disheveled. Her face and clothes are blackened with burns and ashes. This could have been me. This should have been me.

"…I'm sorry. M'Lady. I'm so sorry…I'm not sure…I…I've failed you, Senator." Corde gasps weakly.

"No…" I say, holding back tears. I cannot say much more. Corde's eyes close and I can feel the life leave her body.

Her dying words were devoted to me. She thought she had failed. She was wrong. I wish I could tell her that she was wrong. I wish I could explain to her that she had done more for me than I could have asked. I wish I could tell her that she was too convincing—that any other decoy might not have done such a convincing job at being me.

I let her go and set her body down easy on the ground. We were safe here. This was not supposed to happen. Captian Typho was worried for our journey through space when there was nothing to hide around, no shelter to protect us, all the room in the galaxy for our assassin to strike. I hid in a Naboo Fighter for a reason. It would be useless to stand by my decoy. Standing next to the throne is just as risky as being in the throne. If the ship goes down, I go down with it. In a separate fighter, I had all the room in the galaxy to flee.

"M'Lady, you're still in danger here." Captain Typho says, standing right behind me, and keeping a cautious eye for a following attack.

I am reminded that I am standing out in the open. If the attacker were to strike again, I would surely be cut down. Still, this does not stop me from remaining by my faithful decoy's side.

I stand up and swallow hard. Tears fill my eyes as they watch Corde's body resting on the platform. I look around and see all the other casualties that I am responsible for. Two bodyguards lay nearby. Another handmaiden was caught in the explosion. The pilots never made it out. How many others never made it out?

"I shouldn't have come back." I say aloud to Captain Typho in a shaky, crying voice.

"This vote is very important," Captian Typho reminds me. "You did your duty, and Corde did hers. Now come."

His voice is urgent. I know he wants me to get to safety. He knows another attack is probable if we do not head indoors immediately.

I cannot move. I cannot take my eyes off of Corde's body. Her sacrifice ignites a fire inside of me. The fact that a dozen people have just lost their lives for the sake of my return to the Senate makes me want to give other Senators something to think about.

"Senator Amidala, _please!"_ Typho urges desperately.

He is right. I should seek shelter. I should seek protection. I should leave behind this horrible mark of terror. I have a job to do. I cannot let this get in the way. I will use this to inspire me. I will use this to sway others to my cause.

I take another look around to capture the scene. I don't know whether I want to forget this image or commit it to memory. I don't think I have a choice. I cannot un-see things like this, no matter how desperately I want to.

I turn and follow Captain Typho as he wraps a protective arm around me and guides me off to safety.

I can hear Artoo following behind us, his whistling and beeping registers only as an echo in my head.

In my head a speech is forming. I am preparing what I am about to address to the senate in mere hours. I am prepared to make an impression. I am prepared to make my voice heard. The next attack Coruscant sees will be from me. That is not a threat. It is a promise. A promise I have made to Corde, to my fallen crew, and to myself, in hopes of avenging their sudden, unnecessary deaths.


	3. Part 1: Padme Addresses the Senate

III

* * *

Less than an hour goes by and I find that I am already dressed in a beautifully dark and dramatic gown. My handmaiden, Dorme, has done my hair in an intense up-do in record time.

I arrive at the Senate Chamber later than I had hoped for, however. My crew and I rush through the halls towards our designated platform. Breaking out into a brisk, speedy walk, I can hear bits and pieces of the Congressional Session as it begins.

"Order! We shall have order! The motion for the Republic to commission an army takes precedent, and that is what we will vote on at this time." Mas Amedda, aid to Chancellor Palpatine opens the session, then backs down making room for the Supreme Chancellor to take center stage.

"My esteemed colleagues, excuse me," he begins, "I have just received very tragic and disturbing news. Senator Amidala of the Naboo System has been assassinated but an hour ago."

I can hear bits and pieces of this as we trudge through the halls. A mixture of shock and surprise sends a wave of silence throughout the vast arena. Who gave them this information? Who knows what had happened already? Who assumed I died in the attack?

"This grievous blow is especially personal to me. Before I became Chancellor, I served under Amidala when she was Queen. She was a great leader who fought for justice, not only here in this honorable assembly, but also on her home planet."

I run faster than I should be. I am desperate to reach our designated platform.

I hear the Chancellor continue, "She was so loved she could have been elected Queen for life. She believed in public service, and she fervently believed in democracy. Her death is a great loss to us all. We will mourn her as a relentless champion of freedom…and also as a dear friend."

Through the uproar and chaos, I hear a second voice give their opinion on the matter of my apparent death.

"How many more Senators will die before this civil strife ends!" I hear the notable voice of Ask Aak call. "We must confront these rebels now, and we need an army to do it!"

"Why weren't the Jedi able to stop the assassination? Are we no longer safe under their protection?" I hear the voice of Ambassador Darnsana shout before the Senate. I hope the question is rhetorical. The Jedi have done enough for us. I beg they will not be thrown into this mess.

Senator Orn Free Taa's booming voice comes next. I hear his pleas for increased security. Timing could not be better. As he is known for adamant support of the Military Creation Act, I can use this to present myself and make my address.

Our platform entrance is in sight. We hurry in, breathlessly and Captain Typho and Dorme take their seats.

"Take a seat, M'Lady." Typho whispers to me.

I do not listen. I keep my back to him, standing firmly at the front of the platform. Why should I take a seat when I'm moments away from speaking to my fellow Senators?

"…needs more security now! Before it comes to war." I catch only the last of Orn Free Taa's words as his deep voice booms throughout the Chamber.

I roll my eyes. It was such a typical response from someone so single-minded and worrisome of his own accord. He was unlike any other Twi'leck I've ever seen.

For a race known for their beautiful body shapes, and sensual, seductive mannerisms, Senator Taa was the complete opposite in every way. I've met plenty of Twi'lecks to confirm that he was nothing like the ordinary, common being of their race. He was fat, blubbery, and selfish. There was nothing sensual about his voluminous, cylindrical body shape. His cranial tentacles hung with mass to his sides rather than on his posterior side with grace and elegance like every other Twi'leck. The number of necks he had seemed to change every time I saw him, depending on how his crew dressed him.

I feel fortunate that I have a crew who wants me to look dramatic and beautiful when necessary for my job. Regardless of Senator Taa being male, his crew dresses him in the most unflattering robes imaginable. There is no way to make him look less flattering in the robes in which his crew dons him with.

Amid my hateful thoughts on him, I am startled when I hear Chancellor Palpatine address Senator Taa's statements. Chancellor Palpatine and I go back far too long for me to even recount. I feel at ease when I see him standing there as Head of the Senate—Head of the Republic. I know he will stand with me on the issue of Military Creation. I know he will allow me to have my moment.

"Must I remind the Senator from Malastare that negotiations with the Separatists are continuing? Peace is our objective here. Not war." Palpatine says firmly with an emotionless countenance.

I am always baffled at his ability to tolerate and be unaffected by the arguing and shouting of the thousands of senators around him. Even now as he makes a statement that causes more reactionary arguing, he and his advisors stand in the center of the arena, completely neutral and phased by neither the support nor the opposition that the senators are passionately yelling out to them, refusing Mas Amedda's commands to quiet down.

It is now or never. This is my time.

"My noble colleagues, I concur with the Supreme Chancellor. At all costs, we do not want war!" I declare, flicking the controls on my platform's control panel, setting the pod in motion. It glides down, hundreds of feet to meet eye level with the Chancellor's podium and the other hovering platforms.

I look into the eyes of my ally, the Chancellor, and also into the eyes of Aak, Taa, and Darsana, all supporters of the Military Creation Act. I want to smile to myself for my most opportune timing with what I am about to proclaim to my colleagues.

Silence spreads like a virus throughout the Senate once again. After a moment passes, and it becomes evident that it is in fact, me, Senator Amidala, making this speech. There is an outburst of cheering and applause at my presence in the arena, even small, obligatory applauses come from those who seemed not as happy to see that I, in fact, did not perish in the attack.

"It is with great surprise and joy the chair recognizes the Senator from Naboo, Padme Amidala." The Chancellor said with a controlled, but relieved smile. I can hear that is genuinely very happy to see me alive.

Thoughts swim through my head as I prepare for what I am about to say. I do not know who to be mat at, who to place blame upon, and whom to deem the villain in this mess.

"Less than an hour ago, an assassination attempt was made against my life. One of my bodyguards and six others were ruthlessly and senselessly murdered." I begin, knowing I could use this sick massacre to my advantage in the argument against the bill.

I feel my voice begin to shake with emotion as I think once again of Corde and my staff. However, I continue to press on. I must give them something to think about. I must give them what they deserve.

"I was the target. But more importantly, the security measure before you was the target." I boom with emotion and passion to the hall.

There is silence. It is eerie. I wonder if I am being too harsh, too aggressive.

I continue, "I have led the opposition to building this army. But there is someone in this body who will clearly stop at nothing to assure its passage, even if it means cutting down a few delegated and political officials."

Muttering and conversation between individual platforms start to spread throughout the chamber. I hear many of the Senators starting to boo and yell at me. Perhaps they think I am speaking directly to them? But, perhaps that's exactly what I want.

"I warn you, if you vote to create this army, war will follow. I have experienced the misery of war first hand; I do not wish to do it again." I try to say over the rising volume of jeers directed at me.

Looking around the chamber, I see particular senators throwing their fists in the air in opposition. They're yelling, gesturing, and trying to force me to quiet down. This only empowers me more.

I see a smug look of victory on Orn Free Taa's face. This sets me over the edge. Enough is enough. I will not let him have his victory after I've already suffered enough today. I'm through trying to play nice. I've kept a calm and reserved face thus far with all the skill and practice I have acquired. Inside, I want to scream looking around the room and seeing how many of my fellow colleagues who have stood by my side for years, now booing at my plea, supporting this bill I so strongly oppose. They are throwing direct blows at me with no sympathy. Maybe a direct blow to them is what they need.

"Wake up, Senators! You must wake up!" I scream trying to overpower their boos and jeers. "If you offer the Separatists violence, they can only show violence in return. Many will lose their lives. All will lose their freedom. This decision could very well destroy the very foundation of our great Republic."

The senate hall gets surprisingly quiet. They begin to listen to me once more.

"I pray you do not let fear push you into disaster. Vote down this security measure, which is nothing less than a declaration of war." I plea. I have their attention. The chamber is motionless. I can taste the victory now.

"Does anyone here want that? I cannot believe they do." I finish, feeling victorious. Regardless, I've done everything I wanted. I was passionate. I was blunt. I was direct.

To my misery, an undercurrent of booing and groaning rises once more. There is nothing that I can say or do anymore that will get through the thick heads of these delegates. They are blinded, whether by hatred of me, or fear of my attacker.

I see Orn Free Taa move his pod next to mine. He addressed the Chancellor, "My motion to defer the vote must be dealt with first. That is the rule of law."

I send a glare his way and hope he sees. When I turn to Palpatine, he sends me a sympathetic look. I know he understands my position. I know he wants the Senate to agree with me. I know _he_ listened to me. He knows, as well as I do, that there is nothing more to be done right now.

"Due to the lateness of the hour, and the seriousness of this motion, we will take up these matters tomorrow. Until then, the Senate stands adjourned." He declares.

My platform moves back to its docking place and I feel as if every Senator in the hall, myself included, can see the defeat written across my face. I can't believe he just dismissed my case like that. Did he do it to spare me more boos and jeers? Does he really think my cause is that far lost? That there is no way we can win this vote?

The small control panel viewscreen lights up and pings with a message. I look down to read it, realizing that it may look to nearby platforms as though I am looking down, crying at my defeat.

The message is a request from Chancellor Palpatine. He requests a private meeting in his office. I don't know what to make of this. I want answers. I leave the platform and head for the door before session even officially ends.


	4. Part 1: Audience with the Chancellor

IV

* * *

I took Chancellor Palpatine up on his offer for a private meeting. In fact, we all did. I should have expected this to not be a completely private, one-on-one meeting, but I did not expect the entire Loyalist Committee to be on their way to his office with me.

Dorme did another fantastic job in choosing my wardrobe for this meeting. I'm dressed in something much less dramatic. It is still a very elegant and regal gown, but rather than be wearing a shrouding garb in shades of black, it is filled with varying blues and compliments my olive skin well. My hair is done in an up-do that is contained in a rather tribal, primitive cage-like structure made of gold to match my golden choker.

There's no denying that I look beautiful. Dorme has made me look that way. She is an expert in what she does. I should be able to convince a few delegates of my position on the vote, if not by my logic and facts, then surely by the amount of cleavage that this low-cut bodice of the gown reveals.

I march through the halls of the Republic Executive Building with fury and force. Leading the group, I walk a comfortable three to four strides ahead of everyone else. I also do this to intentionally keep a notable distance between Orn Free Taa and me.

I cannot take the irritated grimace off my face to save my life—which is a statement that should not be joked about, especially after the events that have happened earlier today.

When we finally reach the lobby of the Chancellor's office, I can hear Taa panting and trying to catch his breath. I roll my eyes irrationally at his inability to keep up with us. I know it is beside the point, but any outlet to jab at him will do right now.

Mas Amedda waits outside the door for us.

"The Jedi are in with the Chancellor now. One moment please." He says stoically.

I say nothing in reply. The rest of the Committee seems to take my angry silence as a hint, and so they too refrain from giving any sort of vocal reply to him.

Bail Organa, one of my close friends in the senate approaches me. He has always been a father figure to me, even though there is not that much of an age difference between us. He knows how to suppress my attitude and make sure I stay professional, not letting my temper get the best of me.

He gently wraps a large hand around my upper arm.

"Relax. Don't attack him with questions or statements. I know you want answers, but you can't force anything out of him or any of these people for that matter. You know that." He says, referring to the stubborn, thick heads of Orn Free Taa and the Senators from Malastare.

He is right. I do know it. It does not change the situation, however. I still want to voice my opinion. I still want to pound my fist on a table when someone does not see eye-to-eye with me.

"Look at me," Bail adds, and I'm left with no choice but to look into his dark, comforting eyes, "You're smarter than they are. You're more dedicated than they are. You're the only Senator I know who would insist on returning to work hours after someone just tried to kill them."

Bails words are comforting. Too comforting. I begin to feel the warm tears behind my eyes. I bite my lip and give a sad, half-smile, forcing the tears to remain hidden, where no one can see them.

The doors to the Chancellors Office slide open silently and I can hear the voices of a few familiar Jedi inside.

I briskly enter the room, leading the group of delegates, just as I had been through the halls of the building thus far. I walk through the open room and off to greet Master Yoda. I am careful not to look Chancellor Palpatine in the eye straight away.

"Senator Amidala, your tragedy on the landing platform, terrible." The small, green Jedi says to me.

I appreciate his compassion. Once more I feel the tears try harder and harder to fight their way out. I simply nod in appreciation to him, for some reason I am unable to speak.

"With you, the Force is strong, young Senator. Seeing you alive brings warm feeling to my heart." He adds genuinely.

I am touched. I wish I could reply with something just as thoughtful and kind, but I can only give a simple, inaudible "thank you".

"Do you have any idea who was behind the attack?" are the first, real words to come out of my mouth. I feel inconsiderate, but I cannot let emotions get in the way of my priorities and concerns.

Master Windu steps over to Yoda and me. He looks at me softly and replies, "Our intelligence point to disgruntled spice miners on the moons of Naboo."

I don't want to bring it up, but no one has mentioned him thus far as a person of speculation.

"I don't wish to disagree with you, Master Windu, but I think that Count Dooku is behind it." I say adamantly.

I should have prepared myself for the wave of shock and controversy that sweeps over everyone in the room when I mention his name. Little is known of Dooku's actions or his whereabouts since he left the Jedi Order years ago, but something about his involvement with the Separatists fits together too perfectly to not have something to do with the assassination attempt on my life.

"He is a political idealist, not a murderer." Ki-Adi-Mundi replies, walking towards me.

"You know, M'Lady, Count Dooku was once a Jedi. He couldn't assassinate anyone. It's not in his character." Master Windu says to me with a complex look of concern as the people around the room continue to mutter to themselves and each other.

I make eye contact with Bail and his eyes tell me to hear the Jedi out before I make more accusations.

"In dark times, nothing is what it appears to be," Yoda interjects. Something about the sly smile he gives me tells me he did it for my own good, before I said anything too impulsive.

"But for certain, Senator: in grave danger you are." He adds.

I see Chancellor Palpatine rise from the armchair behind his immense desk. He slowly walks over to the window that overlooks the city. There is a look of grim contemplation on his face. He has yet to make eye contact with me.

"Master Jedi, may I suggest the Senator be placed under the protection of your graces?" He says rather hopefully.

Before anyone could reply, it is Bail Organa who speaks out about this first.

"Do you really think that's a wise decision under these stressful times?" He asks, glancing over to me.

I agree with him completely. It's not that I do not appreciate the concern and intention the Chancellor has for me, I just think no one is going about it in the proper ways. Added security is not what I need right now.

"Chancellor if I may comment I do not believe the situation—"

"—the situation is that serious?" our sentences overlap and Palpatine finishes for me. It is the first time he looks at me. "No, but I do, Senator."

"Chancellor, please! I do not want any more guards! Increased protection is not the answer!" I say, sounding rather offended. All of these people think they know what is best for me, but they won't listen to what I want for myself.

"I realize all too well that additional security might be disruptive for you, but perhaps if it was someone you were familiar with…an old friend like, Master Kenobi?" He said brightly, as if he did not hear my last outburst.

He looks at Master Windu, expecting a status report on Kenobi's availably.

"That's possible," Mace replies, looking off contemplatively. "He's just returned from a border dispute on Ansion."

"You must remember him, M'Lady. He watched over you during the blockade conflict." Palpatine says, looking back at me.

Of course I remember Obi-Wan Kenobi. He is considerably an old friend of mine. The last time I saw him was, indeed, ten years ago. He was an apprentice under Master Qui-Gon then. Now I'm sure he was a much wiser, more sophisticated man in regards to his duty to the Republic.

The offer is thoughtful, but still, not needed.

"This is not necessary, Chancellor!" I insist.

"Oh, do it for me, M'Lady, please. I will rest easier. We had a big scare today. The thought of losing you…is unbearable." He said dramatically.

At this point, I realize I must accept defeat. No matter how much I can continue arguing, I won't win against all of these people who want me to be safe. There is something cruelly ironic about this situation.

"I will have Obi-Wan report to you immediately, M'Lady." Mace says somewhat darkly to me. It feels as though he also disagrees with what the Chancellor is doing for me.

"Thank you, Master Windu," I reply gratefully.

I can't help but feel as if I am being an intrusive burden on the Jedi Order, as if assigning Obi-Wan to protect me is distracting them from the real task at hand. Am I?

He and Ki-Adi-Mundi make way for the doors. The rest of the Loyalist Committee scatters about for the meeting. I remain still. I cannot move, think, or speak in this moment. I bite my lip in contemplation and aggravation.

"Too little about yourself you worry, Senator, and too much about politics." Yoda says privately to me with sincerity before following his fellow Jedi Masters to the door.

I can do nothing but look at him with a thankful look. I really do appreciate when people console me, though I may not show it.

"Be mindful of your danger, Padme. Accept our help." Yoda says with a smile.

I am left speechless. I understand that everyone is just trying to keep me safe and alive. Maybe this is something I should just accept. I've spent too much of the day being angry, acting on impulse, and being dramatic. I'm sick of playing dramatic diplomat. I'm sick of wasting my passion by not thinking and acting with my emotions. I'm sick of not having anyone to passionately waste my emotions on.


	5. Part 1: Colleagues Reunited

V

* * *

I stand on the balcony of my apartment with Captain Typho. Neither of us says anything. Neither of us has to. He knows what I'm thinking. I desperately want to know who, so badly, wants me dead.

The sun is well setting on this side of the city planet now. All of the buildings have a golden cast to them. The gray metal and chrome surfaces glisten with the reflection of the sun, creating tens of thousands of shimmering structures. It is beautiful. It is peaceful.

The fog from this morning during our landing has long since subsided. Few clouds remain. Those that remain are golden and pink now. They reflect the warm light of the sun just like the buildings.

Coruscant looks so beautiful right now. It looks so safe. How could anyone have been killed here earlier this same day? How could anyone feel the urge to kill innocent people and prevent them from seeing this beautiful side of angular, metal Coruscant?

I look over the edge of the balcony. Coruscant goes down million of miles from here. It must be a whole, other world on those lower levels. I have a Jedi protector after one assassination attempt. Down there, people probably deal with blasters and detonators being pointed at them everywhere they go. Is it a sign of my lack of courage? Am I too apt for needing protection of sorts? Have I resorted to simply being a delegate who needs someone to keep her safe at all times? Am I nothing but a damsel in distress?

I wish I could sit out here forever. I wish I could look at this sunset forever. It is the best thing for me right now. Maybe my parents were right. Maybe I do need a break from politics. Maybe I should be more like Sola and settle down, start a family, and retire from the political scene. This sunset makes me feel relaxed. It is what will allow me to sleep tonight.

I hear Jar Jar noisily rise from a seat in the middle of the room and walk away, presumably to the door. I don't even bother to go with him. I don't even bother to look away from this sunset.

"Senator Padme! Messa palos here! Lookey lookey, Senator! Deesa Jedi arriven!" He calls to me, throwing his arms up in the air.

I turn my eyes away from the sunset and took to Jar Jars direction. As my eyes adjust from the warm, intense sunset to the cool, cobalt blue theme of my apartment, I see two figures in Jedi robes standing beside the Gungan. Dark spots in my vision from the sun prevent me from recognizing either of their faces immediately.

"It is a great pleasure to see you again, M'Lady." Obi-Wan's voice is recognizable to me even though it's been ten years since I've heard it last.

He takes a step closer to me and extends a welcoming hand. I take it and we have a warm exchange. Though I was closer to his master, Qui-Gon, it definitely feels like two old friends, reuniting after time apart.

"It has been far too long, Master Kenobi," I say with a warm, genuine smile, adding, "but I must warn you that I think your presence here is unnecessary."

I realize that what I said may have sounded harsh. However, I do mean it. I've said it many times since the attack: I don't need more protection.

"I'm sure the Jedi Council has their reasons." He added.

I almost forget that he is not alone. However, when I look to the figure behind him, my mind begins to doubt what my eyes are seeing. It is a moment I cannot begin to explain.

"Ani?" I gasp, shocked at the tall, dashing young man standing behind Obi-Wan.

I feel some resentment within myself for having to even remind myself at who this is. The last time I saw young Ani, he was, well, young. He was barely over four feet tall and had the face of a small boy hidden under sandy hair. I see him in my memory, sitting on that counter in the junk shop. I see him excitedly winning the Pod Race in Mos Espa. I see him, sad, and coiled up on my Naboo cruiser as we fly in space to Coruscant. Little Ani.

"My goodness, you've grown." I say to him, at a loss for words.

"So have you…grown more beautiful I mean…" He says to me.

We have this awkward exchange, looking deeply into each other's eyes. I cannot pull away, but I notice he cannot either. It is as if simultaneously, memories from ten years ago have just come at lightning speeds back into our heads, playing before us like a film.

I suppose he catches himself staring, because I hear him start tripping on his words.

"Well, for a Senator, I mean…"

I can't help but smile. The moment was indeed a little awkward; he just complimented my height, but he's looking down at me.

I give a small chuckle then reply kindly with, "Ani, you'll always be that little boy I knew on Tatooine."

I turn and head over to the long couches that face each other. It will be much more comfortable to have a conversation with the Jedi while sitting down in a casual environment than to remain standing at the doors. My wide cumbersome dress turns with me.

"Our presence here will be invisible, M'Lady. I can assure you." I hear Obi-Wan say from behind me.

"I'm Captian Typho of Her Majesty's security. Queen Jamillia has been informed of your assignment. I am grateful you're here, Master Kenobi. The situation is more dangerous than the Senator will admit."

By this point, we all take a seat on the couch. Jar Jar, Dorme, and I are sitting opposite of Obi-Wan and Ani.

"I don't need more security. I need answers. I want to know who's trying to kill me." I say, sounding persistent. I realize I've made this point so many times today I've lost count.

"We're here to protect you, Senator. Not to start an investigation." Obi-Wan says to me, sounding a bit reproaching, as if I need a lecture on their duty.

But before I can say anything to him, Ani interrupts. "We will find out who's trying to kill you, Padme. I promise you."

I wonder if it was the expression on my face or the tone in which Obi-Wan spoke in that cause this random and extreme outburst.

I want to interject, but again, my opportunity is cut off Obi-Wan this time. He looks taken aback. I can see anger towards his brash apprentice in his narrowed eyes.

"We will not exceed our mandate, my young, Padawan learner."

"I mean that in the interest of protecting her, Master, of course." He sounds as if he is defending me, but I do not wish for involvement in this argument.

"We will not go through this exercise again, Anakin. And you will pay attention to my lead." Obi-Wan hissed back.

"Why?" Anakin challenged.

I see Jar Jar's face in my peripheral vision. He looks just as uncomfortable as I do.

"What?" Obi-Wan spits at Ani.

"Why else do you think we were assigned to her, if not to find the killer?" He asked.

Again, I feel extremely uncomfortable. I do not wish to be the cause of more arguing among people. I do not know where Ani is going with this. It sounds as though he's saying their job is more about catching my assassin vicariously through protecting me. That's something that would come out of the mouth of a Jedi.

"Protection is a job for local security, not Jedi. It's overkill, Master. Investigation is implied in our mandate." Anakin continues.

This seems offensive to me in some way. I understand this as if the Jedi feel it's a burden being here. That's what I was afraid of.

"We will do exactly as the Council has instructed," Obi-Wan begins with a tone of finality in his words. "And you will learn your place, young one."

Ani gives his Master no response. It's probably for the best. We all seem a little uncomfortable by this point.

"Perhaps with merely your presence, the mystery surrounding this threat will be revealed." I begin, breaking the silence. The looks that the two Jedi give me tell me they can tell how worn and weary I feel right now. Neither says a word to continue conversation.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I will retire." I add, standing up from the soft couch.

I turn and take tired, heavy steps in my bulky gown. Marching across my apartment, I realize I forgot to give the Jedi one last look of appreciation. Regardless of their mission, or any ulterior motives they may have, I really do appreciate their company. I trust them. I know they mean well.

Darkness begins to fall on Coruscant. The millions of fluorescent lights ignite on the windows and surfaces of every building as I stand in the window, looking down and watching the city traffic. Dorme helps me undress and prepare for bed.

I feel as though it was an eternity ago when I was attacked, and Corde was killed. And yet, it was only hours ago. I climb into bed in my white nightgown and try to make sense of this phenomenon.

I feel myself drift off into sleep and I wonder how my life will change again. I have Jedi here to protect me wherever I may go. I have someone outside these walls waiting to kill me, their next attempt probably being arranged right now. One thing that lingers on my mind longer than other thoughts is the image of this newly grown Ani. It's been ten years. So much of his exterior appearance has changed. But it's like I said to him: he'll always be little Ani from Tatooine to me.


	6. Part 1: Night Terrors

VI

* * *

I jump in my sleep. My tired eyes force themselves open as I hear the click of my bedroom doors sliding open. Deep sleep is still upon me and all I can see are two figures rushing up to me. One jumps on the bed and ignites his light blue lightsaber. I want to scream, but nothing comes out. Is he going to kill me? Is this my assassin?

Suddenly he swings the blade so that it just grazes the blankets on my bed. Pieces of insects sputter to the wall beside me.

I spring up in bed, gasp, and look into his eye. We make eye contact for a long moment and I can see that it is Ani who is yielding the weapon. It is Ani who just saved me from those creatures.

From behind him, I see Obi-Wan run to the window as a blur and leap right though the glass out into the night city.

"Stay here!" Ani commands.

I am speechless. I cannot move. I cannot talk. I cannot think. Dorme and Captain Typho rush into the room as Ani runs out.

"You alright, M'Lady?" Dorme asks me, concerned.

I regain my composure and look into her sympathetic eyes. She understands me. She knows how stressful my position is. She knows it isn't easy to be on constant vigilance and watch for threat.

She embraces me and I rest my head on her shoulder and begin to sob. I was almost killed. Those poisonous insects had me at almost inches from death. Had it not been for the Jedi, my attacker would have finally won.

"The Jedi—" I begin, but Dorme silences me.

"The Jedi will be fine M'Lady. You need your rest."

But I don't need rest. How could I go back to sleep knowing that I cannot even be safe in my dreams anymore? No matter what I do, no matter where I go, I'm not safe anywhere.

Still, this fact is not even what bothers me the most. I put my duty and my job before my life. Rather than being scared of my attacker, I am more concerned with the politics behind it. I want to know the identity of my attacker. I want to know the reason behind their motivation. I want to know what is it about me that has made them loath me so badly that they need to kill me while I'm trying to exercise my duty and my power in my career. I cannot wait to cast my vote. I cannot wait to vote down the act. I cannot wait to see the look on my assassin's face when their motives are defeated and I have won.

I know these things sound a little harsh for me. It's against my duty and personality to say these things. These thoughts would never leave my head. No one would ever hear me say these things, but I cannot help it. I know I am a Senator. I know I have a certain amount of expected reverence, but I am still human.

Sitting here on my bed, my hair is disheveled, my nightgown twisted and hanging off of one shoulder. I sit, looking into Dorme's eyes, smelling the rising smoke from the charred and singed insect bodies on the floor, having rarely felt more human.


	7. Part 1: The Chancellor's Orders

VII

* * *

I am told to meet with Chancellor Palpatine the next morning. He cordially invites me for another audience in his office to discuss what had happened the night before. This time, I finally have the one-on-one meeting I had hoped for yesterday.

"Padme, the Jedi Council had conducted a priority meeting early this morning. This attack is not something that should be overlooked." He says to me with worry in his aged eyes.

"I understand, Chancellor." I say, holding back the fire of defense inside of me.

"Ultimately, they have discussed that this situation is much deeper than they had first anticipated. More and more people are getting involved, on both ends. Master Kenobi is on his way to investigate the evidence of the one who may have hired the assassin that attacked your ship. In the meantime, other Jedi will also be investigating the city and securing other Senators who may be at risk of being in your position. This isn't over, M'Lady." He explains.

This information hits me more quickly than it takes for me to process it. I understand that my life was at risk. I know that it still is. I just can't seem to grasp the fact that others are also in danger. I can't accept that numerous others are getting involved in helping find the killer. My head can't fully process how broad this has become.

The Chancellor sees the speechless expression written across my face. He offers a sympathetic smile, but it just makes the worry in my eyes grow.

"How?" is all I'm able to mutter from my slightly opened mouth.

"Last night, the Jedi chased your attacker to the Underground sectors of the city. They chased her into a club, but before she was able to give information, she was killed by what we can assume was the one who had hired her for the job. M'Lady, we are all unsure of where this will lead us to, or how long it will take to uncover the next piece of information." The Chancellor explains to me.

My life is being threatened by a long list of people who have been hiring other people. It is confusing. It is twisted. Before I can respond to him, however, the Chancellor adds to his explanation.

"The Jedi found a toxic dark in the neck of the bounty hunter they chased to the Undergrounds. Master Kenobi will be having it examined by droids in the Jedi Temple Analysis Room. But it still may be some time before we discover the source to these attacks."

I'm speechless. I know I cannot expect the Jedi to figure out this mystery over night. I do not expect them to. My worry is not how long it will take them to find the assassin, but how long I will remain in closed quarters of security, constantly under vigilant watch. The worry lies in how much time I will have to spend, here, in hiding.

The Chancellor slowly walks behind his desk and takes a seat. He motions for me to do the same, but I cannot budge. I can feel the blank expression that is on my face. The atmosphere of this room must be awfully uncomfortable, but this is just too much to bear. Even if I wanted to break the silence, I couldn't.

"I think you will want to sit for what I am about to tell you, Padme." He says to me with a smile filled with pain. It's as though he is biting his lip, knowing that what he's going to say will hurt.

I don't need this. I don't need sugarcoated news. I don't need people feeling sorry for me. I just want to know how much longer I'll be here waiting to cast my vote. And now the facial expression the Chancellor is giving me makes sense. It tells me that he already knows the answer, and worse, knows I'm not going to like it.

I sit in one of the several small chairs that face his desk, my gown collecting in bundles as I bend to fit into the seat. He knows how I feel. He knows how I'm going to react. He knows that I can see what he's saying without having even said it.

"It's not only me, M'Lady. The Jedi are also worried for your safety. We just want you to be safe while they investigate."

I should be grateful. I should be flattered. I should be relieved and happy. But I'm not.

"When?" is all I can say when I gain the ability to speak again.

"As soon as possible. I understand you may need to pack, but we want you to be ready to go as soon as possible. Just for precautionary measures." He answers.

_As soon as possible, _I repeat in my head. I'm to be rushed out of the capitol more quickly than I even arrived.

"You will not be alone. The Jedi have assigned someone to accompany you while Master Kenobi is on his own mission." He says.

I look up at him through glassy eyes.

"Who?" I ask.

"Obi-Wan's apprentice, Anakin." He answers cheerfully.

A slight wave of relief rushes over me. Thankfully it's Ani who will be my escort and stay with me. But this relief doesn't undermine the fact that I'm forced out of the capitol.

"Am I allowed to vote?" I ask before anything else.

"Yes. I can probably assume the way in which you will vote, however, you will need someone to be a representative for you in the Senate while you're gone." Chancellor Palpatine tells me.

_A representative? That's how I'll be voting for one of the Republic's most controversial and crucial issues of my time_. I am furious. I am irritated.

I rise from my seat. The Chancellor knows I'm done with this conversation.

"One last thing, M'Lady," He begins before I turn to leave.

I remain silent. I just look at him with expecting eyes, ready to hear what he has to say, expecting to become more infuriated than I thought physically possible.

"No one outside of the Jedi, myself, and you know that this is happening. You're leaving in secrecy so that you will go unnoticed. I mean this with sincerity. You and Padawan Skywalker will be traveling as peasants. You will travel with public transportation. But everyone here must still be under the impression that you remain in your apartment. Do you understand?" He explains.

I do, surprisingly. For once, I agree with something the Chancellor tells me. It will ensure my safety if there is still a "me" on Coruscant. Unfortunately, this means another decoy will be risking their life for me. Another handmaiden will be going to my bed every night—and the Senate every morning—expecting an attack.

I nod, insinuating that I understand the Chancellor's last commands. I turn away from him, giving me the opportunity to wipe the tears my eyes could no longer hide back.

"M'Lady, do be safe. This is the best thing for you now. You'll enjoy your stay. It's been too long since you've had some time to yourself. It is the most relaxing place for you to be during this time. But don't worry. The Jedi are quick. I'll hope to see you back here soon." He says cheerfully.

His efforts to cheer me up are irrelevant. I still cannot face him. I nod once more, and begin to walk to the door. Regardless of what I say, the Chancellor already knows how I feel. He knows I would rather be dead than in hiding. Still, I leave, accepting his orders, doing what everyone wants of me.

It isn't until I leave his office and the doors close behind me that it finally registers in my head what is happening. I'm going into hiding. I'm going back to Naboo.


	8. Part 1: Packing

VIII

* * *

I pace back and forth in my apartment waiting for him. I am inexplicably anxious. My palms begin to sweat and I repeatedly clear my throat as if I will be prompted to speak at any moment.

Dorme is in my bedroom, packing some of my wardrobe into a modest suitcase. I attempt to help her, placing a silk jacket into the suitcase. I tuck it in to fit precisely. Dorme gently pushes me away in a kind effort to say that it's better if she packs for me. Even though she looks at me with a smile, she looks wary and bothered. I will miss her assistance. This may sound ironic, given my current anxiety, but I would not have been this calm without her.

I look in a mirror for self-admiration, hoping that my confidence will boost when I see what Dorme has done to make me beautiful today. My hair is done in two symmetrical bundles shaped like tear drops on either side of my head. She was able to maneuver an intricate, wire headpiece that runs from my forehead to my ears and back. The Naboo emblems hanging from vintage silver chains are a bittersweet reminder of where I come from, and where I'll be going.

My dress, which is just as elaborate, is another variation of shades of blues. It is another costume Dorme has for me that features vintage details of Naboo's culture. The velvet vest is darkly elegant, enhanced with a center panel of vintage beading with gold, metallic embroidery. I cannot get over how beautiful the bodice looks. My eyes cannot pull away from its collection of iridescent gems. The metal armbands are also inset with these small, turquoise stones, making me look even more extravagantly beautiful and detailed. The skirt, with its dark, gray colored cloth, compliments the bodice so well. It is simple, but I still cannot believe Dorme dressed me like this just to pack.

I look somber in this dress. It is appropriate, given the current situation with my occupation. Dorme is such a genius.

I hear the doors of my apartment suddenly click open.

I turn and he is there, trudging towards me. A grin is on his face, but I can see it is hiding some seriously grave emotions. I can relate. He can hardly understand the toll this is taking on me. Still, I can't help but smile back. I've known him for ten years, after all.

"Senator Padme!" he says to me, throwing his arms up in the air welcomingly.

I try harder than ever to hide my smile behind a stern, stoic expression. He approaches me and wraps me in a warm embrace. I welcome his hug, despite his animated, jovial mannerisms.

When I break off the hug, I look seriously into his eyes. He must now understand my somber mood, because I see the ecstatic smile fade from his face.

"Meesa thinkin' somethin' be troublin' you, Senator." He says to me with comfort.

"I am taking an extended leave of absence. It will be your responsibility to take my place in the Senate while I'm gone. Representative Binks, I know I can count on you." I say promptly and professionally.

"Meesa honored to be taking on dissa heavy burden. Meesa accept this with muy, muy humility and da.." His voice trails off, searching for more things to say to me in a comically pompous way.

"Jar Jar, I don't wish to hold you up, I'm sure you have a great deal to do." I say to him, hoping he will realize how serious his duties have now become.

"Of course, M'Lady." He says, bowing his head to me. I see that warm smile return to his face as he turns and trudges back to the door of my apartment.

I turn and look to the entrance to my bedroom.

Ani is standing in the doorway, looking out of the windows as they are being replaced by droids. I am reminded of the events from the night before. I'm reminded of the events to come. I am also reminded of the fact that he was probably involved with making the decision to force me into hiding.

Annoyed, I begin to trudge back into my bedroom. I can only imagine the deep imprints my heeled shoes are leaving in the carpet from my angry, hard steps.

"I do not like this idea of hiding." I say to Ani. I'm sure he can relate. After all, he too is going with me, giving up on duties of his own.

I pass by him, and march back towards Dorme at the closet.

"Don't worry. Now that the Council has ordered an investigation, it won't take Master Obi-Wan long to find that bounty hunter." He says, turning to me.

Though he can't see me, I roll my eyes. Does he think that is my priority right now? Does everyone think that my concern lies with the chase for my killer?

"I haven't worked for a year to defeat the Military Creation Act to not be here when its fate is decided!" I say loudly, passionately to him, reminding him of my true priority.

"Sometimes we must let go of our pride, and do what is requested of us." He says to me.

This offends me for some reason. It bothers me that he sounds as if he's lecturing a child when he's the one who is standing there, an overgrown Jedi Apprentice in his shrouding, brown robes. The braid that hangs from his side to his shoulder serves as a reminder that he is a Padawan—a child.

"Pride?" I ask, sounding a little harsh, "Ani, you're young, and you don't have a very firm grip on politics. I suggest you reserve your opinions for some other time."

I immediately regret sounding so condescending and rude, but I refuse to stand there and let a Jedi Apprentice try to give me a sense of the Political world in which I practically grew up in.

The hurt is reflected in his face. He looks as though I just crushed him. I guess I was a little too harsh on him for such a small comment. He probably thinks I'm incredibly high-strung. He's probably right.

"Sorry, M'Lady. I was only trying to..." He says to me with genuine hurt and sorrow.

_To help?_ My head finishes the sentence for him. It sounds ridiculous and this time I feel a bit offended. He can hardly understand my position. I feel like I'm repeating my thoughts in my head over and over. So many people try to help me, but none know the situation as I do. I place another garment into the suitcase and as I look up, I see he begins to recoil. I don't want there to be distance between us. We will have to deal with each other on Naboo, after all.

"Ani! No!" I say, trying to console him and also fix the awkward aura that enveloped the room.

I think he can hear the genuine regret and sorrow in my voice, but his response is surprisingly dark and angry.

"Please don't call me that." He says, looking up at me, sounding more hurt than before.

"What?" I say, confused.

"Ani..." He replies quietly.

I'm shocked. I don't understand. Why did he get so offended?

"I've always called you Ani…that's your name, isn't it?" I say to him. This conversation caught me so off-guard I forget to go back to Dorme for another garment to pack away.

"My name is Anakin. When you say Ani, it's like…like I'm still a little boy…and I'm not a little boy anymore." He says to me, though his words are awkward and I can see he's uncomfortable saying this to me.

"I'm sorry, Anakin." I reply, trying to make his new title sound as fluid and effortless as I can.

"It's impossible to deny. You've…you've grown up." I say sincerely, not realizing that I look him up and down slowly as I speak.

It is truly hard to accept the fact that he is so grown. The last time I saw him he was nine years old, and just a little, troubled boy who was about to become a Jedi. I can still hear his tiny, boy voice when he asked me, "Are you an angel?"

I notice that he gives a slight, somewhat victorious smile as he drops his gaze and looks down at his feet.

"Master Obi-Wan manages not to see it." I hear him say as I turn back to Dorme and grab another piece to pack, my gown twisting and twirling with my movements.

"All mentors have a way of seeing more of our faults than we would like. It's the only way we grown." I say, trying to relate to his troubles. There have been plenty of political figures that advised me on Naboo, picking at each of my mishaps and disagreeable ideas.

"Don't get me wrong, Obi-Wan is a great mentor…as wise as Master Yoda and as powerful as Master Windu." He says playing with decorations on the tables in my bedroom. He uses the Force to balance a metallic sphere in midair. It's impressive. I suppose he's trying to prove something to himself.

"I am truly thankful to be his apprentice, only…" he says, putting the objects down and focusing his attention back on his conversation with me. I hear him stop speaking. He sounds as if he will regret what he is about to say.

I continue to pack more clothes, refraining from interrupting him, but I also don't press him into saying something he may not want to.

"Although I'm a Padawan learner, in some ways—a lot of ways—I'm really ahead of him. I'm ready for the trials. I know I am! He knows it, too. But he feels that I'm too unpredictable. Other Jedi my age have gone through it and made it. I know I started my training late, but he won't let me move on."

I can tell Anakin did not think of this speech on the spot. I can see that he has probably repeated this over and over in his head. I can see the relief in his eyes now that he's finally saying it to someone, finally getting it out from within.

"It must be frustrating." I say back to him.

I can hardly take him seriously. I want to, but it's just hard when I only know him as this small, whiney boy. I mean this in the most endearing way possible. The thought actually makes me want to laugh. I try to hide my smile from his view.

I quickly turn back to Dorme, releasing the smile that was dying to break across my face. She gives me eyes that say I should be ashamed of myself, but then she breaks a small smile too and buries herself into the depths of my closet.

"It's worse," I hear Anakin continue in the midst of the purely girl-to-girl moment Dorme and I just exchanged.

"He's overly critical. He never listens. He…he doesn't understand. It's not fair!" Ani bursts.

I turn back to him, unable to hide the smile any longer. He sees me, and I cover it with a slight, easy laugh and shake of my head.

"I'm sorry," I apologize, hoping he doesn't get offended, "You sound exactly like that little boy I once knew…when he didn't get his way."

Anakin's expression drops and he looks taken aback.

"I'm not whining! I'm not." He tries to cover himself, but it doesn't matter.

I give another laugh and turn back to Dorme for another piece of clothing. She gives a slight giggle from inside the closet.

"I didn't say it to hurt you." I say with sincerity.

"I know…" He admits, taking a seat on my bed next to the suitcase. He looks dejected.

I walk over to him and place a hand on his shoulder for comfort.

"Anakin…" I say, still trying to get used to calling him by his full name.

A moment passes over and we look into each other's eyes for a second too long. It is the first time I've seen his eyes like this. I'm sure it's the first time he's seen mine, too.

I forget what I was going to say to him, so I simply reply, "Don't try to grow up too fast."

"But I am grown up. You said it yourself." He says softly, standing up so now he's looking down intently on me.

I look into his eyes again before saying anything. For a moment I forget that Dorme is still in the room. I don't feel like I'm talking to Ani. Partially because I don't know if he feels like he's talking to me.

His eyes are the deepest I've ever seen. I don't know what to feel right now. I've never been looked at like this before. It's as if he's not looking at me as Senator Amidala. It's not like the people who have looked at me as Queen or Legislator. He's simply looking at me as I am—as Padme.

Snapping back to reality, I softly reply, "Please don't look at me like that."

"Why not?" He asks me with a playful smile.

I don't know where this is going. Suddenly he's not Ani anymore. He's not even Anakin.

"Because I can see what you're thinking." I say without thinking myself. It seemed like a dumb thing to say to a Jedi who actually has the power to play tricks on my mind.

However, he gives me a slight laugh. "Ahh…So, you have Jedi powers too?"

I smile, but when I hear Dorme give a suggestive "hem hem" from the closet, I realize that this is inappropriate. Anakin is my security now. This playful teasing is unprofessional, something the galaxy knows I am not.

"It makes me feel uncomfortable." I say with firm clarity, breaking the moment, realizing my priories. I refuse to let this Padawan learner—this ex-slave boy—get the best of me.

"Sorry, M'Lady." He says, still laughing, despite the fact that I can tell he is truly sorry.

I purse my lips in frustration, turn, and walk away from him back to Dorme to finish packing. I almost forgot I'm going back to Naboo.


	9. Part 1: Departing Coruscant

IX

* * *

I sit in the transport, watching the city speed by below me. The day has finally arrived to head back to Naboo. Since the Chancellor commanded me to flee back to my home planet, two days have gone by. In those two days, I met in secrecy with Jar Jar to give him a brief, crash-course on my political views and ideals to sway his vote and to inspire him to sway others to vote the same way. In those two days, I managed to cast my own vote, which, even though I won't be there to see the outcome, I considered it a personal victory that I was able to cast my vote at all.

Obi-Wan, Dorme, and Captain Typho are all traveling with us in the carrier. I can see by the expression on Obi-Wan's face that this is too many people to remain inconspicuous, however, I couldn't imagine leaving without saying goodbye to Dorme at the last possible moment. I'm leaving her with such a burden, it's the least I can do.

The sun creates a burning reflection of myself on the window. I admire the work Dorme has put into making me look like an Outlander peasant. I am dressed in a modest, mustard colored gown embroidered with intricate green and burgundy designs. There is a large, burgundy overcoat that matches the designs in color, complimenting them well. For now, Dorme has placed a large, metal headdress on me. It is decorated with the Naboo crest over and over, which I appreciate. Dorme told me I could wear it now, and once my safety is more assured on Naboo, but she has given me an elaborate, lace headdress that covers much of my face to wear on the journey on the Starfreighter.

It saddens me that this is the last time Dorme will be dressing me for a while. She has done such beautiful work. I almost wish I could have been dressed more elaborately, for Dorme's final job.

It makes sense, however, that I am not overly dressed and my makeup is hardly visible. I am a peasant. I have no starship. I have no place in society. Looking over to Ani, dressed in his peasant-like poncho and other garments, we do truly look the part. He even bundled up his Padawan braid and fastened it to the back of his head. Upon looking at us, truly no one would be able to tell that we are a Jedi and a Senator going into hiding.

Obi-Wan has taken this step of the plan to the extreme. It is endearing to see how much he cares about our safety. He told Ani and I earlier that we are to act the part of a couple traveling from the Thousand Moons System. It was amusing to see Ani and I struggling to keep from laughing while he was telling us this with total seriousness. I appreciate how serious he's treating this, but I doubt anyone will be so concerned with us to ask where we come from.

I look back to see Obi-Wan sitting nervously, looking out of the window in all directions. It is written all over his face that there are too many people on this transport, but I didn't feel comfortable coming without Captain Typho. And I still couldn't leave Dorme alone in the apartment.

We did reach a mutual agreement when I told him that I wanted Typho and Dorme to accompany us. Obi-Wan agreed, reluctantly, but enforced his part of the deal, commanding that it would only be Ani and I who would depart the transport and walk onto the freighter docks. Apparently, he thought it would give everything away if everyone went to see us off, which I do agree with.

Our small bus speeds through the city and cuts from the flow of traffic toward the massive freighter docks of the city's industrial area. The spaceport comes into view and I can see that it is already bustling with activity so early in the morning. Transport ships of various sizes move supplies and passengers like us as numerous giant floating cranes lift cargo out of the starships and into the larger, docked Starfreighters. I wonder which one of the freighters will be the one we will board.

The bus stops before a huge, intergalactic freighter starship. Smoothly, it parks in the shadows of an overhang. I can see people rushing around with luggage and boarding freighters all along the docks.

The bus comes to a complete stop and we all simultaneously rise from our seats without saying anything. The mood is somber for some reason. I get out of my seat first and head down the aisle, Dorme following closely behind me, and Captain Typho behind her.

"Be safe, M'Lady." He calls from behind.

"Thank you, Captian. Take good care of Dorme. The threat is on you two now." I say with hopes of comforting them, though I realize these probably weren't the best choice of words.

Dorme is the first to respond to me.

"He'll be safe with me." She says with a tiny smile. We look into each other's eyes for a long moment. We are both thinking the exact same thing.

Her eyes begin to fill with tears and her smile turns to a frown despite her twitching attempts to fight it.

"You'll be fine." I say to her, placing a hand on her arm for comfort.

I can feel her pain. I can't imagine what she must be thinking. She is taking such a risk for me. I feel almost guilty that she is the one crying instead of me. Even if I tried to cry, I don't think I could now. Too many thoughts are going through my head that I can't possibly focus entirely on one thing, even if it is for Dorme.

She looks back up at me.

"It's not me M'Lady, I'm worried about you. What if they realize you've left the Capitol?" She asks, looking concerned.

"Well, then my Jedi protector will have to prove how good he is." I say to her, hoping to relax her nerves and also give her a laugh.

When I have a moment to think, what I said is a bit true. It all comes down to how well Ani and I can do our jobs. If we succeed, and make it to hiding on Naboo, we should be fine.

I hear Obi-Wan pull Ani aside for a moment. Dorme and I continue to look into each other's eyes. Like sisters, we can fully communicate in this nonverbal way, but understand what each other thinks.

After a moment, I hear Obi-Wan's voice from behind me.

"I'll get to the bottom of this plot quickly, M'Lady. You'll be back here in no time." He says cheerfully, probably in an effort to life the grave expression from my face.

"I'll be most grateful for your speed, Master Jedi." I reply to him, avoiding eye contact.

I'm still bitter about having to leave, but the efforts Obi-Wan is taking to find my assassin are flattering. I'd be lying if I said I didn't truly appreciate it.

"Time to go." Ani mutters to me. I barely hear him. He sounds scared, and suddenly nervous. There is not much power in his voice. A wave of concern washed over me.

"I know." I reply just as quietly. The nerves are beginning to sink in now. I can't fully explain why I'm suddenly nervous. I know where I'm going, I know who I'm going there with, and I know that I'll be fine once I get there. Still, there is something about this situation that is giving me a furious flutter of nerves inside.

I turn to give Dorme one last hug. It is an embrace I don't want to break. I don't want to think this way, but there is some, inexplicable feeling as if this is the last time I'll be saying good-bye to her.

"Anakin, may the Force be with you," Obi-Wan's voice says professionally, but with a hint of friendliness.

"May the Force be with you, Master," Anakin replies very obviously on a student-teacher basis.

Ani hands me one of my two suitcases. He is carrying the other one and his own luggage in his hands. We head to the door of the bus and slowly walk side-by-side down the several steps and onto the concrete dock. I hear Artoo clanking down the steps behind us. I almost forgot he was making the journey with us.

I turn back to give one last look to our good-bye party. Obi-Wan and Typho stand in the doorway of the bus, watching us as we walk to our Starfreighter.

"Suddenly I'm afraid," I say to Ani.

I feel, now that it is just the two of us, I can voice my emotions. I don't have an audience in front of me preventing me of voicing my true emotions.

I wonder how Ani feels about the situation as well. He seems oddly serious and stone-faced as we walk closer and closer to the freighter. Finally, he replies to me.

"This is my first assignment on my own. I am too." He replies and I begin to grow worrisome. I think back to his podrace ten years ago. I think of the feeling I got when so much was at stake and he revealed to us, moments before the race, that he had never even finished a race prior. This is oddly similar. He is inexperienced with being a Jedi on his own. This is his first assignment without a Master Jedi. I take a deep breath, realizing that I am probably the more experienced on in our situation now.

We look at each other for a minute. The gravity of the situation is starting to finally sinking in. We can see it in each other's eyes. It's ironic at how nervous we are to simply be disguised as peasants going from here to Naboo. How can such a simple task seem so taxing and strenuous?

"Don't worry, we have Artoo with us." Ani reminds me cheerfully.

I give a forced laugh that sounds a little awkward, but it's nice to break a genuine smile for once.

We walk closer and closer into the crowded heart of the spaceport. For a split second, a part of me wants to stop and turn back. A part of me wants to not go through with this, despite how far we've come. A part of me wants to take a transport back to my apartment.

But I look back and can hardly see our small transport anymore. Ani and I step onto our designated Spacefreighter with ease and relief floods through me. We completely blend in. No one questions us and our disguises work flawlessly. I take a moment to take off my metal headdress and replace it with the more concealing, lace garment Dorme fashioned to further hide my identity.

Once I feel the Starfrieghter rattle a little, I know we are about to take off. There is a little bit of shakiness throughout this, but Ani looks at me reassuringly. We know we've made it this far. The motions smooth out. We've taken off now and I can tell that we're well into the atmosphere. As far as I'm concerned, Coruscant is a thing of the past, now.

Through everything, I finally see light in the situation. It sinks in, and for the first time, it truly registers in my head where I'm going, and I truly see safety in my grasp. I'm going home.


	10. Part 2: Spacefreighter Conversation

Part 2: Naboo

* * *

_Love is a virtue,_

_Love is urgent,_

_It connects me to you, you to me._

_Love is beautiful,_

_Love is everywhere._

_Forbidden Love is urgent. _

_Love is beautiful,_

_But falling in Love is complicated._

I

* * *

It feels like we've been traveling for days. Despite our convincing disguises, we keep to ourselves in a small area on the opposite side of a large wall of baggage and crates. A small table and two chairs are the rocks that we cling to during this journey. Even though we're safe, solidarity is starting to sink in and greet me as an enemy.

Don't get me wrong; I love the thought of going home. I love the thought of being safe. I'll get to spend some time with my family, and keep relevance with my position through communication with the Queen. I was stubborn on Coruscant. Now, however, I've gratefully accepted—even enjoyed—the prospect of going home.

There are so many beautiful places on Naboo. I create a small list in my mind of the more secluded, peaceful locations. When I think of Varykino, every other location that crosses my mind seems pointless. Varykino is perfect. It is in the heart of the lake country on Naboo. The mere thought of it brings me so many welcome memories. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't one of my favorite places on Naboo. I can almost feel as though I'm back during my years of Level Three schooling, visiting the Lake Retreat with my friends and family.

Instinctively, I smile. I look around the dark, dank environment of the Spacefreighter, trying to imagine it as the dining room of the Lake Retreat, or even the outside garden terrace. But my effort is useless. Such a depressing room could never convincingly transform to the beauty of the Lake Palace. It's almost a little more interesting that I cannot envision it right now. It makes getting there seem to be that much more of a reward.

I look down, allowing my lace veil to conceal my face to the space crud that walk past our sitting area. I'm sit next to Anakin. I wish I could tell him stories about Varykino, now that it is on my mind. When I look down at him, I see he is sleeping. Regardless, I think he'll like being at Varykino. Being that it is my family's tenancy, Anakin and I should have no problem in being able to staying there.

It's amusing to me to realize that we are not unlike the other passengers on the Spacefreighter. We are all emigrants. However, I know where I am going and why. How many other people in here can say the same thing? How many other people are running from assassins? How many people on here are the assassins themselves? I don't know what an assassin looks like. I've never even seen the one who so desperately wanted me killed. It makes me wonder again what kind of person thinks it's OK to kill other living, breathing, intelligent life for a career?

This galaxy works in many twisted ways. I lose sight of this when I'm on Naboo. I lose sight of this strange concept of diversity when I'm in my secluded, perfect penthouse apartment on Coruscant. I say that bitterly because while it is such a luxury, what sense of the real world does it provide me? What sense of real issues do I get from living in a penthouse apartment, up on the higher levels of the planet when all the real issues are down in the lower levels? Even now, my situation is disconnected from the situations of ordinary citizens.

This is what space travel is like for most people. I've grown so accustomed to private cruisers and starships. I haven't used this public transportation method in years. What does that say about my connection as a politician to the ordinary citizen of the Republic?

Political positions are quite interesting jobs. We spend our lives devoted to making this galaxy a better place. We spend our lives working all hours of the day to give equal and just rights to every being in the galaxy whether in the center of the galaxy, or off in the Outer Rim territories. Yet something seems legitimately wrong in the ideology that someone who spends their lives hopping from ritzy apartment to ritzy apartment can understand and relate to the troubles of a starving, plague stricken world where populations are dying off in millions by the minute.

This troubles me. I know I'm guilty of it. There has to be something wrong here. I was just attacked on the Capitol. Now, I had innumerable people make efforts to send me back to my home planet, track down my killer, and protect me from further danger. Yet somewhere, someone is under similar assassination right now. No one is helping them. No one is tracking down the killer for him or her. No one is protecting them. They have nowhere to go. They have nowhere to hide. Does this make me seem like a bad person? Is it wrong of me to seek refuge when so many others may be in similar situations with no refuge to seek?

These troubling thoughts begin to bother me. I try to shake them from my head by looking around for Artoo. I spot him over by the refreshments and meal counter. He is grabbing soup bowls for Ani and me. He must be up to something because I hear the server behind the counter yell, "Hey! No droids!"

I watch in amusement as Artoo presses his luck to sneak us back more food, before retreating back to us. I may be mistaken, but it looks as though he rolls back to our table with a more hurried, brisk pace than usual, as if he is worried the staff will chase him around the ship for snagging food. This makes me smile.

I look down at Ani again and I see that in the brief moment that passed, his forehead is now covered in beads of sweat. He has a worried look on his face and he is twitching painfully. Within moments, he becomes restless, and it is evident that he is having a nightmare. Artoo and I do nothing. We sit and look sympathetically on him. He begins to scream.

"No, no! Mom, no! Mom! NO!"

I can't bear it anymore. I gently place my hand down on his arm. I can feel his arms are wet. Even underneath his sleeve he must be sweating.

His eyes spring open and he breaths heavily. Looking around, gathering his bearings, he looks up at me and I see the wave of relief flood through him that it was only a dream.

"What?" He says to me, seeming confused.

"You seemed to be having a nightmare." I say, simply staring at him. I feel foolish but I realize he must be feeling the same.

He looks away from me with a contemplative scowl. He wears this expression as if he's trying to recount his dreams, as if he is worried he revealed any sort of secrets while screaming during the dream.

I take one of the bowls of mush and bread from Artoo and place it on the table by him.

"Are you hungry?" I ask.

"Yeah." He sighs, propping himself up and sitting on the chair across from me. The makeshift table separates us now.

"Thanks," He replies, dipping his head down to eat.

"We went into lightspeed a while ago." I say, trying to change the subject and add a lighter mood to the situation. Now is not the time to talk about his nightmare.

For the first time since Coruscant, he looks into my eyes.

"I look forward to seeing Naboo again. I've thought about it every day since I left. It's by far the most beautiful place I've ever seen." He says in a tone that made it seem as if that was a loaded compliment, as if he meant something deeper.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. I don't want him to mean anything deeper. I'm not sure how to respond to this type of conversation from Ani.

"It may not be as you remember it," I say. I don't want him giving this false, prefabricated image to Naboo. Yes, it is beautiful. But I don't want him to be disappointed by what he expects to get from this trip. "Time changes perception."

"Sometimes it does," he says, still giving me that intense gaze. He won't break it and now I'm the one avoiding looking into his eyes. "Sometimes for the better."

Feeling awkward, I take a spoonful of mush into my mouth and force it down. It tastes awful, but it was worth it. Seeking a subject change, I speak the first words that come to my head.

"It must be difficult having sworn your life to the Jedi. Not being allowed to visit the places you like, or do the things you like…" I say.

It isn't until I hear the words come from my mouth that I realize that it was an awful thing to say to someone who's life with the Jedi gave him more freedoms than restrains unlike most; it was an awful thing to say to someone who grew up in slavery.

To my surprise, Anakin isn't taken aback by it. He instead finished my sentence with a complete, albeit unexpected last option.

"…Or be with the people that I love." He says directly to me.

"Are you allowed to love? I thought love was forbidden for a Jedi." I ask feeling like venturing more into this conversation.

He takes a breath, the looks at me as if he's speaking professionally.

"Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life. So, you might say that we are encouraged to love." He says, finishing with a coy hint of laughter in his tone.

I am floored. Can this really be coming from the same, small Anakin I had known from ten years ago? He sounded so thoughtful, educated, and professional now. It caught me off-guard.

"You've changed so much." I say without hesitation, shaking my head and taking another spoonful of mush.

He smiles at me and replies, "You haven't changed a bit. You're exactly the way I remember you from my dreams."

I freeze when I hear him say this.

_He dreams of me? _I repeat in my head.

I cannot believe he just said that. How long has he been dreaming of me? What have these dreams involved? What has kept me in his head for ten whole years?

After a moment that lasted too long, he adds, "I doubt if Naboo has changed much either."

"It hasn't." I reply immediately. I refrain from moving the lace veil, actually inviting it to take over my face right now. I can't explain why, but my cheeks have turned every shade of rose, scarlet, and everywhere in between.

I clear my throat and eventually regain enough composure to look up at him and change the subject yet again.

"You were dreaming about your mother earlier, weren't you?"

"Yes," he says sadly, looking down, "I left Tatooine so long ago, my memory of her is fading. I don't want to lose it. And recently, I've been seeing her in my dreams. Vivid dreams. Scary dreams. I worry about her."

He sounds scared, concerned. I'm not surprised that he would rather dream of anything else—of me.

His mother was such a strong-willed woman. It was sad to think that something awful could be happening to her. Sure it was only a dream, but Jedi are not dumb. They can feel when things are real. They can interpret things differently than others. They just…know.

I can see that Anakin is scared for his mother. It has been ten years since they've last seen each other. It has been years since she last hugged him, kissed him goodnight, and told him they'll see each other again one day.

But that was ten years ago. A lot can change in ten years, especially on a planet like Tatooine. He had been freed of slavery, but Shmi was not. And being a slave then can be drastically different than being a slave now, given the rise of the Separatists.

There is nothing I can say to him. He knows Tatooine better than I do. He knows of the vile slave business that the planet thrives on. He knows the dangers of being unprotected and in the wrong hands. He knows the difference and danger between people who love you versus the people who love the idea of you.

Suddenly my problems don't seem to be relevant anymore. Once more, the politician's problems are being solved while the citizen's problems are just beginning to blossom.

I give him a sympathetic look like before, this time giving it more meaning that I want to. But for Anakin's sake, it's worth it. I just want him to know it'll all be over soon, and we'll be safe on Naboo together.


	11. Part 2: Arrival on Naboo

II

* * *

I try to envision the beautiful landscape and architecture of Theed as I feel the Spacefreighter swoop down and come to a stop at what I can assume is Theed's giant docking port. Normally on a royal starship, I would be able to see the vast city perched on the raised landscape, the waterfalls rushing down the sides of the cliffs.

Anakin, Artoo, and I exit with the rest of the emigrants, and when I realize it is safe enough, I take off my lace headdress and replace it with the less concealing, metal one I donned back on Coruscant. Now that I'm home, the worst is over. I don't care about concealing my identity knowing that we've made it.

The half-filled bus takes off and speeds up and out of the station. This was the view I was waiting for. The carrier takes us to the higher elevations, flying parallel to the waterfalls. I can almost see my reflection in the water, it's so clear.

The falls suddenly drop down and out of sight and the beautiful, open, clean city of Theed fills all degrees of my eyesight: the countless domed rooftops, the tiny people going about their daily lives in rich, elegant robes and clothes, the magnificence of the grand palace and all its greatness draws your eyes to it right away. There really is no place in the galaxy like Theed.

I turn to Anakin, who is sitting in a pair of seats across the aisle from me. I'm beaming from ear to ear and he can't help but smile too. He even gives a small chuckle when he sees how ecstatic I am to be home.

Like a child, I have my face practically pressed up against the glass window as the speeder bus gently cuts through the sky and lands with ease on the ground of the Grand Courtyard.

Once the bus comes to a stop, we disembark, Anakin carrying his bag and one of mine. I carry my other bag in one hand. Artoo is wheeling closely behind.

From the moment I step out of the bus and the outside air hits me, I am filled with a sensation like none other. The air was staler on Coruscant. Here, the smell of fresh flowers fills your nose, while the noise of the rushing waterfalls trickles in your ear. Everything here is so bright and friendly. The colors are warm; the air has a coolness to it that is both refreshing and irresistible.

It's quite funny to think that the last time Anakin was here, this same plaza was probably filled with Federation Battle Droids. I can tell by the look on his face that he too is mesmerized by the change in environment. His eyes grow nearly twice in size when he gets off of the bus and he takes several deep breaths of the cool air before we begin to walk. I guess for him, a lot did change in ten years.

Despite being here and wanting to soak up every inch of the environment that I can, I feel like it is best for us to go settle matters with the Queen first. Something about being here, being home just makes me feel so…free. On Coruscant, nothing mattered to me more than my vote on the Military Creation Act and finding my assassin. Now, however, I can't think of anything I want more than to just be me. I want nothing more than to just let go of my Senator persona and relax as so many people on Coruscant told me to do. It's as if I'm Senator Amidala there, and Padme here.

I think Anakin notices this too. It seems as if we have returned to our normal friendship we had when we met on Tatooine. It seems as if we have rid ourselves of the professional, awkward association when we were first reunited on Coruscant the other day.

"Welcome home," Anakin says to me with a friendly smile.

If I were to say anything, it would be a messy, conglomerate of inaudible sounds. The only thing I can do is to continue smiling back at him.

"I swear, if I grew up here, I don't think I'd ever leave." He says, looking around, squinting at the bright, beaming sun in the clear, pastel colored sky.

"I doubt that," I reply, when I can finally speak and we begin our stride across the Grand Courtyard.

"No, really," he begins, "When I started my training I was very homesick and very lonely. This city and my mom were the only pleasant things I had to think about. The problem was that the more I thought about my mom, the worse I felt. But I would feel better if I though about the palace and the way it shimmers in the sunlight, the way the air always smells of flowers…"

"…and the sounds of the distant waterfalls." I finish for him, looking around the courtyard in awe.

I begin to replay events of my childhood and early adulthood over in my head.

"When I first saw the Capitol I was very young. I'd never seen a waterfall before. I thought they were so beautiful. I never dreamed that one day I'd be living in the palace." I say, thinking of that memory from so long ago.

Ani looks at me kindly. It is as if he could picture me in my girlhood, a young diplomat, standing in awe at what I would one day call home.

"Well, tell me, did you dream of power and politics when you were a little girl?" He asks, determined to hear more of my past.

The conversation is not awkward like the one on the Spacefrieghter. Something about being at home, walking across Theed, makes me tptally comfortable with this deep conversation.

"No. That was the last thing I thought of," I don't hesitate to answer, "but the more history I studied, the more I realized how much good a politician could do."

Anakin looks at me curiously. It's interesting to see that now we're talking like professionals again, but in an entirely different manner.

"After school, I became a Senatorial advisor with such a passion that, before I knew it, I was elected Queen. For the most part it was because of my conviction that reform was possible." I explain, regardless if he's following my story or not. The look on his face tells me he's trying, but I can see that he's more likely trying to tell me he's paying attention when really focusing on something else.

Artoo is following closely behind, beeping along with happiness. I guess the environment even has a positive effect on droids.

"I wasn't the youngest Queen ever elected, but now that I think back on it, I'm not sure I was old enough. I'm not sure I was ready." I say as we ascend the steps of a small bridge that leads us to the entrance to the Palace and over a small waterway in the courtyard.

I murmur that last sentence with a tone of reflection. Ironically, as I said it, my eyes are drawn to sections of ground and palace walls that seem newer than others. They are the repairs to blasters and damage done ten years ago when I had to make the most vital and important choices of my young life.

"The people you served thought you did a good job. I heard they even tried to amend the Constitution so you could stay in office." Anakin says back to me, as if he's trying to cheer me up, reassuring me that my reign didn't end in infamy and that it meant a great deal to the Naboo people and history.

"Popular rule is not democracy, Ani. It gives the people what they want, not what they need." I say rather breathlessly as we step down on the reverse side of the bridge now. I'm trying to remain humble and focus on the technicalities of the political process, not how loved I was during my reign.

Walking along the side of the Palace towards the entrance, I continue, "And truthfully, I was relieved when my two terms were up. So were my parents. They were very worried about me during the blockade and couldn't wait for it all to be over.

"Actually, I was hoping to have a family of my own by now. My sister has the most amazing, wonderful kids. But when the Queen asked me to serve as Senator, I couldn't refuse her."

I say this with a smile. It's endearing how much Queen Jamillia begged me to stay involved with Naboo politics and run as a Senator. I can't help but feel like it's my duty, especially now with the Separatist movement and the Military Creation Act. I feel like there are some things that still need to be done in this galaxy that maybe I can help with. As much as I would have enjoyed retirement, I couldn't find it within myself to let someone else fix problems that I could help with myself.

"I agree with her. I think the Republic needs you…I'm glad that you chose to serve." Anakin says after a while. It's flattering. I appreciate his compliments. "I feel things are going to happen in our generation that will change the galaxy in profound ways."

There is obvious truth to what he says. Everyone in the galaxy is thinking it, whether about the Separatists and the possibility of war, or the future of the Senate and the Jedi. There's something about the events and issues going on now that seem to have a monumental feel to them. Regardless of what deals are made, or what compromises the end of this results in, the Republic will be changed.

"I think so too." I say to Ani and also myself, thinking of the Trade Federation and the Separatists, what they could be plotting, and seeing the image of two, large armies marching off to war burns in my mind.


	12. Part 2: Audience with the Queen

III

* * *

The Throne Room welcomes us with its grand, rotund presence, high ceilings, and warm marble architecture. I can see Queen Jamillia sitting in the throne from quite a distance. I suppose anyone can spot the Queen from such a distance, even when I was the one behind the desk. She looks so fittingly regal in her traditional makeup and gowns. Her hair is done so elegantly and extravagantly. Seeing her with such a commanding presence actually makes me miss these perks of being Queen. I wish I had been able to change into something more flattering and politically professional before our meeting.

"Thank you," Ani and I say in unison as a palace guard takes our bags, and holds them down in a vestibule that leads to the Throne Room.

The Queen must have heard my voice. When I turn my head and march up the several steps into the open Throne Room, she breaks off her conversation with Sio Bibble, and the other advisors of her party and looks directly in my direction with a warm smile.

"Oh, Padme," she sighs as if talking to an old friend. "We've been worried about you."

She rises from her throne, and her staff follow suite out of respect. The Queen takes my hand from across the large, marble desk.

"I'm glad you're safe." She adds, looking at me comfortingly.

"Thank you, your Highness. I only wish I could have served you better by staying on Coruscant to be there in person for the vote." I say back to her.

She looks at me with an expression as if the vote means nothing—as if I'm being ridiculous for wanting to be there for the sake of politics. She's only the hundredth person to have given me that look. I can already hear the speech about priorities and safety coming. Nevertheless, she is the Queen and demands the most respect in the room. If she feels the need to talk, I must listen.

"Given the circumstances, Senator, you know it was the only decision Her Highness could have made." Sio Bibble replies, trying to sound kind.

I turn to look at him. He approaches me and gives me a warm embrace. I have no other option but to give him an equally warm hug back. After all, he is like a father figure to me. He risked his life, and did so much for myself and for others, during the blockade.

"How many systems have joined Count Dooku and the Separatists?" Queen Jamillia asks with concern, sitting back down on her massive throne.

It surprises me that she has jumped to the conclusion that Count Dooku has something to do with it, even though the Jedi were apprehensive to assume he was involved. The advisors all take their seats, leaving one empty for me, closest to the Queen's right side. Anakin keeps to himself and stands behind me.

"Thousands," I say, taking my seat and placing my hands in my lap, "And more are leaving the Republic every day. If the Senate votes to create an army, I'm sure it's going to push us into a civil war."

"It's unthinkable. There hasn't been a full-scale war since the formation of the Republic." Sio Bibble retorts.

He's not fighting against me, however. The news is alarming to everyone; none of us react lightly.

"Do you see any way, through negotiations, to bring the Separatists back into the Republic?" Queen Jamillia asks me, the beads of her headdress making gentle, jingling sounds as she turns her head.

"Not if they feel threatened. The separatists don't have an army, but if they are provoked, they will move to defend themselves—I'm sure of that. And with no time or money to build an army, my guess is that they'll turn to the Trade Federation or the Commerce Guilds for help." I explain, trying to reason out the logistics of the Separatists.

"The armies of commerce!" The Queen gasps, sounding appalled, "Why has nothing been done in the Senate to restrain them?"

"I'm afraid that, despite the Chancellor's best efforts, there are still many bureaucrats, judges, and even Senators on the payrolls of the Guilds." I add, reminding everyone just how complicated and twisted politics can be.

"It's outrageous that, after all those hearing and four trials in the Supreme Court, Nute Gunray is _still_ the Viceroy of the Trade Federation. I fear the Senate is powerless to resolve this crisis." Sio Bibble says grimly.

He sounds both disgusted and pessimistic, making me wonder if this may have to go further than my efforts of trying to solve this diplomatically.

The Queen must sense my loss of faith. I look down, and when I look back up at her, she is giving me a look that suggests he is talking too negatively and that I should not lose hope.

"Remember, Counselor, the courts were able to reduce the Federation's armies. That's a move in the right direction." She adds with a slight smile, hoping to make this conversation a little more optimistic.

Against my own desire, I infect her hopeful comments with more negativity.

"There are rumors, Your Highness, that the Trade Federation Army was not reduced as they were ordered." I inform the group.

The Queen looks stunned and concerned. I see her eyes dart up to Anakin, as though he would have an answer as to why even the Jedi didn't intervene. After all they did to Naboo, it is logical as to why the entire group of advisors take this harshly. They all wore the same expressions that read, _Why weren't they justly punished for their crimes?_

Maybe there is something wrong with court systems? Maybe there is some underlying corruption, some way in which they were inexplicably able to slip themselves out of the punishment the entire galaxy knew they deserved?

"We must keep our faith in the Republic." The Queen says after a moment of silence.

She rises from the throne and begins to walk toward me. Everyone else in the room rises as well.

"The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it." She adds.

"Let's pray that day never comes." I reply with finality.

"In the meantime, we must consider your own safety." She says, walking along side of me with a smile.

Before I can reply, I hear Sio Bibble speak from behind.

"What is your suggestion, Master Jedi?"

Is he speaking to Anakin? Surely he must know Anakin is only a Padawan learner. His Padawan braid is clearly visible.

"Oh, Anakin's not a Jedi yet, Counselor. He's still a Padawan learner." I say before turning back to the Queen, "But I was thinking—"

"Hold on a minute." I hear Anakin interrupt from my side.

Infuriated at his rudeness, I say stiffly, "Excuse me!"

The Queen looks uncomfortable, but I turn back to her and continue, "I was thinking I would stay in the Lake Country. There are some places up there that are very isolated."

"Excuse me," I hear Anakin interrupt coldly, "I'm in charge of security here, M'Lady."

"Yes, I know. But Ani my life is at risk, and this is my home. I know it very well—that is why we are here. I think it would be wise for you to take advantage of my knowledge in this instance." I say, articulating every word and purposely calling him "Ani", hoping it hits him with the blow of a forceful punch to the stomach.

"Sorry, M'Lady." He says, taking a deep breath and giving me a smile that is anything but warm. His eyes are slits, filled with embarrassment and anger.

I am suddenly convinced that Obi-Wan is right in saying Anakin is too emotionally impulsive. He does act without thinking, letting his heart make his decisions, not his mind.

The Queen and Sio Bibble exchange awkward glances. The mood in the room is completely uncomfortable. I give Anakin an icy glare and turn my back to him without hesitation.

I look at the Queen with respect, expecting to continue our conversation again, like this tiny scuffle had never even happened.

"Perfect," Queen Jamillia says cheerfully, "It's settled then."

We step down the few marble stairs out of the Throne Room. Anakin and I retrieve our bags from the guard. Artoo is waiting for us as well.

"Oh, Padme, one more thing," The Queen says abruptly.

I turn to her, "Yes?"

"I had an audience with your father yesterday. I told him what was happening. He hopes you will visit your mother and him while you're here. You know, before you leave for the Lake Country or wherever." She says, concerned. She sounds just like the Chancellor when he more or less ordered me to come to Naboo.

She must see the look on my face because she says, in the same tone, like a concerned parent, "Your family is very worried about you."

I'm left with nothing to say. I cannot say "no" to her. She, like everyone else in the galaxy, has my best intentions at heart.

"Thank you, your highness." I say, finally, and turn to exit.

Worry floods through me as we descend the main staircase. Something about hearing how worried my family is strikes me. My family, who has always been my emotional rock, is worried about me. It sounds a little redundant, but to me, the fact that they are so worried makes me realize that maybe this is a bit more serious than I originally thought. Maybe I am in danger. Maybe I do need Anakin's protection and security.


	13. Part 2: Padme Returns Home

IV

* * *

It feels strange to be going home. I haven't seen my parents in quite some time. I know they're very worried and concerned, but I'm not a fourteen-year-old Queen anymore. I'm an adult. I hope seeing them before going to the Lake Retreat will give everyone some hope that I really am OK.

Aside from the variety of feelings swimming through my stomach, I experience such a sensation of relief. As soon as we left our audience with Queen Jamillia, Anakin and I changed from our gaudy, peasant robes and into more relaxed clothing to fit our new environment. Of course, he changed into his traditional Jedi robes of dark browns and black. He placed his heavy, brown robe on over his ensemble.

I dressed myself in a selection I pulled from one of my luggage bags. It was strange to not have Dorme there to assist me as I slipped into my pastel blue garments. This two-piece ensemble was much lighter and freer than my rigid, heavy gowns and pieces I wore during my time on Coruscant or even as Queen, years ago. The top is separate from the bottom. It has tight, long sleeves, and ends just below my bust line. The dress, rather simple, is a wrapover skirt, resting just on my hips and attaching on my left side. It feels quite exhilarating to have my entire abdominal section exposed. I do feel so free.

When I see Anakin wearing his Jedi robe, I decide it's only natural that I too cover myself with some form of cloak. I grab a very elegant robe that Dorme packed for me. Decorated in shades of ivory and pastel blue. It matches my two-piece garment perfectly—it was probably meant for this outfit anyway. The cloak is extremely soft and ripples like soft, calm water with every slight movement I make.

Before long, Anakin and I are strolling down the streets of Theed in search of my parents' home. People are passing us by on the little streets. Old men are sitting in the sunlight, admiring the youth running about, playing games with each other, and living their young lives. Women are talking to each other, probably gossiping about other women in the city. Regardless if anyone recognizes us or not, they do not make an ordeal out of our presence. It's nice to be able to be myself, and not be hiding. I'm sure once we get to Varykino, this feeling will hit me with full effect.

I lead Anakin down a side street and my pace instinctively quickens.

"We're here," I say, turning to Anakin with a beaming smile.

I start forward, Anakin trying to keep up behind me.

"This is my house." I say through such a smile.

We stop before a large building made of the earthy stone and rock like most other Naboo buildings. Beautiful, green foliage covers sections, expanding more and more with each visit I make.

I notice Anakin hangs back for a minute.

"What?" I ask.

He doesn't give a reply. He just stands there, hiding his limbs in the depths of his brown cloak. Smiling, he just looks at me with anxious eyes, but says nothing.

"No, but I…" He begins, sounding untruthful. He's not good at lying.

I hear the shouts and laughter from two little girls. They burst from the house and come running down the stone steps towards me.

"Ryoo! Pooja!" I yell excitedly.

"Padme!" They yell back in unison.

I drop to the ground and hug both of them. It's been so long since I saw them. Even though Ryoo is six, Pooja only four, there is such life in them that I wish was a part of my own life. I would never exchange my life to be young again, but I just wish some people didn't expect so much of me. I wish I didn't have to be so serious all the time. Maybe then I could have a husband like Sola and children like Ryoo and Pooja.

"Go wake up Artoo." I say to them, pointing to the domed astromech droid.

"ARTOO!" They scream, running over to him and giving him a hug.

I laugh, hearing Artoo whistle and beep back at them. The two children sit with him and play along with him as if playing some sort of game like the children on the other street.

Anakin and I walk up the stone steps and into my parents' modest, but luxurious home. As soon as we walk in I take off my cloak and hang it up by the door. I tell Anakin to do the same as I speed off into the dining room.

"Darling," I hear a familiar, deep voice say to me.

"Daddy," I say, smiling widely.

I run to my father and hug him tightly. It's nice to feel like I'm never too old for a hug from him.

"I'm so glad your safe. You're mother will be so happy to see that you remembered to come visit." He says to me, but by the tear glistening in his eye, I can tell that my mother probably isn't the only one who is glad I stopped by.

Sola comes into the dining room from the kitchen carrying a big bowl of food. She's looking over her shoulder, speaking to my mother, "They're eating over a Jev Narran's later, Mom. They just had a snack. They'll be fine."

She sees me when she turns around and a smile takes over her face too. Carefully, she places the bowl on the table and greets me with a hug, like everyone else.

"Padme!" She says happily, "You're late. Mom was worried."

"We walked. I guess it would've been faster to take a transport." I say, trying to make excuses for our irrelevant tardiness.

"Anakin," I say, turning to face him, "this is my sister, Sola."

"Hello, Anakin." She greets kindly.

"Hello," He replies, giving my sister an awkward handshake, covering it then by looking back at me with a sweet grin.

Sola, impatient as always, retreats back in to the kitchen just as my mother comes in with another massive bowl of steaming food.

"…And this is my mother." I say, introducing her to Anakin.

"Hello," she says with a cordial nod of the head, "You're just in time for dinner. I hope you're hungry, Anakin."

"A little," he says modestly, watching her place the heaping bowl on the table.

"He's being polite, Mom. We're starving. We haven't eaten since we got here." I reply.

"Well, you came to the right place at the right time." She says, taking her seat at the end of the table.

Anakin and I sit next to each other, Sola returns from the kitchen and takes the seat opposite of me. My father sits on the other end of the table.

"Honey, it's so good to see you safe. We were so worried." My mother says to me.

"Dear…" I hear my father say in a tone that suggests he must have previously told her not to mention anything about being worried for me.

"I know, I know. But I had to say it. Now it's done." She replies, throwing her hands up and taking a scoop of food.

To my left I can see my father making eye contact with Anakin. His chewing mouth turns into a smile and I can't help but notice how mature and well Anakin is handling meeting my parents for the first time.

"Well, this is exciting! Do you know, Anakin, you're the first boyfriend my sister's ever brought home?" Sola says with a mischievous grin.

I roll my eyes and look at her with daggers.

"Sola. He's not my boyfriend. He's a Jedi assigned by the Senate to protect me." I say to her, quick to defend myself.

But it is my mother who replies to my comment first.

"A bodyguard?" She asks, "Oh, Padme. They didn't tell us it was that serious."

She drops her utensils and looks at me with a look of hopelessness.

"It's not, I promise." I say, looking at her reassuringly.

"Anyway, Anakin is a friend." I continue, trying to change the subject. "I've known him for years. Remember that little boy who was with the Jedi during the blockade crisis?"

I see my parents and sister give slight nods.

"Well, he grew up." I say with a smile, looking over to Anakin.

"Honey, when are you going to settle down? Haven't you had enough of that life? I certainly have." My mother insists.

For a brief moment, a small part of me wonders if she's saying this because I brought Anakin here. Is she trying to insinuate something between Anakin and me?

"Mom, I'm not in any real danger. I promise." I defend.

"Is she?" I hear my dad say to Anakin from across the table.

I want him to lie. I want him to tell my father that I'm safe. I want him to forget, just for this moment, that he's talking to my parents and for him to think about the sake of the conversation.

"Yes," he says, and I close my eyes feeling defeated, "I'm afraid she is."

My father looks saddened when he hears the news. My mother looks horrified. Sola gives me a look of pity and sorrow.

"But not much." I add for a pointless effort at easing the situation.

After dinner, my mother, Sola, and I take the plates and dishes from the table and into the kitchen to clean up while my father and Anakin take a walk out in the garden.

"Why haven't you told us about him?" Sola asks me casually.

"What's there to talk about? He's just a boy." I say, avoiding contact and fighting the urge to smile.

"A boy? Have you seen the way he looks at you?" She says to me from the sink.

"Sola—stop it!" I yell back to her. It comes out louder than I anticipated, but hopefully it gets the point across. I love my family dearly, and I don't hide anything from them. But there are some topics of conversation that I just feel awkward talking to my family about. My relationships—whether with Anakin or any boy—are one of those sensitive, private topics.

"What? It's obvious he has feelings for you. Are you saying, little baby sister that you haven't noticed?" She says in all seriousness.

I don't know what to make of this. I didn't expect such a response. I thought this was all playful teasing. Suddenly, it seems to have developed into something more.

"I'm not your baby sister, Sola. Anakin and I are friends." I say, looking out the kitchen window. Below, I can see my father and him walking around the gardens. They seem to be getting along. Both are smiling and carrying themselves with a casual presence.

"Our relationship is strictly professional." I add.

But she smiles as if I'm just making silly excuses.

"Mom, would you tell her to stop it?" I say, fed up. But my mother is still smiling from my last comment about my relationship with Anakin. This only fuels me with more bitterness.

"Well, maybe you haven't noticed the way he looks at you. I think you're afraid to." Sola says, laughing and cleaning dishes.

"Cut it out," I say bitterly.

"Sola's just concerned." I hear my mother say from behind me. _Now_ she chooses to speak. "We all are."

"Oh, Mom, you're impossible. What I'm doing is important." I insist, trying to defend my position. The conversation turns from Anakin, to just my safety in general. In some ways, this isn't a bad thing.

"You've done your service, Padme. It's time you had a life of your own. You're missing so much!" My mother says to me with a look of earnest seriousness.

I know she wants me to settle down. Sometimes, I want to settle down too. But I know I still have priorities and work to do in the Senate. I've worked so hard, and gotten so far, I can't let my own personal life get in the way of all of that now. I can't give up on doing my duty. I can't put myself before planets full of people who depend on me.

When I think of her last comment, and when I look out the window, I think once again that she is saying these things to me because of Anakin. Somehow, the conversation reverted itself back to him.


	14. Part 2: Padme's Bedroom

V

* * *

"Don't worry this won't take long." I say, opening a suitcase and placing it on my bed.

"It's alright. I just want to get there before dark." Anakin says to me, but looking in every direction around my room instead of at me.

I make trips back and forth from my boudoir to the suitcase and back again.

"You still live at home." Anakin says to me, but as more of a statement instead of a question.

"I move around so much, I've never had a place of own. Official residences have no warmth. I feel good here. I feel at home here." I say, placing a garment in my bag and remembering moments of my childhood spent here.

"I never had a real home," Anakin says walking around slowly, admiring my wall hangings, "Home was always where my mom was."

I place another garment in the bag, and I hear him give a small chuckle.

"Is this you?" He asks.

He's standing at a framed hologram, hanging on my wall. It shows a young me at about seven or eight. I'm surrounded by a group of small children from another planet. In the picture, I'm holding one in my arms. It is clear that they're all wearing huge smiles from being around me, even though I'm the only human in the picture.

"That was when I went with a relief group to Shadda-Bi-Boran. Their sun was imploding, and the planet was dying. I was helping to relocate the children. See that little one I'm holding? His name was N'a-kee-tula, which means 'sweetheart'. He was so full of life. They all were. But they were never able to adapt—to live off their native planet. They all died." I recount the grim, frightening events as I leave the picture to place another garment in the luggage bag.

Even though I was young, I still remember the experience of being there. I remember the heartache of knowing that they weren't going to make it, but I would, all because of species. It was awful, but it was empowering. It really showed me that there were things that needed to be done—problems that needed to be solved—in this galaxy.

When I turn around, I notice Anakin moved on to another hologram on the wall. In this one, I was ten or eleven. I look so embarrassing, standing between two robed legislators in official robes of my own. I have such a stern, austere expression for such a young, inexperienced politician.

"That's me on my first day as an Apprentice Legislator," I say, looking at the picture. "Notice the difference."

I smile and take another outfit to put into the bag.

When I turn around, I notice Anakin now looking back and forth between both pictures. He's studying them in comparison: the jovial, happy little girl, and the slightly older, but more serious, professional young adolescent.

He turns to me with a slight smile and raised eyebrows.

"What?" I ask.

"I just can't believe I'm in your bedroom." He says, laughing a little.

I laugh with him, but only because I remember being in his bedroom ten years ago when he was nine. Why does he feel like being in my bedroom is such a big deal?


	15. Part 2: The Villa Retreat

VI

* * *

Leaving my parents and their home was bittersweet. It was great to see everyone again. I loved spending quality time with them, and introducing them to Anakin, but I wish it would have been under more relaxed circumstances. Still, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a tear in my eye when we said our good-byes and Anakin and I made our way to the Lake Country.

On the journey to the Lake Retreat I can only think some alarmingly grim thoughts. I suppose the emotional toll of going into hiding didn't hit me until now, when we're actually on our way to our destination of refuge. It's unknown to everyone, at this point, of how long we'll be here, how long we'll have to be in seclusion.

A few days pass by and Anakin and I decide to pass some time by taking a water speeder around the lake. Once again, I exhibit Dorme's fashion skills and dress myself in a very loose, diaphanous dress that feels as though it will fall off if I merely sneeze. Still, it looks beautiful and reflects the tone and environment of the Lake Retreat perfectly. The hem of the dress is a smoky lilac color that blends to every shade of pink and orange until it transforms into a light, pale yellow at the neck. My back and shoulders are completely exposed in this dress, and depending on my movements or a person's point of view, who knows what else is visible...

I pride myself most on my hair, however. Dorme was the best at styling my hair. Without her, I was a little apprehensive as to how my hair would look in accordance to my wardrobe. I take the risk by styling it in a swirled design, very reminiscent of a conch shell, perfect for the islands of the Lake Country. I place several matching bands in my hair to hold the style in place.

It isn't until I emerge from my room and come out onto the terrace that I can see the full effect of the gown. Anakin stands there, waiting for me to join him in the water speeder. He smiles, open-mouthed, when he sees me. I guess the ensemble does look nice.

We take a small ride in the water speeder, smiling back and forth while looking at the scenery. Our lodging is perfect. It's completely isolated, just as I told Anakin it would be. In addition to our privacy, it's also remarkably beautiful. I don't remember it being quite so beautiful in the past. It seems to glisten on the lake of rich, blue water, which ripples like glass and makes soft, gentle dripping noises as the speeder cuts through. The island itself seems to glow in various colors of vibrant, healthy greens that rise high into the surrounding mountain ranges. It is a perfect, sunny day to be out here on the lake. It is a perfect, sunny day to be right here, right now.

Following our sojourn on the lake, we head back up to our lodge at the Lake Retreat. Like a gentlemen, Anakin holds out a hand and helps me get my bearings and step out of the water speeder and onto the stone dock.

As we walk up the stairs, the full, lovely terrace overlooking the gardens comes into view. I can tell by the expression on Anakin's face that the lodging is bigger than he expected it would be, and after a few days, he is still discovering more, new rooms and locations.

The view expands as we ascend the stairs. By the time we reach the top step, I can see well across the terrace, and even across the lake to a small island.

"When I was in Level Three, we used to come here for school retreat," I say to Anakin, looking out at the expanse of beautiful Naboo.

"See that island out there? We used to swim there every day. I love the water." I tell him in an unconsciously dreamy tone as we stroll across the terrace, my dress, rippling in the soft breeze.

We reach a stone balustrade on the far side, which overlooks the gardens and provides us with a romantically beautiful view of the lake and mountains. I can't believe how perfect this scene really is.

"I do too," Anakin says, looking at me, rather than the lake or the islands. "I guess it comes from growing up on a desert planet."

I see him looking at me and I return his gaze, but this time neither of us breaks into a smile like before. After a long moment, I drop my eyes to the lake once more.

"We used to lie out on the sand and let the sun dry us…." I say, feeling the warmth of the sun on my arms and bare back.

"…and try to guess the names of the birds singing." I finish, closing my eyes and listening to the birds chirping and tweeting off in the distance. I feel so calm and serene here, right now.

I can hear the gentle sounds of the water below rippling and moving. The breeze rustles some leaves on the nearby trees. I begin to lose myself in this symphony of sounds. It's as if they're playing a theme for Anakin and I, a boy and a girl who have been reunited after time apart from across the stars.

"I don't like the sand." Anakin says after a while, bringing me back into the moment. "It's coarse, rough, and irritating, and it get's everywhere. Not like here. Here everything's soft…and smooth..."

When I turn to hear him talk, I see he is looking directly at me. His hands, fiddling with some small stones and gravel from the balcony, begin to move closer to me until one is smoothly stroking my arm. I see the look in his eyes as he touches me. I become frozen and cannot respond. Nerves get the best of me and I take a deep breath.

"There was a very old man who lived on the island. He used to make glass out of sand—and vases and necklaces out of the glass." I say abruptly, turning back to the lake, afraid of what may have happened had I kept my gaze on Anakin.

"They were magical," I add, seeing our faint, blurry reflections in the water below. I can see that Anakin is still looking at me.

"Everything here is magical." He says to me, inching closer.

"You could look into the glass and see the water. The way it ripples and moves. It looked so real…but it wasn't." I say losing myself to the moment once more. It's something about this story and telling it to Anakin…something about the air right now…something about the sounds and the sights of the Lake Retreat…

"Sometimes, when you believe in something to be real, it becomes real." Anakin says to me.

The conversation is no longer about the old man's glass.

"I used to think if you looked too deeply into it, you would lose yourself." I say, looking back into his eyes.

I'm no longer Senator Amidala. I'm no longer on a diplomatic mission. I no longer have duties in the Senate. I am just Padme, now. I have only myself in the moment, and there's a boy beside me, but he's no longer Padawan Skywalker. He's no longer serving his duty by protecting me. He's no longer forbidden to be this close to me. He's simply Anakin.

I feel his hand move to my back. He runs his hand up and down my back, which sends chills through my body, but I don't back away. The chill doesn't bother me.

"I think it's true…" He replies to me, moving even closer.

We look into each other's eyes that seems to last forever. A small smile appears on Anakin's face. We're both thinking the same thing.

He moves even closer to me and I close my eyes, just waiting for what I know will come. I feel his lips approaching mine as the symphony of our forbidden love crescendos in my head. I sigh softly, and when I feel my breath return to me, I know just how close he is.

Our lips meet and there is a moment that is pure bliss. I don't resist and our kiss feels warm and right. The love theme rings through my head.

Suddenly, my mind is bombarded with thoughts. I come to my senses and realize that I _am_ Senator Amidala. Anakin _is_ my Jedi protector. I do have a job to do and this isn't professional for either of us.

I pull away from him and turn to the lake.

"No," I say, gasping for breath, "I shouldn't have done that."

"I'm sorry." Anakin says simply back to me, but I don't think he was apologizing for the kiss.

I refuse to meet his eyes anymore. I just can't lose myself like that. I can't let my priorities get lost within my emotions. Is it the situation and the stress that's made me do this irrational thing?

I keep my eyes fixed on the view—the island across the lake, the trees nearby, and the water below. I can still see Anakin looking at me in the reflection. The symphony no longer plays for me. It is only mere meaningless sounds of nature now.


	16. Part 2: The Meadow Picnic

VII

* * *

The sounds of the rushing waterfalls echo in my ears. Anakin and I have ventured to an expansive, hilly meadow. The lush, green grass is healthy, tall, and sprinkled with flowers. The scene is idyllic. The warm, summer air is comforting. I can smell the season in this meadow. The puffballs that float through the air look playful and free.

It has been over a few days since Anakin and I exchanged our kiss on the garden terrace. Our relationship had taken an awkward turn ever since. I tried desperately to forget about the kiss, but in all honesty, I couldn't. Every time Anakin and I crossed paths, looked at one another, or even looked away from each other, I couldn't help but imagine our kiss, the way his lips felt against mine, or the romantic symphony that played through my head.

In spite of wanting to force him out of my head, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't think of him without thinking of loving him.

Deciding to go out on a picnic today was a good idea. It would take our minds off of the tension, and finally give us something to talk about and something to do without returning to the thought of kissing each other. Not only was the weather perfect, but our moods were too.

I'm dressed in a light ensemble that is various shades of yellow. It's a bit more traditional than the dress I wore on the terrace the other day, but there is still a summery, romantic feeling it carries. Small, flower buds decorate the firm bodice piece and carry into the matching, transparent shawl. Ribbons of light, pastel colors hang from my sleeves, and are also decorated within the excess of hair that hangs from my formal, court-style headpiece. Two identical bundles of hair, contained by yellow webs of fabric sit on either side of my head while the rest of my dark, curly hair piles around, or hangs down to my back.

I missed Anakin's company these past few days. I simply missed being around him and laughing with him and talking to him.

"I don't know…" I say softly to him, smiling.

We sit together casually in the tall grass. Our conversation is light and playful.

"Sure you do. You just don't want to tell me." He says, picking apart some pieces of grass.

"Are you going to use one of your Jedi mind tricks on me?" I ask, but not seriously.

"They only work on the weak minded," Anakin replies, "You're anything but weak-minded."

I give him a sidelong look. I'm unconvinced, but I don't care about it. Right now, it's just Anakin and me talking.

"Alright," I begin, "I was twelve. His name was Palo. We were both in the Legislative Youth Program. He was a few years older than I—very cute. Dark curly hair…dreamy eyes…" I say all of this very playfully and animated.

"All right, I get the picture." Anakin replies, obviously done with the conversation, obviously jealous I once had feelings for another boy.

I don't want to say it, but he was the one who brought it up. He wanted to talk about past boyfriends. Boys always have a habit of bringing up that topic. I simply gave him what he wanted.

"Whatever happened to him?" He says, sounding apathetic.

"I went into public service. He went on to become an artist." I reply.

"Maybe he was the smart one." Anakin says, looking at me, squinting from the bright sun.

"You really don't like politicians, do you?" I ask him harshly.

I'm kidding, of course. He just has this funny way of always wanting to contradict my political views.

"I like two or three, but I'm not really sure about one of them." He says, smiling.

_Me_, I think.

"I don't think the system works." He adds, sounding serious.

"How would you have it work?" I ask, amused at the thought of listening to a Jedi tell a Senator how the Senate should be run.

"We need a system where the politicians sit down and discuss the problem, agree what's in the best interest of all the people, and then do it." He explains.

"That's exactly what we do," I say, trying to hold back a laugh at his redundant comment. "The—the trouble is that people don't always agree."

"Well, then they should be made to." He says, frustrated, picking at more flowers.

"By whom? Who's going to make them?" I ask, feeling myself getting just as tense and frustrated in the conversation. I don't think he likes me challenging his points of this conversation.

If I've learned anything from this conversation it's that a Jedi should never pick a fight about politics with a Senator. The Senator will always win.

"I don't know—someone." He answers without thinking.

"You?" I retort firmly. I know I've got him now.

"Of course not me." He says, whether trying to be humble, or accepting the fact that he doesn't understand politics.

"But someone?" I repeat, showing him just how crude his comment was.

"Someone wise." He throws back, looking at me with an expression that shows he really buys what he's saying.

Maybe he is being serious about this conversation.

"This sounds an awful lot like a dictatorship to me." I say, turning my head to the grass around us, looking off in the distance at the waterfalls, listening to their deep, soothing rumbles.

I can see a small, mischievous grin grow across his face.

"Well, if it works…" He adds, smiling at me.

This whole time he has been playing me. I turn to stare at him, my eyes fixed trying to figure him out. He looks back at me, but cannot contain a smile. A laugh escapes me.

"You're making fun of me!" I say to him, laughing.

"Oh no, I'm not, I'd be much too frightened to tease a Senator." He says, looking down to pick apart more grass and flowers.

"You're so bad!" I say through laughter, throwing piles of picked apart flakes of grass and flowers at him.

I reach to the side and grab a piece of fruit and throw it at him, but he is quick to catch it. I grab more and more fruit and throw them his way, but he continues to catch them until he has an armful of fruit.

He then starts to juggle the fruit I've thrown at him. Laughing uncontrollably, I throw more and more fruit at him until he's bombarded with so many that he can't focus on juggling them anymore. He loses control and ducks, letting several pieces of the fruit fall on his head. We laugh together and look into each other's eyes, smiling.

"You're always so serious." He says to me in a serious tone himself.

"_I'm so serious?_" I shriek back at him, smiling.

"Yes! Stop talking about politics. Forget about it for a second. Just be yourself." He says.

I hear an echo of my mother's voice asking me why I haven't settled down yet. I hear her telling me how I'm missing so much of life. Maybe Anakin is right. Maybe I do need to let loose for once. Maybe I can, for a moment, forget about my duty.

My mind reminds me of the last time I lost myself in the moment, however: the kiss. Last time Anakin and I were just ourselves, we broke our moral and professional rules. Can I afford to let that happen again?

I look at him for a moment more, laughing. His eyes are on the flowers as he's picking them apart again. Yet, something in the way he looks today tells me that there's more to him than his Jedi status. There's more to the way he makes me feel that I like. I like being able to laugh over and over and have him laugh with me. I like being free of my duties and responsibilities. When I'm with him, I'm just Padme. I like that.

The smile on my face disappears and I look back down at the grass and flowers. Suddenly, the symphony of our love returns to my head. It's beautiful music. I close my eyes and all I can see are Anakin's lips meeting mine, and what would have happened, had I not broken our kiss apart.

"C'mon." He says, taking my hand and brining me to my feet.

Together, we run through the meadow, laughing in the warm, inviting sun, the waterfalls are our background. We approach a herd of shaaks grazing in the meadow.

Anakin approaches one slowly, but once close enough, yells like a fool at it and begins to wave his arms at its uncaring, lazy expression.

I laugh over and over and I watch Anakin go from the tough guy doing the yelling, to running in circles, being chased by the shaak.

One shaak crosses in front of me. It isn't until its pace quickens when I realize that Anakin is riding on top of it. He tries hard to hold on and keep his positioning, though he's facing backwards. He tries to stand up on the shaak, but it suddenly bucks and shakes him off, then running over him.

My initial reaction is laughter. It's funny how Anakin thought he was a pro at riding this beast of an animal. However, concern sweeps over me and I run to his aid, calling to him.

"Ani! Ani, are you alright?" I call to his body, lying face down in the grass.

I roll him over and see his face mimicking a very funny, contorted expression while laughing at me. I'm furious, but also not mad at all. I smack him on the chest, and go to take another swing, but he catches my arm. Struggling to break free, we laugh together and roll over in the grass. Our rolls turn into an embrace and we're there, I'm lying on top of him, looking into each other's eyes in the meadow surrounded by tall grass.

For a moment, neither of us moves. We then become aware of each other and the contact between us. We sit up, looking away for a brief moment, but this moment isn't as awkward as it used to be.

Anakin stands up and holds out his hand to me again. He helps me up off the ground and I notice how easy we react with each other. We're not self-conscious anymore. I can be myself around him, and I can see that he has no trouble being himself around me anymore.

He walks me over to another resting shaak, our hands still held together. We both scramble up onto its large backside, Anakin sitting in front of me. I wrap my hands tightly around his waist and lean my head against his back. He digs his heels into the shaak and it starts forward, carrying us through the meadow and back to the Lake Retreat.

I can now say that I appreciate Anakin's company here. He allows me to let go of myself. He allows me to feel less serious about myself. He allows me to laugh a little, and, well, fall in love.

Maybe I should blame it all on the setting. Is it my fault for developing these feelings when I chose to stay in a lakeside retreat and spend time in places that lend us to falling in love? It's very conducive here on Naboo for two people—any two people—to find these passionate feelings for each other. Is it our fault for conforming to this? Maybe I should stop worry and forget it all?

But I don't want to forget it anymore. I want to feel this way. I want to fall in love. I want to be here, with Anakin. And I want to roll with him on a grassy field, and I want to kiss him more on the garden terrace. Is that so wrong? Can I be selfish and fall in love myself when I have all these aspirations and all of these things I have to accomplish? I've tried to not let my emotions run away with myself. I've tried to be the more mature one. I've tried to be rational, but now I face this struggle to maintain some sanity in this overwhelming wave of chaos brought about by love. I try to fight back a tear that forms in my eyes as the Lake Retreat comes into view. But it runs down my cheek anyway, and the love theme continues to ring through my ears.


	17. Part 2: Dinner with Anakin

VIII

* * *

The warm sun is setting on the Lake Retreat. Anakin and I are getting ready for dinner in an open, romantic dining room. The room is lined with dark marble, which looks elegant, but the open walls that look out over the lake add brightness and emotion to the room. With the setting sun casting a red and pink glow to everything, it should be a beautiful dinner.

I pick out a dress I packed from home. It's a very tight, dark brown gown. When I slip into it and look in the mirror, I can see no trace of the fourteen-year-old Queen that Anakin was introduced to. I don't even see the twenty-four-year-old Senator anymore. I just see Padme, the individual, the woman in the form fitting dress, tight, leather corset, and exposed chest. I do my hair in a simple braid that hangs down my back. I wrap a heavy, feather cover-up across my upper chest for some added modesty. I don't want to look too imposing.

It isn't until I see the gown and study it in the mirror when I realize that I've dressed with the unconscious intention of dressing for Anakin.

"…And when I got to them, we went into…aggressive negotiations—thank you." Anakin says to me during our conversation at dinner. He takes a moment to thank the Naboo servant for bringing us more food.

"'A—aggressive negotiations?' What's that?" I ask, confused.

"Well, uh, negotiations with a lightsaber." He replies.

I feel a little embarrassed by my naivety, and cover it with a small laugh.

I pick up a fork to grab a piece of fruit, but it moves from me. I go to spear it with my fork another time, but it moves from me again. I try a third time, but once again, the fruit evades my fork.

I look up at Anakin, who is smirking down at his plate.

"Wait—you did that?" I gasp, smiling. He is so bad.

He looks up at me with innocent eyes, but underneath I can see he's ready to burst with laughter.

"I'm sorry M'Lady, I don't know what you're talking about." He says properly.

I know he was behind my moving food.

I scowl at him and make another attempt to grab the fruit. Suddenly, it moves off of the serving plate and hovers over my own plate. I imagine how foolish I probably look with a floating piece of fruit dangling around my face. I can see his hand subtly moving at his side, commanding which way to move the fruit.

"That! I know you're doing it! Stop it!"

We both laugh and when I try to reach for the fruit, yet again, it does loops and twirls in midair.

"Anakin!" I say, laughing.

He moves his fingers and the fruit gently glides through the air and into his hands.

He places it on his plate and grips his utensils. Is he about to eat my piece of fruit? If only I had Jedi powers too I would move it around his plate to confuse him.

"If Master Obi-Wan caught me doing this, he'd be very grumpy." He says to me with a smile, but he looks pleased with his display of abilities.

He cuts the fruit into several pieces and sends one back across the table to me. I meet it with my fork and take a bite, laughing at the situation, and smiling at him.


	18. Part 2: Fireside Conversation

IX

* * *

Following dinner, Anankin and I walk to a small sitting area in a corridor off of the dining room. It is a small, intimate room, with two small couches that face each other and an open hearth on the wall between. The fire lights the room in an amber glow.

Feeling the heat of the fire, I take off my feather cover-up and take a seat on the couch, closer to the fire. Anakin takes a seat next to me. I'm aware of how exposed and revealing my upper chest is despite my leather corset. He inches closer. I don't back away. The mood is comfortable, but it makes me wary.

I try to tell myself that staying here for this long was a good choice. For the hundredth time, in my head, I tell myself that being here is a good thing for us both, after all. It's everything I need it to be: remote, isolated, and secure. Anakin had no objection to being here. It made his job of keeping me safe easier. However, I simply couldn't clear my head of troubling thoughts questioning our priorities.

It was a perfect location for hiding, but it was also perfect for other reasons. In the few weeks we've been here, there's no denying it anymore: Anakin and I have fallen in love. I couldn't pretend not to see it anymore. And it was only getting worse the more time I spend with him, here, where I have so many childhood memories. I invited him into such a personal, deep part of my life. I can't deny that I care about him too. I do love him.

But once again, my conscience is telling me that I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't give in to my emotions. I have more important things to do.

Still, no matter how many times my reasoning tries to override my emotions, the emotions always win. That would explain why I felt so happy inside when I spent time with him. Or why I felt a swarm of butterflies in my stomach every time he turned the corner and came into a room. It would explain why our smiles were so infectious and why one couldn't hold back a smile if the other was smiling at them.

Every night I thought of our kiss. Every night I dreamt about not pulling away from him. Every night I dreamt of what could have happened. I couldn't erase the memory of the kiss if I tired.

I hear a rustle of moment to my side. Anakin inches closer to me. I look at him, and watch as he bends down towards me, his lips approaching mine. For a moment I don't back away. I don't want to, but for some unknown reason, I know I have to. I can't let this happen, not while I have so many conflicting thoughts running rampant through my mind. If I want to kiss Anakin, I want to know that I fully want it to happen. I want it to be the only thing on my mind. I do not want to have any objections running through my head.

I turn my head away from him and mutter sadly, "Anankin, no," even though I want it to happen.

He looks troubled. I see his eyes become glassy and fill with tears.

"From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you." He tells me, his voice shaky, without the confidence I had gotten used to him speaking with.

"And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you makes my stomach turn over—my mouth go dry. I feel dizzy and I—I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me."

He inches closer again, and this time, I inch away. Immediately regretting it, I look into his eyes, but then look away. I can't bear to have this conversation with him. I don't want it to happen like this.

"My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me. What can I do? I—I will do anything that you ask." He asks me.

I want to cry. I want to run back to my bedroom and sleep forever. He asked what he could do for me, and the only thing I want to tell him is to forget about our kiss. I want him to forget everything. I want him to forget about me and whatever it was we spent the past few weeks doing. If we aren't sure we can fall in love, then I do not think it should happen at all. I want us to go back to our normal lives and continue our jobs and professional duties.

"If you are suffering as much as I am, please tell me." He pleads, tears ready to fall from his eyes.

I turn back to him, but again, avert my eyes.

"I—I cant. We can't. It's just…not possible." I tell him.

"Anything is possible, Padme. Listen to me—" He begins, inching closer, but I cut him off and rise from the couch, evading his temptations.

"No, _you_ listen," I snap back at him, walking to the fire then turning around to speak to him. "We live in a real world. Come back to it. You're studying to become a Jedi, and I'm—I'm a Senator. If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion, it will take us to a place we cannot go…regardless of the way we feel about each other."

I hate having to be the one to put us both in our places, bring us back to reality. I hate having to be the adult.

"Then you do feel something!" He says back to me, as if to convince me that I have feelings for him.

Little does he know that I don't need convincing? Did he not hear anything else I had said?

"Jedi aren't allowed to marry. You'd be expelled from the Order. I will not let you give up your future for me." I tell him, trying to get it through his head that what we're doing isn't ethical. It isn't right. It's like I'm suddenly talking to a child instead of the handsome, young man sitting on the couch in front of me.

"You're asking me to be rational. That is something I know I cannot do. Believe me, I wish that I could just _wish_ away my feelings. But I can't." He rises from his chair as if he's going to turn this into an argument.

"I will not give in to this. I have more important things to do than fall in love." I say, wishing I hadn't.

I had been thinking that for weeks in my head. I didn't want to say it to him. I didn't want to tell Anakin that I had no time for love, but I'm losing sight of my priorities. There is a political crisis and if it escalates into anything more, I need to be ready for a return to the Capitol. I couldn't sit back and watch people die ten years ago. Regardless of assassins, I can't sit back and watch people die now. It doesn't matter anymore that I may _want_ to fall in love right now. I have a duty.

A moment of silence passes. Anankin moves for the door. Before he leaves, he stops, and turns to me, looking down at the floor.

"Well, you know, it…it wouldn't have to be that way. We could keep it a secret." He suggests.

"We'd be living a lie—one we couldn't keep even if we wanted to. My sister saw it. So did my mother. I couldn't do that. Could you, Anakin? Could you live like that?" I ask him.

"No. You're right. It would destroy us." He says under his breath after a long silence and leaves me alone in the dark room, lit only by the fire.

He leaves just in time for the tears to stream down my face. It was done. We would not fall in love. It was what I needed, and he agreed. I should be happy. But this wasn't the promise I needed from Anakin. I stand in the dark room alone for a while, shivering, despite the fire, wondering if I'll ever hear our symphony in my head again.


	19. Part 2: Contemplations

X

* * *

Restlessly, I turn over and over in my bed. I can't sleep. Nothing will make me sleep. I'll probably never be able to sleep again after the conversation I had mere hours ago with Anakin. My head is pounding and I can almost feel my broken heart shattering to pieces in my chest. I pound a fist onto the bed in anger. Why does our situation have to be so cruel? Why does falling in love have to be so complicated?

Frustrated, I climb out of bed and place a dressing cloak over my thin, white nightdress. I walk over to my open balcony and rest my arms on the bannister. The lake looks icy and frozen in the dark, midnight moonlight.

I try to replay everything over in my pulsating head. How had everything gone from so blissful and perfect to bitter and miserable so quickly? How had our love gone from blissful to miserable so fast?

All I can remember are tears, and crying over and over after he had left the room. Like our first kiss, I wonder what would have happened had I let him kiss me by the fire. I know I wanted him to. I know I wanted his lips on mine more than anything. Why did I back away? Why didn't I let him kiss me?

I back up from the bannister of the balcony and lean against the wall, dropping to the ground. My knees in my chest, I feel like staying here until sunrise. I can't imagine going to sleep. I can't imagine sleeping again.

I press my head up against the wall. My ear catches the sound of faint panicking. I stand up and immediately think of Anakin. I walk back into my room, where the walls between the rooms are thinner and try to listen for more noise.

Pressing my ear to the wall, I close my eyes and concentrate. Suddenly, I can hear him. He is breathing deeply, and heavily.

"No!" I hear him call in his sleep. He must be having another nightmare, like the one on the Spacefreighter.

"Mom! No! No! MOM! NO!" He yells.

A part of me wants to run to him. A part of me wants to go to him and wake him up and bring him back to reality. A part of me wants to lay with him, comfort him, and let him know everything is ok. But I know I can't. I know that after what happened between us, I would just be playing with both of our emotions. I couldn't let that happen. It would be worse for me to give him false hope that I had changed my mind. It would be inappropriate for a Senator to spend the night lying in bed, comforting her Jedi protector.

I bite my nails to keep my emotions contained. I stand there, listening to him through the wall, doing nothing. I lose track of time. I lose track of the world as I hear him scream. Before long I forget whether I've been there listening for ten minutes, twenty, or two hours.

The sunlight pours through my room and wakes me up. I am still against the wall, but this time I'm crouched down on the floor. At some point over night I must have dropped to the floor, still having the capacity to listen to Anakin screaming.

My tired eyes look out onto the lake. There is complete silence. I hear no birds chirping. I hear no one out on the lake itself. The wind is quiet. I press my ear to the door another time, but I don't hear anything. Anakin must be awake.

I adjust my hair and my royal dressing cloak and go out onto the larger balcony for some fresh air. It isn't until I move the curtains to my doorway aside that I find Anakin out on the balcony before me. He is standing in the center, overlooking the lake. His hands are behind his back, his legs spread more than shoulder length apart. The gentle morning breeze is rippling his thin, tawny shirt.

I walk closer to him but the closer I get, the more I can see that his eyes are closed; he must be meditating.

I turn away from him and slowly walk towards my doorway, back across the balcony, my feet making small tapping noises against the wet, concrete floor.

"Don't go." I hear his voice call to me.

I turn my head towards him. He didn't move at all. He didn't even open his eyes.

"I don't want to disturb you," is all I can think to say.

"Your presence is soothing." He replies.

I take this as a compliment, but knowing that I cannot stand there forever, I abruptly say to him, "You had another nightmare last night."

I see he opens his eyes, but continues a fixed, contemplative gaze out over the open lake.

"Jedi don't have nightmares." He replies coldly.

"I heard you." I retort. I know he cannot be happy with me after last night. I know I shouldn't have expected to come out here and find the same Anakin that went to a picnic in the meadows with me. I know I shouldn't have expected to find the same Anakin that flirtatiously teased me with dinner fruit. But a part of me still was not prepared to face an Anakin that was cold towards me; I was not ready for this rude, ignorant side of him, no matter how much I deserved it.

He turned to me and I could see all the pain and trouble in his bloodshot eyes. I know he was not troubled on my account. I know he was not crying over the previous night's events like I was.

I walk back over to him and we face each other. He looks pitiful, and I can only assume that he thinks the same of my eyes, which are now struggling to fight back the tears from over night.

"I saw my mother." He says before swallowing hard.

I can already tell that he won't be able to talk long without crying.

"I saw her as clearly as I see you now. She's suffering, Padme. They're killing her...she is in pain…" He finished in a desperate whisper.

I can't speak to save my life. I don't know what I could even say to comfort him. How could I, the woman who had just told him to stop loving me, comfort him and tell him all was going to be OK? Like last night, I fight the urge to hug him. I fight the urge to hold him in my arms and console him.

Suddenly he turns away from me and walks across the balcony. Can he really not bear to look at me this badly? He takes a deep, quivering breath, and approaches me again.

"I know I'm disobeying my mandate to protect you, Senator. I know I will be punished—possibly thrown out of the Jedi Order—but I have to go. I have to help her." He says, almost pleading with me.

"I'll go with you." I reply softly without thinking.

It isn't until I say it, and see the look of shock and hope in his eyes, that I realize what it is that I had said, what it is I had committed to. I'll be going with him. He won't be going alone. Honestly, I couldn't bear to see him do this alone. I had no choice but to go with him. Even though the words had come out so automatically, it was exactly what I was thinking and exactly what I wanted to say. I was now committed.

"You'll—you'll go with me?" He asks me in disbelief.

"Yes. I'll go with you. That way you can continue to protect me, and you won't be disobeying your mandate." I say to him, clarifying the situation and forcing him to believe that he would not be doing this alone.

"What about Master Obi-Wan?" He asks me.

My eyes relax, looking at him. The look in his eyes tells me that he's accepted the fact that we'll both be going together. He suddenly looks determined that he'll get to his mother. Hope returns to his eyes. But there was still that slight glimmer of worry about being caught on a planet other than the one he was assigned to. I feel the same worry. As much as he is ordered to be on Naboo, so am I. We are both taking a risk by leaving. But if it means helping Anakin, it's worth it. I owe it to him.

I take his hand and say to him, "I guess we won't tell him, will we?"

He gives me a slight smile, but I can see it twitching. He wants to cry. And suddenly he grabs me and brings me into his arms. We embrace and I hear him breath through quiet sobs.

I told myself I wouldn't hug Anakin. I told myself I wouldn't allow myself to embrace him, to give him false hope. But I have no choice now. It feels right to be in his arms. I know he needs me here. He needs me with him on Tatooine.

My mind finally registers the fact that we'll be going there together. It's been ten years, but Anakin and I will be back on the desert planet.

I close my eyes and clear my head. Even though we're standing on the balcony, wrapped in each other's arms, the symphony does not ring through my head.


	20. Part 3: Mos Espa

Part 3: Tatooine

* * *

_Fear makes people do rash things._

_Help should be offered to the fearful._

_I've seen Revenge before my eyes._

_Hate. Anger. Suffering._

_Help should be offered to the fearful,_

_For Fear makes people do rash things._

I

* * *

Our sleek, silver Naboo yacht cuts through space with ease. We'll be on Tatooine in no time. It's not that far of a journey from Naboo anyway. I look to my left and see Anakin in the other pilot's seat. He looks nervous. His hands are gripping the controls with tension. Tiny beads of sweat formulate on his forehead. His eyes are filled with worry and concern. It's as if the closer he gets to knowing the answers to his questions, the less he wants to discover them. His feelings and tremors in the Force are getting worse as well.

We land our starships in one of the sinkhole lots for ships like ours on the outskirts of Mos Espa. It's been ten years since I've been on Tatooine. From the aerial glimpse I got as we landed, I can already see that nothing has changed in that amount of time.

As we exit the Naboo yacht, the heat and humidity hit me like a tidal wave. I can see Anakin taken aback by the wave of heat too; apparently Tatooine is hotter and drier than both of us remembered. He too must be more used to cooler planets than he expects now that he's been away from these deserts for so long.

Once on the main streets, we wave down a small rickshaw to carry us through the streets. On the exterior, Anakin and I can both tell that nothing has changed. I peer out onto the streets from the depths of my billowing, scaly hooded cloak in shades of glistening silver and blue. It's both similar and drastically different to the people on the streets of Theed.

I watch as children of all different species run about, causing mischief, much like the children of Naboo. However, there's some gritty, dirty quality to these children that shows that this isn't a game for them like the kids of Theed—this is their life. This is how they make their earnings and provide for their families. I can't believe that there are worlds within the Republic that operate this way. I can't believe that at one point Anakin was one of these kids. I can't believe, had it not been for our injured ship seeking refuge here ten years ago, that he still could have been one now.

We ride down the sand-packed streets, passing by all the same, blocky buildings made from the earth and sand of the environment. I look to Anakin and study the expression on his face. He's scowling. His entire, painful childhood must be coming back to him—his life of slavery and labor. I imagine he feels as though he never left.

Finally, Anakin tells the rickshaw to stop. I look around and feel as though I'm fourteen again, walking towards the same building with Master Qui-Gon and Jar Jar. Anakin looks as though he could have walked to this spot with his eyes closed, even after ten years.

He steps out of the rickshaw and extends a hand to me as I step off and onto the hard, sandy ground, my cloak billowing in my wake.

"Wait here," Anakin says to the droid driving the carrier. It beeps back a response of confirmation to us.

We walk to the building and see the unmistakable figure of Watto sitting on a stool outside his own shop. From the looks of his haggard, disheveled appearance, these ten years were not favorable to him.

He is yelling at a few surrounding pit droids who seem to be trying to help him put together some mechanical objects. Judging by what he is yelling in his Toydarian dialect, and his grimace, I think the efforts of the pit droids are just making the situation worse. He looks angry and bitter.

"No chuba da wanga, da wanga!" I hear him yelling to his helpers, as we get closer to him.

"Chut, chut, Watto." Anakin says to him.

Watto looks shocked and skeptical. He looks Anakin up and down with narrow, untrusting eyes. The pit droids run off as if in fear.

"Ke Booda?" He asks with bitterness.

"Di nova, 'chut, chut,'" Anakin says back, as if asserting some kind of power. Judging by the conversation, I'm guessing Anakin is asserting his greeting to Watto, who distrusts Anakin's presence totally. I don't believe he even recognizes him yet.

He turns to the pit droids who are running about.

"Go ana bopa!" He says to them, then turning back to Anakin as they shut down and fall silent.

"Ding me chasa hopa." Anakin says with a smirk, bending down and picking up the mechanical contraption Watto had been struggling to mend.

Watto's eyes narrow even more as he watches Anakin fiddling with his objects. Flies and insects buzz around his unshaven, sloppy face; his mouth hangs open, and his few, yellowed teeth are visible.

Suddenly, he blinks in surprise, realizing that Anakin is a Jedi, but still oblivious to the fact that it's Anakin.

"Ke booda? Yo baan pee hota. No wega mi condorta. Kin chasa—du Jedi! No bata! No tu tu! Arrghh!" Watto blabbers on in Huttese before dropping a screwdriver on his foot, cursing loudly.

I assume he realizes Anakin is a Jedi and is trying to convince him that he is innocent of anything Anakin is here to accuse him for—typical behavior for such a slippery, shady businessman and gambler.

"Mi boska di Shmi Skywalker." Anakin mutters to him, just before placing the perfectly assembled, fixed object down on the stool in front of Watto.

He looks from Anakin to me and back to Anakin again. Suddenly, it clicks. His wings give a slight flutter and he jumps with a start.

"Ani? Little Ani? Naaaahhh…" He mutters in disbelief.

The little mechanical objects burst to life, whizzing around and beeping appropriately.

Watto blinks with surprise. His wings come to life and he begins to hover just above his stool.

"You are Ani! It is you! Hah! You sure sprouted, huh? Weehoo! A Jedi! Waddaya know?" He sounds genuinely happy and proud to see such improvement and growth in Anakin now from when he last saw him.

Before long, his inner gambler comes out and he offers, "Hey, maybe you couldda help wit some deadbeats who owe me a lotta money…"

Anakin looks angry and annoyed. How dare he be so selfish when Anakin owes him nothing?

"My mother…" Anakin asserts through gritted teeth.

Watto suddenly looks nervous. He scratches the back of his head and says with a grimace, "Oh, yeah. Shmi. She's, uh, not mine no more. I sold her."

"Sold her?" Anakin asks with a look of terror.

"Years ago! Sorry Ani, but you know, business is business, huh? I sold her to a moisture farmer named, uh, Lars. Least I think it was Lars. Believe it or not, I heard he freed her! And married her! Can ya beat that eh?" Watto says, attempting to see the right throughout his wrongs.

Anakin looks worried.

"Do you know where they are now?" He asks with concern.

"Oh, long way from here. Some place over on the other side of Mos Eisley, I think…" Watto replies.

"I'd like to know." Anakin says again through gritted teeth, this time a hint of anger is mixed with his assertion. I can tell that his look means business.

Watto apparently gets the hint. He fumbles with his hands for a moment, and then says with a nervous smile, "Yeah…sure! Absolutely! Let's go looks at my records."

And without hesitation, Watto takes off into his shop, Anakin following closely behind.

I study the scene outside for a moment. There are so many shady looking gangsters and traders in this city. I feel happy, for a moment, that Shmi was able to escape this life. Ten years ago, this city did not seem this vile. These ten years have not treated Tatooine well, seeing this increased amount of crime lords and gamblers who have taken their businesses to the streets.

Afraid of being alone for too long here, I rush into the shop, sticking close to Anakin.


	21. Part 3: The Homestead

II

* * *

It did not take long for Watto to give us the location of Shmi's new home. Before long, we were back in the Naboo starship, rising from the underground parking lot and taking off for the outskirts of Mos Eisley.

By late afternoon, our small ship had made its way from the slime hole of Mos Espa to the outskirts of a small homestead off of the city.

The ship descends to land, hovering for a moment, and then gently lands on the flat expanse of land around the homestead.

Anakin and I exchange glances. For some reason, he looks more nervous than happy. I give him a look of comfort and place my hand on top of his.

We both rise from our seats in the starship and head to the exit ramp.

"Stay with the ship, Artoo." I say to Artoo, wrapping my big, heavy cloak back around my body and pulling the hood over my head again. He whistles and beeps a small response and remains fixed in his position in the cockpit.

Anakin and I start down the trail that leads to the homestead. He looks more and more nervous the closer we get. Even though he is finally about to see his mother again, there is something that is troubling him. I can see it in his face. He's desperately searching for a sign of her even from such a great distance.

We get close enough to a condenser in the ground and see a human-shaped droid standing nearby working on it. It looks fragile and skeletal, with dark wires crisscrossing and wrapping over each other.

The droid looks up at us, as if to greet us. As soon as it looks at us with its metallic, illuminating eyes, I can already hear him before he begins.

"Oh, hello. How might I be of service? I am See…"

"Threepio?" Anakin finishes, grinning at his old friend and creation.

It has been ten years, but C-3PO looks just as he did when we last saw him. He may be the only thing in the galaxy that didn't change.

Funnily enough, Threepio studies us for a moment, as if searching through his vast, computerized mind for our faces to match to an identity.

"Oh, my," Threepio says suddenly, cocking his head to one side, "Oh, the maker! Oh Master Anakin! I knew you would return. I knew it! And Miss Padme!"

I'm startled that he remembers me, even under this large hood, since I hadn't spent nearly as much time with him as Anakin had.

"Hello, Threepio," I reply, smiling.

Even though his metal face is fixed, it seems as if he's smiling the broadest smile I've ever seen.

"Bless my circuits! I'm so pleased to see you both!" He says ecstatically, his head bouncing around on his neck joints.

"I've come to see my mother." Anakin replies, walking past Threepio.

Threepio freezes in motion, as if the smile was just wiped from his face. He looks suddenly grim and speechless. Anakin's eyes narrow when his droid does not automatically respond.

"I think…I think…Perhaps we better go indoors." Threepio says.

A wave of worry passes over me as well. Where is Shmi? Why can't Threepio take us right to her? Why did she not rush out to see her son? She must have seen us land the ship.

The three of us walk down the steps made from the ground to a courtyard within the homestead. Threepio is shuffling in front of us.

"Master Owen, might I present two most important visitors?"

A man and women in their early twenties come out into the courtyard. They are wearing clothes that remind me very much of the wardrobe Shmi and Anakin wore when they were citizens of the planet, years ago.

"I'm Anakin Skywalker." He says to the man, who is of equal height, though he has a stockier build than Anakin. His scratches his unshaven face and studies Anakin and his wardrobe for a moment. He fits the type of a Tatooine farmer—quiet and reserved.

"Own Lars," He answers, shaking Anakin's hand. "And this is my girlfriend, Beru."

The girl turns to us and mutters, "Hello."

She looks very passive and pleasant. Her tight, blond braids were wrapped neatly around her head.

"I'm Padme." I say, introducing myself.

Owen turns to Anakin, "I guess I'm your stepbrother. I had a feeling you might show up some day."

He gives Anakin a small, courteous smile.

Anakin looks perturbed. He passes by, walking around the courtyard for a moment. I know what he's thinking. He's wondering why his mother hasn't come out to greet him yet. He's searching for some sign of her in this home. Where could she be? I'm beginning to get nervous myself.

Something is wrong. Between Threepio's bothered reaction, to the absence of Shmi's motherly joy, Anakin and I both can see that something had happened that Watto was unaware of when he led us here. Anakin looks both frightened and torn. He wants answers. He wants to know what happened. But he's afraid of what he may hear. He's afraid of hearing the worst.

"Is my mother here?" Anakin asks, finally, as if he cannot waste any more time on meaningless, polite conversation.

"No, she's not," a low, grumbling voice mutters from behind.

A small, floating chair carries an aged, tattered man out to the courtyard. The man is larger than Owen, but bears an uncanny resemblance. One of his legs was wrapped heavily in bandages, covered in layers and layers of new bandages. The other leg was missing entirely. Balancing on his floating chair, he extends a hand out to Anakin.

"Cliegg Lars. Shmi is my wife. You better come inside. We have a lot to talk about…" He says darkly, avoiding looking Anakin in the eyes.

We all assemble around a table in the small dining area. Beru emerges from the kitchen carrying several glasses like a warm hostess.

I take off my cloak, revealing my underdress, feeling awkward. It is a loose fitting, light blue dress. Like the dress I wore to visit my parents, this ensemble is in two pieces, as well. The top, is wrapped crisscrossed over my upper chest, and flips back to an ornately decorated cape that hangs to my lower back. Two oversized sleeves cover my arms, and a matching blue skirt hangs from my waist to my feet decorated with a glistening, silver buckle. My abdomen and waist are open in the hot, humid air.

I have decorated my hair similar to the way it was decorated for my meadow picnic with Anakin. A silver, metal headpiece is fastened to my head, while my thick, curly hair is bunched into the headpiece fittingly.

My ensemble makes me feel strange and out of place, surrounded by these natives wearing their tan, sandy colored garbs.

"It was just before dawn. They came out of nowhere. A hunting party of Tusken Raiders." Cleigg begins, grimly.

Tusken Raiders. I remember them from the Anakin's podrace ten years ago. They had camped out on the canyon sections of the track, hoping to sabotage the race by firing at any pods they could hit. They were the wretched nomads of Tatooine. They were barbarians. Even the most vicious scoundrels, smugglers, and thieves in the cities of Tatooine would flee in fear of the Tusken Raiders.

Beru sets the drinks of the table. Everyone takes one, but Anakin. He looks frozen, frightened. I know he's assuming the worst already.

"Your mother had gone out early like she always did, to pick mushrooms that grow on the vaporators. From the tracks, she was just about home when…they took her." Cleigg said with a troubled look. Retelling the story truly bothered him.

"Those Tuskens walk like men, but they're vicious, mindless monsters." He adds, easing a pain in his leg.

I can't even process the things he is saying to Anakin. It's truly horrific. How long had it been? Had we left earlier, would we have been able to get here before she was taken? Anakin looks as though he's not even listening. I can't blame him. I can't imagine hearing a story about barbarians kidnapping my mother from a complete stranger. The thought of my own mother going missing makes my eyes fill with tears. Shmi was all Anakin ever had. All he wanted to do was see her one more time, show her how he had grown, make her proud of what he had accomplished.

"Thirty of us went out after her. Four of us came back. I'd be out there with them, only…after I lost my leg, I just couldn't ride anymore…until I heal." Cleigg finishes.

Beru clings to Owen. Recounting story must be painful for her to hear too. Shmi was such a wonderful woman. She had touched the lives of so many people. Even her two stepchildren, who she hadn't spent nearly as much time with as her own son, had felt the impact of her tragic, untimely absence.

After a long moment of silence, Cleigg looks back to Anakin, who is looking down, probably studying the thought of his mother being taken away by those animals.

"This isn't the way I wanted to meet you, son. This isn't how your mother and I planned it. I don't want to give up on her. But she's been gone a month. There's little hope she's lasted this long."

_A month?_ I repeat in my head. My mouth drops open and I look around the table. Cleigg has an expression of hopeless grief. Owen looks as if all efforts have been lost. He's accepted the defeat. Beru sits, her head resting on Owen's shoulder, a tear running down her cheek.

I give Anakin a sympathetic look, but before I can place my hand on his leg in comfort, he abruptly stands up.

I can see what he's thinking. He won't accept the fact that his mother is dead. He won't sit here and allow himself to not see her while he's this close. I could tell that his heart was now filled with ice. He had no love inside of him anymore. Only pain, and hurt. His nightmares have come true. His mother really was in pain. His mother really was dying.

"Where are you going?" Owen asks him, seeing him rise from his chair.

"To find my mother." Anakin replies, convinced that his mother really is out there somewhere waiting for him.

I cannot hold back my objection.

"No, Ani!"

I realize that I truly have no say in his actions. I cannot imagine being in his situation. I would go in search of her too, I suppose. But I cannot imagine seeing Anakin go out by himself to the camps where those mongrels dwell.

"Your mother's dead, son. Accept it." Cleigg tells him with honest reality.

But I know Anakin is not so foolish. Anakin will not accept it.

"I can feel her pain. I know she is out there. I will find her. I will." He says to all of us at the table.

We all stare at him for a moment. I feel tears forming in my eyes. I can't bear to think of him going out there.

"Take my speeder bike." Owen offers.

Anakin nods in thanks.

"I know she's alive." Anakin says before turning abruptly.

Despite the story and what Cleigg wants to believe, Anakin is convinced that Shmi is alive and out there somewhere to be rescued.

We sit and watch as he leaves the dining area, and goes out to the courtyard, his dark Jedi robe cast an ominous shadow from the hot, setting suns.


	22. Part 3: Padme's Goodbye

III

* * *

I get up out of my chair and run after him, my dress rippling as I take off. As I reach the top step and come into the hot, burning sunlight, I see him standing there, looking out at the horizon on the flat expanse of desert land.

Anakin turns to me when I approach him.

I want to say something—anything—to him. I want to ask him to let me come with him. I want to ask him one more time to stay here and not go. I desperately want to be with him. But he speaks before I do.

"You're going to have to stay here. These are good people, Padme. You'll be safe." He says to me.

I don't protest. I know I will be safe here. I know I have to be safe here. I know I have to be here for him when he comes back. If it's too late for Shmi, I'll be all he has; I'll be all he's coming back for.

I cannot object to him now. I know he's afraid I'll argue. I know he thinks I'll continue to protest until the very bitter end. But I know this is what he needs to do. I know this is what he wants, and I cannot put myself in this kind of danger.

"Anakin…" I say softly, and wrap my arms around him.

I cannot say anymore. I hold him for a moment, hoping to crack the ice that has taken over his heart. I want to bring him back to me. I want his heart to yearn for me again. I want him to be the happy, loving Anakin again. I have to save him from himself.

He breaks off the hug before I want him to. He looks deeply into my eyes.

"I won't be long." He says, turning and swooping onto the speeder bike.

I back up slowly from him, wiping tears from my eyes. The engine fires and he takes off across the flat, desert plane. I watch him ride off, until he is only a small, black dot on the horizon, the symphony of our love chorusing through my head.


	23. Part 3: Midnight

IV

* * *

I change into a simple, light blue garment for overnight at the homestead. Over the thin dress, I don a heavy smock made of thick, tweed material. It is primarily dark blue, although it is interwoven with colorful designs representing the primitive worlds I've traveled to years before. The rainbow embroidery and tassels give a fresh, free look that fits in with the desert environment of Tatooine. I feel more natural in this dress. I feel more fitting in the environment. The smock's loose fitting shape helps keep me cool in the heat, but also provides me with protection from the irritating sand.

My hair hangs down; I don't bother to arrange it in a type of headdress. Right now, my hands are too shaky, my mind to preoccupied with worry.

The full moon shines brightly down into the courtyard. I pace back and forth, unable to sleep. I cannot think about anything other than Anakin and hoping he comes back to me safely.

I freeze in motion when I hear an animal howling off in the distance. I know it cannot be Anakin this soon. A shiver of fear passes through me. I turn and head towards the garage, just off of the courtyard.

"Hello, Miss Padme." Threepio addresses me.

He is working on some sort of speeder bike still in the garage.

"Hello, Threepio." I reply, my voice shaky and troubled.

"You cannot sleep?" He asks me. I appreciate his concern. I want to laugh, but cannot find it within myself to smile.

"No," I begin, looking at him kindly, "I just have too many things on my mind, I guess."

"Are you worried about your work in the Seante?" He asks me.

This time a small, laugh escapes me. It is remarkable that he is able to remember my occupation and my duties after ten years. Sometimes I do forget that I'm talking to a droid. Threepio is so life-like, so perfect, just like he was ten years ago.

"No, I'm just concerned about Anakin. I may have said things…I'm afraid I may have hurt him. I don't know. Maybe I only hurt myself. For the first time in my life, I'm confused." I say to him, trying to recount my feelings about him. Everything my mother told me, everything Sola had said, and everything that had happened between Anakin and me on Naboo is finally coming together in my head. I cannot keep living my life this way. I cannot keep putting things behind me now that they're affecting other people. I cannot keep my focus on my job when I'm hurting Anakin through it all.

"I'm not sure it will make you feel any better, Miss Padme, but I don't believe there's been a time in my life when I haven't been confused." He says to me. For some reason, this is remarkably comforting, though it's coming from the mouth of a droid.

"I want him to know I care about him. I _do_ care about him. I love him." I say for the first time out loud.

I really do feel that way about him. For the first time in a while, I consider my life, and putting relationships and a family above my career and occupation. The Separatists don't matter anymore. I care too much about other things, now. I owe too much to other people. I owe too much to myself.

"Don't worry about Master Ani. He can take care of himself. Even in this awful place." Threepio says to me.

I smile at him because even though he is trying to comfort me, his droid mentality is showing through. He doesn't understand that I'm talking about love. He thinks I'm concerned about Ani's safety overnight while on the hunt for his mother. Something about his efforts is precious.

I look around and see a few pieces of metal and pipes that look like they can fit Threepio appropriately.

"Threepio, are these _coverings_ for you on the ground over there?" I ask him.

"Why, yes. Yes, I believe that is what they are for. Master Ani had given his mother the task of giving me coverings, but over time, she had gotten preoccupied and never got around to covering up my wires." He says almost sadly.

"Well, why don't I do it for you, now. I'll help you get your coverings on. We'll surprise Ani when he gets back." I say with a smile, hoping spending time with Threepio will take my mind off of things.

I pick up a piece in the exact shape of his face. I take it over to him, and snap it into position, fastening it to his skeletal frame. His eyes light up and he looks at me.

"It's perfect." I tell him, grabbing another gray piece of treated metal, and fasten it to his body.


	24. Part 3: Padme and Beru

V

* * *

Morning sun pours through the courtyard. Threepio's coverings are fully assembled and fastened to his exterior. Beru and Owen come out to the courtyard and see the work that has been done to the protocol droid.

"He looks wonderful!" Beru exclaims, smiling and clasping her hands together.

"I didn't know if you had planned on giving him the coverings any time soon. I couldn't sleep last night, and when I found the pieces were all ready to be put on him. I figured I would just do it to keep myself busy." I explain to the couple.

"Well, thank you. He truly does look great." Owen says, looking at Threepio with wonderment.

Threepio holds his new head high with pride. If he were human, he would surely be blushing right now.

A low rumbling breaks the early silence and brings life back into my tired, weary body. Anakin must be returning.

Owen, Beru, and I exchange glances quickly. I don't know if Anakin's return will bring good news or bad news.

"He's here." I say to the two of them.

I rush up, out of the courtyard just in time to see Anakin stopped in front of the homestead on the speeder bike. He swings off of it and looks me in the eye.

For a moment, I think,_ He's all right!_

However, his dark, empty eyes glare through me as he turns and I see what he grabs from the back of the speeder bike.

Shmi's body, wrapped in cloths and bound together for safety, is being carried in his arms. Anakin looks dangerous and in pain. Was he really all right after all? Would he ever be all right again?

Cleigg emerges from within the homestead and moves his chair over to Anakin. The two exchanged looks. Anakin paused before him, his mother's dead body is in his arms. It's a painful moment. A few tears fall from my eyes and they pause to one another and understand what had happened without saying a word.

Anakin carries the body off and disappears to a small workroom in the homestead by himself.

It is a long time before I go near the door of the workroom. I hadn't tried to go in. I know Anakin wants to be alone. As much as I want to see him, I know I cannot go in without purpose.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about him. I know he is in pain behind that closed door. Every time I pass by, I can hardly imagine what is going through his head, what emotions he must be feeling.

I go to the kitchen to prepare a meal for him—maybe that will get me in that workroom.

When I get to the kitchen, Beru is there.

"Will you help me prepare a tray of food for Anakin? He must be starving." I say to her.

She smiles at me and gives a gentle nod before bending down and getting a tray and several other supplies from a nearby cabinet.

"What's it like there?" She says.

I turn around to face her.

"I'm sorry?" I ask with a slight laugh.

"On Naboo. What's it like there?" She asks me with an amazed expression, while continuing to prepare the food for Anakin.

The question takes me completely by surprise. I didn't expect her to ask me about Naboo in my wildest dreams. I'm so focused on seeing Anakin that I'm almost at a loss for words as to what to tell her.

"Oh—it's…very green. With lots of water. And a lot of trees, too. Not like here at all." I do my best to reply to her, but realize that I'm probably just blabbering.

"I think I like it better here." Beru says to me. If at all possible, I'm taken aback even more. I can't imagine anyone liking this desert wasteland more than the lush, beautiful Naboo with its thriving nature and fresh, clean air.

"Maybe you'll come and see it someday." I reply, suggesting that she shouldn't judge it without having ever been there before.

"I don't think so. I don't like to travel." Beru says to me with an odd smile, as she finishes preparing the tray of food. I can only imagine how tense the sight of our Naboo starship must be making her.

"Thank you for putting the coverings on C-3PO. He looks wonderful." She adds.

"Oh, it was nothing. Like I said, I needed something to preoccupy my mind while I was worrying about Anakin." I tell her.

"Take him with you, when you leave—Threepio, I mean. He's Anakin's creation anyway." Beru offers.

I smile, accepting her gift.

"I hope everything is ok. I see the way you care about him. And I see the way he cares about you, too. You two make such a good couple. How long have you two been together?" She asks.

My eyes widen when I hear what she says. She, like so many others, assumes Anakin and I are a couple. However, this time, I don't protest. I don't deny what she says. I just let it pass by as any other comment.

I wrap my arms around her and give her a warm, appreciative embrace. Beru is honestly a very nice woman despite the differences I see in our personalities. But I'm sure she is a valuable member of the homestead. I'm sure she'll make a great wife to Owen someday. And I'm sure she'll make a good mother to children someday too.

"Thank you, Beru. For everything." I say gratefully, taking the tray from her, giving her a genuine smile and heading for Anakin and the closed workroom door.


	25. Part 3: Anakin's Fury

VI

* * *

Approaching the door, a swarm of butterflies take flight in my stomach. I grow suddenly nervous to see Anakin. I enter the room slowly and quietly, trying to startle or annoy Anakin while he is in such a fragile state.

"I brought you something." I say softly to him.

As I enter the room, I can see that he is concentrating hard on repairs to small parts with a welder. He doesn't look up at me. He doesn't turn to face me.

"Are you hungry?" I ask gently.

He stays bent down on the workbench.

"The shifter broke. Life seems so much simpler when you're fixing things." He replies in a tense voice that is not his own. "I'm good at fixing things…always was. But I—I couldn't…" He trails off.

He stops working and slams the pieces down on the bench. He turns to face me, finally, and I can see the tears collecting in his eyes.

"Why'd she have to die?" He demands. "Why couldn't I save her? I know I could have!"

I look at him sympathetically. I haven't even said anything, and already the sensitive, temperamental beast within him is awakened.

"Sometimes there are things no one can fix. You're not all-powerful Ani." I say gently, but he cuts me off.

"Well, I should be!" He says, his face tightening, "Someday I will be. I will be the most powerful Jedi ever." He yells at me angrily. His voice is shaky, his mouth trembling. "I promise you. I will even learn to stop people from dying."

"Anakin…" I say, trying to calm him down. He's emitting so many emotions right now: hurt, anger, hatred, pain, and fear. It's making me feel just as frightened as he may be. His promises sound dangerous and evil. I know he's saying these things impulsively, but the thought of him actually believing in these promises is not the Ani I know.

"It's all Obi-Wan's fault. He's jealous. He's holding me back!" He says, grabbing his wrench and throwing it across the room. The clanking noise rings through my ears and I tremble where I stand for a moment. I don't know whether to approach him or keep my distance. He really is dangerous right now, looking down at his own hands in shock and disbelief.

Suddenly I can see that this isn't about his mother anymore. Her death was just the final straw for his emotions. Everything he's been bottling up, between feeling suppressed by the Jedi, being held back from showing his emotions around me…I can see all of his troubles being revealed to me now.

This is not the Anakin that I spent time with on Naboo. This is not the Anakin that ran around the fields with me, smiling from ear to ear, chasing animals through the grass. This is not the Anakin that kissed me, that held me, that made me feel safe. In seeing this, I realize that he needs me too. He needs me to bring that side of him back. He needs me to comfort him and bring back that happy, hopeful Anakin.

"What's wrong, Ani?" I ask, trying to calm him down.

He turns away from me again and hangs his head. A few audible sobs escape him.

"I—I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead. Every single one of them." He says through gritted teeth.

I feel suddenly cold. His eyes fix on me and he looks at me as though he is just returning from years apart. The look scares me, and I take a step back away from him, avoiding the distant, unfamiliar look in his eyes.

"And not just the men," he continues, "but the women…and the children too. They're like animals. And I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them!" He cries desperately. He sounds enraged and deranged, but also pathetic.

He breaks down and drops to the ground.

I walk over to him and hold him in my arms. I can't explain why I do it, but I do. I need to be his saving grace and bring him back to his true heart. Setting aside whatever fear or shock I feel for him at the moment, I know he needs to be in my arms first and foremost right now.

Part of me is still in shock. Women and children. How could my Anakin have killed women and children who probably had no involvement in the capture and kidnapping of his mother? The children had nothing to do with Shmi's death, but they would someday grow up to follow in their elder's footsteps. It was Shmi now, but the children could be the ones to capture Owen and Beru or their children tomorrow.

Did this make it right? Is this justifiable for him to slaughter them? I cannot say. I'm forced to believe it's not. All of my life I've believed that killing was senseless and ruthless behavior. I thought so when Dorme was killed, I thought so when Naboo was being invaded by the Trade Federation. But would I have killed if it were to avenge the deaths of my parents, or Sola, or her children? I can't answer that. It makes me feel too savage.

"Why do I hate them? I didn't…I couldn't…I couldn't control myself. I—I don't want to hate them, but I just can't forgive them for taking her—for killing her…my _mother_." He sobs in my arms.

"To be angry is to be human." I say to him, stroking his hair, trying to calm him down.

He backs away and looks into my eyes. His eyes are red and full of tears.

"To control your anger is to be a Jedi." He defends.

Is that what this is all about? He's afraid they'll tell him he cannot be a Jedi anymore because he let his anger get the best of him? The problem is that even Master Yoda is not that much of a superhuman that he cannot suppress his extreme feelings in extreme situations. When such horrible things like this happen, would Obi-Wan or even Master Windu have acted any differently? More importantly, Anakin knows he has done wrong. He knows he let his emotions get the best of him. How can they not forgive him for this?

I pull him back into my arms and whisper to him, "Ssshhh…you're human."

But he pulls back again and looks at me.

"No, I'm a Jedi. I know I'm better than this. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" He continues to weep as I rock him back and forth in my arms, wiping the tears from his face, right where he needs to be.


	26. Part 3: Tatooine Funeral

VII

* * *

It did not take long for Owen and the homestead droids to dig the grave for Shmi's body. By early afternoon, her body had been placed in the ground and a small, burial ceremony had been arranged to take place under the hot, blazing sun.

I dressed for the occasion in a white, skin-tight jumpsuit. The top has long sleeves with decorative, metal armbands on each of my upper arms. I'm wearing matching white pants that are tucked into sand-colored boots that rise to just below my knees. I place a utility belt that matches my boots around my waist. Beru gives me one more gift when we meet together before the burial: a sand colored cape that wraps around my chest and hangs down to my knees in the back.

I wrap my hair into tiny, tight loops that intertwine upon themselves. It is a small hairdo and hangs no lower than my head. No excess hair falls down to my back this time. It's as if I'm sporting a simple, tight bun on the back of my head made of these tightly looping fixtures of my hair.

The congregation of us gathers outside the homestead and to a small burial ground. Three headstones are set into the ground. The center one, bigger than the other two, sits above a plot of freshly packed ground—this is Shmi's grave.

I stand in between Threepio and Anakin. Owen and Beru are on the other side of Anakin, off to my left. Cleigg moves his chair up to Shmi's grave and quietly mourns.

"I know, wherever you are, that it has become a better place for you. You were the most loving partner a man could ever have. Goodbye, my darling wife. And thank you." He says before tears break off his moving eulogy.

I begin to see flashing images of Cleigg and Shmi during the happy beginnings of their relationship—whenever that may have been. I see them happily laughing to each other in the courtyard of the homestead. I see the smiling face of Shmi and she and Beru prepare dinner for the happy family. I see her talking to Cleigg as they watch the twin suns set—presumably telling him all about Anakin, and the day in which he'll return to Tatooine for her.

Anakin takes a step forward after a brief pause and approaches his mother's grave. I can't imagine what must be going through his head right now. Tears form in my eyes imagining Cleigg and Shmi's short-lived, happy time together. I cannot bear to imagine the thought of Shmi's emotional, ecstatic face, had she been here for Anakin's return.

He drops to his knees and picks up a handful of sand fresh from the top of her grave.

"I wasn't strong enough to save you, Mom. I wasn't strong enough. But I promise, I won't fail again." He mutters and my eyes fill with tears hearing him mourn.

He then whispers, "I miss you so much." And I am sure I was the only one near enough to him to hear it.

There is silence for a long moment. The sun beats down on us, but it's as if we are protected from its unbearable heat. No one wants to leave. No one wants to end this simple burial. No one wants to take the son away from his mother's grave.

Anakin and I expect to leave soon, and it cannot be easy knowing that he'll never have a reason for coming back. He'll never be here again. He'll never have to. The moment he leaves Tatooine, he must go back to his Jedi duties.

Suddenly, a series of beeps and whistles break the silence. I turn on the spot and see Artoo wheeling up behind us.

"Artoo? What are you doing here?" I ask the small droid as he rolls up to where we stand.

He continues to beep and whistle and it is Threepio who turns to Anakin and I and translates for us.

"It seems that he is carrying a message from an _Obi-Wan Kenobi_. Master Ani, does that name mean anything to you?"

Anakin rises to his feet. He and I exchange glances and look back to Threepio uncertainly. Yes, that name means a lot to us. Contact from him can only mean two things: answers or trouble. And knowing Obi-Wan the way we both do, it could very well be both.


	27. Part 3: Obi-Wan's Message

VIII

* * *

The four of us leave the homestead and say farewell to the Lars family, albeit abruptly. However, Obi-Wan's message brings an alarming amount of severity to us. Does he know where we are? Does he know what we've been up to? What kind of things has he discovered for us?

I take off the heavy cape and take a seat in one of the two control chairs. A rough hologram image of Obi-Wan appears before us, standing with his hands buried in the depths of his cloak. He looks to either side repeatedly, as if making sure he is not being watched.

"Anakin, my long range transmitter has been knocked out. Retransmit this message to Coruscant." His image says.

I turn away and move to a control board and press a button that will do as he requests. Hastily, I move back to the image of Obi-Wan, waiting for him to begin, eager to hear every word he has to say to us.

"I have tracked the bounty hunter Jango Fett to the droid foundries of Geonosis. The Trade Federation is to take delivery of a droid army here and it is clear that Viceroy Gunray is behind the assassination attempts on Senator Amidala." Obi-Wan explains slowly.

_I knew it_. I knew that slimeball Nute Gunray had something to do with wanting me dead. He is still bitter about how I was able to defeat him and his plans to take over my planet when I was only fourteen. A fire of rage is lit inside of me. More than him wanting me assassinated, this also confirms that he is part of the Separatists, and that they do pose a threat to us if they get their hands on a full, droid army.

"The Commerce Guilds and the Corporate Alliance have both pledged their armies to Count Dooku and are forming a…wait—wait!" He says, but his message is cut off. He ignites his lightsaber, but has fallen under attack and moves out of the hologram. A Federation rolling droid is seen walking across the image, firing at Obi-Wan who can no longer be seen.

Anakin and I look to each other in disbelief. Anakin wants to press buttons in an effort to try to contact his Master again, but it would be a useless attempt. Obi-Wan would not answer. Who knows where he is right now?

For a moment, nothing happens. I can only think about how right I had been all along about Dooku and Gunray, and their thirst for my blood on their hands.

Suddenly, the small hologram of Master Windu appears before us.

"Anakin, we will deal with Count Dooku. The most important thing is to stay where you are. Protect the Senator at all costs. That is your first priority." He commands sternly.

Anakin is left with no choice but to answer him, "Understood, Master."

The hologram switches off and I move my seat over to look at the readout on the ship's control panel.

"They'll never get there in time. They have to come halfway across the galaxy. Look," I say, pointing to the small view screen that shows a layout of the planet. "Geonosis is less than a parsec away."

I press a number of buttons, flick several switches, and suddenly I feel Anakin's hand on top of mine, stopping me from further investigating our locations as opposed to Master Windu's location on Coruscant.

"If he's still alive." He says, grimly.

I can't believe he would choose to sit here and do nothing. He's practically offering Obi-Wan up as bait. He's our friend, not a piece of meat. Anakin had the opportunity to save his mother, but unfortunately it was too late. Now Obi-Wan is in danger, and I'm not about to see the same thing happen to someone who is a close friend to both of us.

"Ani, are you just going to sit here and let him die? He's your friend, your mentor—"

"He's like my father," He finishes, as if that was what I was going to say to him next. "But you heard Master Windu, he gave me strict orders to stay here."

But I'm one step ahead of him. I knew he was going to say that.

"He gave you strict orders to protect me. And I'm going to help Obi-Wan. If you plan to protect me, you'll just have to come along." I say, pressing my lips tightly together, feeling triumphant.

I flick a few more flight preparation switches on the cockpit's dashboard and feel the rumbling of the engine come to life. Anakin looks at me with a smile, I knew he wanted me to take control and send us to Obi-Wan's aid all along. He slips into the other pilot's seat and takes the controls. The two droids come in from the back of the cockpit. Threepio fastens himself into a seat behind me. I must say, his coverings do look marvelous.

"I'm not worried, Artoo, it's just I've never flown before." I hear him say to his droid counterpart from behind me.

Our ship rises from the flat expanse of land, a dust cloud forming as we kick off and hover for a moment. The homestead and Shmi's grave disappear under the dust cloud, making our departure that much easier for Anakin.

Our sleek, silver ship takes to the skies again, the reflection of the bright, hot suns of Tatooine bouncing off it's chrome exterior for the last time.


	28. Part 4: The Droid Factory

Part 4: Geonosis

* * *

_People clash._

_Enemies fight._

_Differences are solved through violence._

_Negotiations are meaningless._

_People become ferocious, vehement._

_Someone will die._

_This is the outbreak of War._

I

* * *

Geonosis comes into view. _Another desert planet,_ I think to myself as our ship heads at full speed to the ringed planet.

Anakin looks determined and focused as he pilots the ship through the planet's atmosphere. I cannot decide whether he is focusing to get to Obi-Wan faster, or to keep his mind off of the planet we just left. He seems troubled still.

I try to keep him calm by beginning conversation every now and then. I worry about Obi-Wan too, but Anakin seems to be fearful of him, rather than for him. I wonder if he truly believes Obi-Wan may reprimand him for what he did on Tatooine, or for going to Tatooine at all.

The closer we get, the more I notice Anakin is deliberately flying closer and closer to the ground. He weaves the ship in and out of towering rock formations, clinging to the curved sides of canyons. It makes me feel tense. I suppose he is just trying to avoid detection, however, the look on his face tells me that he thinks this is some kind of game or a test. It looks as though he's focusing on risky flying for his own pleasure.

I ask Artoo to pinpoint the location of where Obi-Wan recorded his message. When the coordinates show up on my control panel, I search nearby maps for areas to land in secrecy and keep our ship hidden.

"See those columns of steam straight ahead? They're exhaust vents of some type." I say to Aankin, pointing to several steam clouds that rise from a break in the rocky terrain far off in the distance.

Anakin sends the ship speeding straight at the steam columns. It's as if he's trying to drag every possible bit of steam out of the starship.

"That'll do," Anakin replies to me, steering the ship in a downward direction at full speed straight at the steam.

The ship flies through the steams and lands down at the bottom with ease. I turn to Anakin as he shuts down the engines.

"Look, whatever happens out there, follow my lead. I'm not interested in getting into a war here. As a member of the Senate, maybe I can find a diplomatic solution to this mess." I say to him professionally while wrapping Beru's sand colored cape around my chest again.

"Don't worry," Anakin begins while throwing on his own Jedi robe, "I've given up trying to argue with you."

We leave the ship together, passing the two droids, Artoo giving us an array of slight beeps and whistles, and head down the landing ramp together.

In silence, we walk across the metal floor grate and over to a set of large, iron doors at the end of the strip of ground. My boots make small, tapping noises that echo deeply and loudly throughout the cavern. Around us, the cavern is dark, damp, and secluded. Our ship is well hidden here. The steam cloud rises high above us.

By the time we get to the set of iron doors, I cannot help but think that something is wrong. Anakin's face shows that he is studying the environment, probably using the Force to locate any sign of life forms, both threatening or ally.

He presses a button on a small control panel to the side of the door, and it pops open and retracts into the air with a pump sound.

Together, we squat down and walk through the door and to a hall that is so dark it makes the outside cavern seem bright.

We take slow, cautious steps. I can hardly see a thing. Something about this place is making me feel uneasy. I suppose these are the underground cities.

The further we walk, the more strange the halls seem to be. I notice the surface of them seems to pulse and move. An ominous shiver runs through my body. I feel as though thousands of insects are crawling around me.

"Wait." Anakin says and freezes in place.

When we stop and study the pillars and walls of the hall, I want to scream. It is evident that some termite-like creatures live here, in these walls. They begin to detach themselves slowly in the shadows and scale the walls and ceilings.

In one, fluid motion, Anakin pulls out his lightsaber and turns to the three creatures that jump to attack him. I see him cut through them like butter and I dart forward, heading to a door at the end of the hall, passing by more winged insects that grow from the wall and crawl to Anakin.

The door at the end of the corridor rises open, just the same as the one from the cavern. Impulsively, I run out and onto a small, narrow walkway that is on the other side. It isn't very long, and I almost run right off of it. However, the most starling thing is the sight of an immense droid factory with thousands of crisscrossing and intertwining conveyor belts that move and operate below. Ten of thousands of battle droids are being made, right here, right now.

Anakin arrives behind me, looking down at the factory. The door suddenly falls shut, and we gasp in surprise as more winged creatures pour into the factory, and the walkway begins to retract.

I shriek, and try to grab Anakin's hand, but when the walkway gets too small, I slip and jump off, landing on a conveyor belt below with a thud.

"Padme!" I hear Anakin yell behind me, but I'm not fearful anymore, I'm determined.

The conveyor belt sends me closer and closer into the path of sever stamping machines. I forget about the winged insects that may be trying to attack me too, and I focus completely on making my way through the stampers.

As the first one approaches, I back up for a minute, waiting for it to stamp down. The moment it retracts back again, I crouch down and speed under it. Just barely, I make it out before it slams down to stamp again.

I turn around and the next stamping machine stands before me, moving faster and pressing heavier than the first. I trip on my feet slightly as I try to keep my balance on the moving conveyor belt.

The machine slams down, and once again I dart under it the moment it lets off and rises up.

It stamps down again, just as I make my way out of it and prepare myself as the conveyor belt carries me off to the next one.

I grunt as I duck down and run under the third and final stamper. It slams back down and catches the edge of my cape, but I run off once it's free and speed off, crouching under several more steaming machines and jumping over a dozen small, flimsy arms of welding machines.

I wonder about Anakin. I take a look around and scan what I can see for him. I do hope he's all right. There are so many twisting and turning areas of this factory. It's no wonder the Separatists are straying from the Republic with such confidence. With an army of this size on their side, they have all the power they need. If this army is functional, we are in trouble.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a winged creature fly in my direction and land just behind me. Startled, I turn around and try to fight it off. It grips both of my hands with its own and we are locked in a small, struggling fight, both of us trying to wriggle free.

I feel myself stumbling to the right. I can just barely feel the edge of the conveyor belt with my foot, but the Geonosian is stronger and forces me off the conveyor belt.

I scream in fright, but realize I fall right into a large, deep vat on a different path of the factory.

Where am I headed? Where is this taking me? I begin to panic and I try to grip the sides of the large, stone vat. Will I be able to climb out of it?

The more I try, the harder it seems to be. I get one or two successful grips, and then my hand slips, and I fall back to the curved bottom of the tub. I struggle to find more handholds to grip onto and pull myself up and out of the large vat, but it's useless.

I hear a roar coming from one direction. The vats in front of me must be nearing a filling station where molten iron will be poured into them.

I really begin to panic now. My hands become clammy and I struggle to grip onto the handholds I was able to reach before.

_I've got to do something! I'm running out of time!_ I cry in my head, gritting my teeth and trying to climb yet again.

Suddenly the metal tube appears above my vat. It's lid slides open and I scream, expected the molten iron to pour in and kill me instantly. I didn't even have a chance to kiss Anakin one last time.

Before the iron can come out, however, the lid retracts and seals the opening up. Confused, I back away and stand in the center of the base, looking in all directions. Who stopped it? Who closed the tube before the iron reached it? Who saved me?

The tube disappears and I feel my stomach lurch as the image of the factory above me begins to grow smaller. I'm falling. The vat was released from its carrying arms on the assembly line.

It crashes with a thud to the grown and falls on its side. I stumble to its sloped side, tumbling down and out onto a walkway.

I regain my balance and stand up. The room is spinning and things are out of focus for a moment, but I am able to make out the images of winged creatures, too many to count, hovering around me, closing in, and taking me prisoner.


	29. Part 4: Audience with Dooku

II

* * *

Captured and handcuffed, the grotesque insects lead me off to a hall that no longer looks like the droid factory. I had hopes that perhaps Anakin had gotten through the factory with less altercations than me, and that he would be on his way to finding Obi-Wan on his own. However, all hopes I had were sadly extinguished when the door to another hall slid open and I saw him standing there before me, handcuffed and unarmed, led by a man in body armor and droidekas.

The two of us are taken to a small, dark room with a round table in the center. Winged creatures line the perimeter of the round room, and the man in the armor leads Anakin and I in and over to the far side. I sit down in the only chair on that side of the table, apprehensive of what is going to happen. Anakin stands closely behind me.

When I look across the table, I see him; Count Dooku, sitting directly across from me like a phantom, lurking menacingly in the shadows of the dark room. His old, angular face is illuminated by the bright lights set within the table we're sitting at.

More winged creatures enter the room and stand guard, surrounding Anakin. Even if we wanted to escape, we couldn't. They confiscated my blaster pistol, and from the looks of things, Anakin doesn't have his lightsaber either.

I clear my throat and look into Dooku's empty, unforgiving eyes. I know how slippery and deceiving he is. I have only one thing to ask him for. Now is the time for me to execute my diplomatic strengths.

"You are holding a Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I am formally requesting you hand him over to me now." I demand with force and authority, despite being a handcuffed prisoner in front of him.

"He has been convicted of espionage, Senator, and will be executed. In just a few hours, I believe." He says smoothly. He sounds disgustingly informal and friendly, as if we have had long, lost relations.

He forms a twisted, evil smile, not caring that everyone can see. He isn't worried about showing his true affiliations here. Everyone is under him. They know where his loyalties lie. He has no one to fool in this room.

"He is an officer of the Republic. You can't do that!" I defend, sorting through rules and technicalities engrained in my memory.

His smile remains. He keeps that gloating, triumphant look on his face, as though he knew I was going to say that, and is ready to outsmart me one more time.

"We don't recognize the Republic here, Senator, but…if Naboo were to join our Alliance, I could easily hear your plea for clemency." He says, raising his eyebrows, as if his deal is helpful to me.

I already know how to answer his request. I cannot give Naboo over to his cause. As their representative, I have almost as much power as the Queen when it comes to intergalactic affairs. Theoretically, I could sign over Naboo right now, and it would be done. But I could never. I realize what a mess this has all become. I want to apologize to Anakin for everything. It was wrong of us to come here. It was wrong of me to think this was a good idea. I'm almost glad he's standing behind me, because I doubt I could bear to look him in the eyes, now that I've practically led us to our deaths.

"And if I don't join your rebellion, I assume this Jedi with me will also die?" I ask him.

"I don't wish to make you join our cause against you will, Senator, but you are an honest, rational representative of your people, and I assume you want to do what's in their best interest." He says to me, sounding understanding and sympathetic.

I wait for the catch in his speech. Something about his kindness makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel as though I can see right through him. It's all too easy to see his lies.

He leans forward and looks at me with a devious grin, "Aren't they fed up with the corruption, the bureaucrats, the hypocrisy of it all? Aren't you? Be honest, Senator."

"The ideals are still alive, Count, even if the institution is failing." I say to him, being careful to defend the Republic. I know what he's trying to do. I ignore the lies he's trying to manipulate my mind with.

"You believe in the same ideals we believe in!" He booms, slamming his fist onto the round, conference table. "The same ideals we are striving to make prominent."

"Well, then, if what you stay is true you should stay in the Republic and help Chancellor Palpatine put things right." I find myself pleading with him now.

He sits back and mutters a slight chuckle through his condescending smirk.

"The Chancellor means well, M'Lady, but he is incompetent. He has promised to cut the bureaucracy, but the bureaucrats are stronger than ever, no?" He asks redundantly.

I sit in silence for a moment. Even if I had a response, I feel it would be useless to fuel him with more information.

"The Republic cannot be fixed, M'Lady. It is time to start over. The democratic process in the Republic is a sham, no? A shell game played on the voters. The time will come when that cult of greed called 'The Republic' will lose even the pretext of democracy and freedom." He says, and I am convinced he really believes there is a problem with the Republic. He really believes that he has a solution to reform the government.

"I cannot believe that." I say finally, after a moment of silence that lasted too long. I wonder if I gave him the impression that I had been contemplating what he told me.

"I know of your treaties with the Trade Federation, the Commerce Guilds, and the others, Count. What is happening here is not government that has been bought out by business—it's business becoming government! I will not forsake all I have honored and worked for and betray the Republic." I confess to him confidently.

"Then you will betray your Jedi friends? Without your cooperation I can do nothing to stop their execution." He says, feeling victorious.

My heart sinks. I have failed Anakin and Obi-Wan. I have failed the Jedi and the Senate. My friends will die. The man I love will die. But I cannot betray my past, my future, and world. I would die for my planet. I would die for them. I would die too.

Then I think of it. I will not sit and watch Anakin and Obi-Wan be killed. I will go with them.

"And what about me? Am I to be executed also?" I ask, hoping to give him an idea.

"I wouldn't think of such an offense." He says, seeming appalled that I would think he would want me to die as well.

Before I can interrupt, however, he moves to continue.

"However, there are individuals who have a strong interest in your demise, M'Lady." He adds.

_Gunray,_ I spit bitterly in my mind.

"It has nothing to do with politics, I'm afraid—purely personal—and they have already paid great sums to have you assassinated on a multitude of accounts. I'm sure they will push hard to have you included in the executions." He says, that sick, twisted grin returning to his face.

Obi-Wan was right. Nute Gunray was behind it all along. He had hired the assassin that shot down our cruiser on Coruscant, killing Dorme. He had hired the assassins that sent the poisonous bugs into my bedroom. He has carried this bitter, personal grudge for ten years, and will finally have his day in the sun. He's finally getting what he wants.

The Count sits back his chair and says, "I'm sorry, but if you are not going to cooperate, I must turn you over to the Geonosians for justice. Without your cooperation, I've done all I can for you."

I raise my chin and remain silent. I'd rather die with dignity than succumb to his twisted rebellion.

The masked bounty hunter who had captured Anakin speaks from the back of the room.

"Take them away." He commands to the Geonosian guards, who pull me from the chair and lead me from the room.


	30. Part 4: The Trial

III

* * *

Placed in separate holding cells, I finally have some time to think. I hate being separated from Anakin, but for right now, it's the only option we have. I have to clear my head and think of something we can do to get us out of this. But at the moment, the only bright side to our situation is that in the case any of us die, we'll all die together.

For now, our only hope is for the Jedi to come to our aid. However, for the Jedi to come help us, they would need authorization of the Senate before even being able to strategize a plan of action. And from my experience in the Senate, I know it would be days before the Senators would reach a conclusion for the Jedi. There would be days of ongoing debate and arguing over this tiny rescue mission in comparison to the very real, grandiose conflicts erupting all over the galaxy simultaneously. The Senate has time to debate, but we do not. The Geonosians don't seem like creatures that had days to let their prisoners wait to be executed.

This realization was proved true, when no sooner had I thought that than several Geonosian guards came to my cell and took me from it. They took my heavy cape off from my neck, as if it would distract me from being told I was soon to be killed. Did they think I would be able to take it off and use it as some sort of distracting weapon that would save my life?

When I am led from my cell, I am reunited with Anakin. I can honestly say, I have never been happier to see him. I realize now that all hope for safety is lost. We will die soon, but at least we will die together. At least we will die without having to worry about jeopardizing our futures for our love.

His cape is missing too. He looks so handsome, even now, when he and I both know we are being led to our deaths.

We are taken to a large courtroom. There is very minimal lighting in the room, but of course, they place us right in the one spotlight of hot, desert sun that peers through the underground cavern.

Seated before us, off high in a tall, boxed-off area is Poggle the Lesser, Archduke of Geonosis. Two underlings accompany him. The image reminds me eerily of the Republic's Galactic Senate Arena. Off to the side, I see a variety of familiar faces. They are a collection of deceptive, vile Separatist leaders who have departed from the Republic. Count Dooku and Nute Gunray sit among them. I pick their slimy faces out of the crowd immediately, even though I also recognize delegates like Wat Tambor, Passel Argente, and Shu Mai, to name a few. With all representatives of the Commerce Guilds, Trade Federation, Intergalactic Banking Clan, and even some recognizable Senators who I know opposed my devotion to the Republic, I see no sign of hope that this trial will end in our favor.

On all sides, hidden in the shadows, hundreds of Geonosians sit and crawl among each other, waiting eagerly for us to be given a verdict.

"You have been charged and found guilty of espionage." One of the underlings to the Archduke says to us.

Poggle the Lesser makes an array of clicking noises in his natural, Geonosian dialect. By the expecting look on his face, I can assume he has asked us if we have any last words to ask before we are sentenced.

"You are committing an act of war, Archduke. I hope you are prepared for the consequences." I say.

The last word barely escapes my mouth, and the entire courtroom erupts with laughter. They are making a mockery out of what I had threatened them with. Never have I felt like such a lesser being. Never have I felt so worthless.

The Archduke speaks more to us, and his aide translates for him.

"We build weapons, Senator…that's our business! Of course we're prepared." The underling says to me.

Whether this is what the Archduke had truly said or not is irrelevant. I know our place here. I know we aren't to be taken seriously. We're about to be evening entertainment for the general public.

As the laughter rings on, I hear Nute Gunray become agitated and yell, "Get on with it. Carry out the sentence. I want to see her suffer!"

If I could spit on him, I would. He's about to get what he wants. The least he could do is give me some time to die with dignity.

The Archduke waves his hand to silence the crowd, his metal bangles jingling on his wrists.

"Your other Jedi friend is waiting for you, Senator. Taken them to the area!" The underling translates.

Poggle looks satisfied. Nute Gunray looks ecstatic. Dooku sits among them with a smug grin. I suppose he feels that, with fighters for peace like me out of the way, the Separatists and the Sith will finally have their revenge on the Republic. I feel two guards grab hold of each of my arms and I am led out of the courtroom with Anakin, the sound of chuckling and demeaning laughter ringing through my ears.


	31. Part 4: Love Pledge

IV

* * *

I raise my head in silence. About an hour has gone by since the trial and Anakin and I are now handcuffed to either side of a small, open cart. A small opening at the end of the tunnel gives us a partial view of the execution arena. From inside this holding tunnel, we can already hear the murmurs of thousands of Geonosians who have come from the ground to watch our execution.

We stand with each other in silence, facing front. Our cuffs prevent us from facing each other.

I feel miserable. I have been the cause for all of this. I insisted on us coming here, and now it's led to us being killed.

The driver gets up onto his seat on the beast that will carry our cart out to the arena. I feel nauseas. My stomach lurches and I feel the tears come to my eyes. I feel horrible about everything, right now. I never got the chance to see Obi-Wan and thank him for what he's done for me—all he's risked for me.

I haven't gotten the chance to tell Anakin I love him, and that it doesn't matter anymore about hiding our love. I want to be with him. I need to be with him. But perhaps it's easier this way. Perhaps it's better to die without trying to love him instead of living and continuing to suppress my feelings for him. Maybe death will be a blessing, a way for us to finally love, unlike this world where we are forbidden to do so.

I feel the fear escape me, and I see the hope that maybe it is better this way.

"Don't be afraid." Anakin says softly to me.

I look at him with tears in my bloodshot eyes. He seems more worried about me than himself.

"I'm not afraid to die." I say, deciding that if there was ever going to be a time for truth, it was now. There was no point in keeping my true feelings secret from him anymore. There was no point in keeping silent and holding back my emotions. I don't want to waste the last few moments of my life lying to myself. "I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life."

My voice is broken, and shaky.

"What are you talking about?" He asks in a voice slightly stronger than before. He looks shocked and confused.

"I love you." I say, finally, after all this time. I force myself to be frank with him. I want to tell it to him as blatantly as possible.

I feel an immense pressure release off of my chest. In the back of my mind, the symphony softly returns to me as no more than a faint whisper in my ear.

"You love me?" He asks with wide eyes.

I cannot tell whether he is genuinely shocked, or if there is an undercurrent of elation or outrage from my confession. "I thought that we had decided not to fall in love—that we would be forced to live a lie. And that it would destroy our lives." He sounds rational and professional. He sounds like me, and for the first time, hearing it back, I hear how ridiculous it sounds.

His lip quivers as he speaks. I feel somewhat guilty, holding it back for so long. I know I had said all of those things to him and I know I am responsible for what is going to happen to us, but had I known this is how it would have ended, I would have allowed our romance on Naboo. I would have allowed myself to be taken by him and his love.

Everything I had claimed to be reasons for us to restrain ourselves all seems meaningless now.

"I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway." I say to him, playing on the words he had just said. What's the use in worrying about our love killing us when we're headed off to our deaths?

My love for Anakin is like a puzzle. I have no answers to it, myself. I cannot control it on my own. But now I don't care. I wish I could touch him just one more time. I want to kiss him—a real kiss, and keep kissing him until they rip us apart and force us to be killed. I want to die in his arms. But we are tied to opposite sides of the cart, and I know I couldn't reach him, no matter how hard I tried.

"I truly, deeply love you…and before we die I want you to know." I say softly, the end of my love pledge ending in little more than a whisper.

I see Anakin's lips tremble. I lean closer to him, and he leans forward into me. By just stretching, our lips are able to meet for the second time.

It's exactly what I wanted. It's a kiss—a _real_ kiss. Neither of us backs away. And we keep kissing. The love symphony of the two, complicated lovers from across the stars crescendos through my ears. I can feel it in my heart. The chorus rings louder than ever. I swear Anakin can hear it too. He continues to kiss me, and I continue to kiss back. I forget everything in this moment. I forget that we're on Geonosis. I forget that we are being led to our deaths. I forget that we are who we are. I feel freed. I feel liberated. I feel empowered.

I hear the crack of a whip and the cart jerks forward and begins to move. This is it. The crowds of the arena begin to roar, fighting with the sound of the symphony that continues to play through my mind.

I regained my footing as we are exposed to the blinding sunlight. Our kiss ends and I feel a fire spark inside of me. Anakin and I look into each other's eyes, which are both bloodshot and full of tears, and we both feel safe and empowered through our confession.

We come into the arena and, through all the jeers and screams, I feel something happen inside of me. Maybe I won't die today.


	32. Part 4: The Arena

V

* * *

The immense arena is packed with tier upon tier of enthusiastic, insect-like Geonosians, yelling and waving their arms at us as our cart slowly perimeters the circular arena.

All eyes are focused on the center of the arena, a great sand pit, completely open and empty with the exception of four, towering posts our cart is headed towards. Obi-Wan is chained to one of them, and I use all the will power left in my being to not look him in the eye.

The cart comes to a halt in the center of the arena, and two guards come to grab each of us. Anakin and I are taken out of the cart separately and taken over to two of the four columns.

I watch as Anakin is led to the column next to Obi-Wan, the center column, second from the right. I am led to the other middle column, second from the left. The Geonosian guard is marching in front of me, and I seize the perfect opportunity to pry a wire free from my utility belt and quickly place it in my mouth, fixing it tightly between my firmly clenched teeth.

Off to my left, I hear Obi-Wan and Anakin exchanging sarcastic greetings and a few other words before the Geonosians take flight with our chains, and attach them to the top of the posts, inevitably pulling our arms high up over our heads.

The cart pulls away and I hear the crowds break into another uproar of applause and cheers. They know their show is about to happen soon.

To our left, a large, ornate balcony is perched high within the rows of seats, specifically for the officials and leaders of the planet. Sure enough, Poggle the Lesser, Count Dooku, Nute Gunray, and the armored bounty hunter all emerge onto the balcony along with other Nemodian dignitaries. The other Separatist leaders must be watching the arena from inside some other room.

Poggle walks out shaking his arms, causing the crowds to quiet and regain their composure, despite the fact that they're primitive insects that take pleasure in being spectators to an execution arena.

Without wasting another minute, I tug on the little amount of give my chains allow. Standing on my tiptoes and pulling my wrists to my mouth, I begin to vigorously work the wire fixed in my teeth into the tiny keyholes in my handcuffs.

"The felons before you have been convicted of espionage against the Sovereign System of Geonosis. Their sentence of death is to be carried out in this public arena henceforth!" I hear a translator call for Poggle who is clicking away furiously, but I try to not let myself get distracted by his speech and keep my focus on freeing my hands.

I listen for my and Anakin's symphony in the back of my mind and hope it will help keep me calm and focused on the task at hand.

The crowds calm a little and I hear gates from the opposite end of the arena jerk and begin to retract. Time is running out. The executions are about to begin. I have to hurry.

I dare not pull away from my handcuffs. The temptation to look at the beats is great, but my focus is greater. If I break away from trying to get myself free, even for a second, I know I'll never have enough time to regain my focus and try again.

From my side, I hear Anakin say grimly, "I have a bad feeling about this."

I focus even harder, furiously wiggling the wire around the tiny keyhole. I begin to panic. I can feel beads of sweat running down my forehead. I'll never get the open in time. My plan won't work. What if I do die?

_CLICK_.

The handcuff springs open and I pull my hand free, wasting no time. I place the metal wire back in the pouch of my belt and wipe the sweat from my brow. Taking one, quick glimpse at the beast headed towards me, I see that it's a nexu, a large, catlike animal with massive, razor sharp claws, dozens of beady, deranged eyes, and rows and rows of sharp teeth. Most notably, the beast has countless quills protruding down its back, like haggles that stand on end when the animal is angry and savage.

Luckily, my beast is preoccupied with the guard it attacked and killed for an appetizer. It gives me a slight advantage, seeing as the two beats headed for Anakin and Obi-Wan are much closer to their targets than mine. Several other guards are poking it with electrifying sticks, trying to get its focus off of the meaningless prey and back onto me. This only works to my advantage as it buys me all the time I need for my next plan: getting to the top of my pillar.

I turn around to face my pillar and grip tightly onto my chain as I begin to climb its surface. Using chipped inlets and the chain of my hand restraints, I find it much easier to scale this than the inner walls of the vat in the droid factory. My boots help a lot too. The grips on the bottoms of the feet help me keep my position on the pillar and make it easier to kick off and scale even higher.

Higher and higher I climb. I feel as though I'm getting nowhere, but every time I daringly peer down below, I see I have risen quite high in a short amount of time.

Finally, I make it to the top. Using all of my upper arm strength, I pull myself up to the pillar's flat top surface until I am able to hoist my legs up as well. With my whole body perched atop the high top of the column, I remain crouched down, for the sake of keeping my balance, and recoil all of my chain, gathering it in my tight grip.

Obi-Wan has already encountered his beast. I watch him as he twists and turns, still attached to his pole. However, he pulls away, and when his massive, crab-like opponent swings a front claw, the size of a small speeder, it rips the chain free of the pillar, breaking Obi-Wan free.

Simultaneously, I see Anakin's beast charge for him, ready to rip him to pieces. But Anakin is quick to act first, and kicks off hard from the ground, performing an array of flips and turns, landing on his beast's back. He twists the chain around the monster's large, front horn and with force, pulls it from its point of attachment at the top of the column.

I look to the delegate's balcony and see Poggle the Lesser looking around, speechless. The crowds are silent, as if they hadn't expected us to fight back. I hope Nute Gunray can see me looking right at him.

My turn. I see my beast spring at my pillar with its menacing claws. It's given up on its appetizer. Its claws dig in to the sides of the pillar and I watch as it hangs on for a moment. Preparing myself, I peer down, as it falls back for a second, then kicks off and, in a few swipes, nearly reaches the top.

Gripping the chain tightly, I put all of my power into hoping the weight of the handcuff his it with force. I swing, and the end of the cuff slams right into the nexu's face. It falls down a few feet on the pillar, but regains its bearings and climbs back up again.

I swing once more, hitting it in the face again, but it recovers quickly this time and swipes its piercing claws across my back, ripping my shirt just above my stomach and leaving three, bloody claw slashes across my back.

"AAAHHH!" I yell in pain, feeling the burning sensation as the hot air hits my open, fresh wounds. My right sleeve has been ripped off as well.

The pieces of cloth float to the ground. I narrow my eyes and look up to the archducal box where Nute Gunray rubs his hands together and laughs to the delegates by his side. I'll give him something to really laugh about.

The nexu attempts to jump back up on the pillar, but I am quicker. I jump off the post and into the air, swinging around on the chain, and using all the power in my feet to kick the beast hard on the head with both feet.

It tumbles to the sand and yelps in pain. I didn't realize I had that much power in me. Not allowing myself to get caught up in my victory, I cling to the pillar and get a good grip on the ledge, scrambling to the top. The beast circles the base of the column. I hope it's afraid of what'll happen if it tries to climb up again.

When I'm back up at the top of the pillar, I look to the official's box again. Nute Gunray is fuming. I can see him flailing his arms everywhere, pointing to the armed bounty hunter and then again at me.

I can't help but feel slightly victorious. I was able to not only survive longer than expected, but I survived long enough to have Nute Gunray furious enough to want people with weapons to interfere. I smirk at my slight victory, but I remind myself not to get too caught up in the moment. After all, my beast is still alive and has potential to harm me yet.

I spend the next few moments using the wire from my belt another time to free my other hand from the handcuffs. The nexu looks confused and disoriented. It circles the pillar, apprehensive to climb up again.

This brief moment of safety allows me to look around the arena and check on Obi-Wan and Anakin. Obi-Wan's monster had managed to knock over his entire pillar with the force of his head. This distraction allows Obi-Wan to run over to the side and force a spear from the hands of one of the Geonosians that lured the beasts to our pillars originally.

Anakin, on the other hand, seems to have his situation under control rather well. As I fumble with picking the second lock, I watch him approach his beast from behind slowly. In one swift motion, he leaps onto its back and wraps the chain around its neck, getting a firm, commanding hold on it, and taming it to be his ally.

I free my second hand and I relieve it of the pain from the restraints. I look down at the nexu who is watching me from below, waiting for me to come down. It knows I can't stay up here forever.

From the corner of my eye, I see Anakin, riding his beast and charge right at the nexu. It guts the beats with its large horn, and the nexu gives a small whimper, then falls to its side, large, bloody gash marks on its underside.

"You OK?" Anakin asks me, looking up at me with a surprisingly happy smile.

"Sure." I gasp, nodding breathlessly.

"Jump!" He calls, motioning for me to jump down and join him on the back of his tamed beast.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Hearing the symphony play through my head, I leap from the top of the pillar, and feel myself falling down, down from the height of the column and onto the back, just behind Anakin. I wrap my arms around his waist, and give him a subtle kiss on the side of his cheek.

He digs his heels into the side of the beast and we take off, charging around the arena. It feels oddly familiar, just like our ride on the shaaks through the Naboo meadows. Unfortunately, instead of being in the calm, quiet, and serene meadows, we're in this hot, barbaric execution arena, fighting for our lives. However, something tells me our odds are better than we thought. I look up to the archducal box once more and see Gunray, more furious than ever. He points directly to the bounty hunter, probably commanding him to shoot us from their box and put an end to us already.

A wave of hope passes through me. Maybe we won't die today. Maybe Gunray won't get to see what he's waited ten years for.

To our left, Obi-Wan comes running at us. He is still cuffed, but he has been able to distract and hold off his beast for this long. More Geonosian guards run to his beast's aid, attempting to force it back into attacking us, now that we've reunited. He hops onto the beast behind me, and I touch his leg, comfortingly. It's the first time I've seen him since the day Anakin and I left Coruscant.

A gate rises from across the arena. From deep within a familiar sound of rolling metal is heard. About a dozen Federation droideka's roll out, and circle us and the beast. They point their guns at us, clicking them into position, waiting for the command to shoot us, now that we are surrounded. Suddenly, the fight doesn't seem so fair anymore. This doesn't seem to be a simple execution any longer, now that these destroyer droids were at-the-ready, so quick to get involved.

From below, I see a familiar face appear in the official's box. He ignites his purple lightsaber, and all three of us breathe a sigh of relief on the back of this beast.

Like magic, a wave of four hundred—no, _five_ hundred—lightsabers of green and blue ignite and come to life sporadically throughout the rows of seats in the organic arena. From our position in the middle of the arena below, I can see the familiar faces of Jedi Masters Ki-Adi-Mundi, Aayla Secura, Luminara Unduli, Shaak Ti, Kit Fisto, and many more as they soar down the stands and jump to join us in the middle of the arena.

As if prepared, a very organized, marching sound begins to grow from the same gate the destroyer droids rolled out from. From the shadows, hundreds upon hundreds of battle droids come into view; marching out in perfect unison, blasters in hand, the droids look as though they've been waiting, ready to fight us for too long.

Master Windu jumps to the ground, deflecting blast after blast with his lightsaber. By the time he reaches the ground, hundreds of battle droids are pouring out from each of the gates around the arena.

The Geonosian spectators take flight and flee the arena, using their wings to carry them high off into the sky and away from the battle.

We ride our beast around the arena watching as the army of noble, talented Jedi charge straight for the massive crowd of battle droids, shooting away at them.

Once the two groups mix, two Jedi Knights approach us and toss both Anakin and Ob-Wan extra lightsabers. Gently, Anakin and Obi-Wan use their weapon to break each other free of their hand restrains.

To our right, a cannon blast sounds and obliterates one of the pillars we were chained to. The explosion causes a massive dust cloud as rubble blows everywhere. Our beast becomes startled from the explosion and rises on its hind legs. Unable to keep our balance, the three of us fall off of its back and onto the ground. Obi-Wan and Anakin regain their footing easily and continue to deflect droid's blasts back at them as though nothing had happened at all. I keep to the ground and spot a fallen dorid's blaster laying a few feet in front of me in the sand. I scramble over to it and pick it up, jumping to my feet and blasting away at anything that isn't a Jedi.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot the animal with the open cart that carried Anakin and I into the arena attached to it's back. Frantically, it's running through the chaos. I run over to it and, in one swift motion that would impress any Jedi, I hurl myself onto it's back and begin to ride it around the arena, using it's speed and height to my advantage as I blast away at the army of droids.

From up on the animal's back, I can see that more Federation droids continue to emerge from the gates that perimeter the arena.

_Is there no end to their numbers?_ I think to myself.

Anakin jumps into the open cart attached to my animal. In the quick glimpse I catch when I look back, he is slicing away at all of the pathetic, flimsy droids that try to shoot at him.

I smile, and turn back around, keeping my focus on the battle, and staying alive.

I'd be lying if I said this was going to be a surefire victory for us. When I scan the arena, I unfortunately notice that for as many droids that have already been cut down and sliced to pieces, there is a number of Jedi that have also been shot down and perished already. Master Windu always said there weren't enough Jedi to make up for an opposing droid army. I'm beginning to think he's right.

I take a few shots at the archducal box for my own amusement, hoping one of them gets close enough to Gunray to scare him, if not to kill him.

I shoot around, looking for any sight of Obi-Wan, hoping he's safe. I see him off to the side with Master Windu. They stand back-to-back, deflecting blasts back at droids. It's so strange to see the Jedi and droids locked in such mixed combat. I begin worry that my rage of blasting will accidentally cut down a Jedi. I begin to focus and really concentrate on what I'm shooting at. Simultaneously, I'm avoiding being hit myself. I suppose my height and position on this animal put a certain spotlight on me for the droids.

The battle ensues. Cannons firing in every direction, a field of laser blasts crisscrossing in every direction.

A droideka appears out of nowhere and shoots several, clean blasts at the beast I'm riding. It falls to its side, instantly dead. I tumble off of its back and onto the sand, trying to be quick to recover myself. Anakin has also fallen out of the large cart, which has been turned upright and stands on its side.

The two of us retreat into it, using it as a temporary shelter. It's quite funny to think that the last time we were inside of it, we were kissing.

I duck down and try to hide within its depths, using just my blaster to peer out and fire at our enemies. I am successful in cutting down a few more droids in this hiding spot. I notice one laser blast of mine takes the lower arm completely off of a Super Battle Droid.

"You call this a 'diplomatic solution?'" He asks me, between swings of his lightsaber while catching his breath.

I am quick to answer him, taking a temporary break from blasting away Federation droids. I know exactly what to say to him. I hold my blaster up and look at him.

"No. I call it 'aggressive negotiations.'" I smile at him and he smiles back, clearly remembering our flirtatious nights on Naboo when such topics came up in our playful conversations.

More and more droids collect around it and begin to fire at us. Feeling trapped, we both charge out from the confined space and make a run for it, dodging blasts that are aimed right at us. We manage to use our weapons as we run, hopefully cutting down a few more droids.

We run to the middle of the arena where many of the Jedi are collecting. Our numbers are thinning. The droids continue to pile out of a large tunnel at the end of the arena. From all sides, they begin to force our small group of remaining Jedi into the center of the arena, blasting away forcefully. More Jedi are cut down with every blast. Soon, there are only about twenty that make up our resistance. However, we don't back down. We don't give in. We continue to fight, and I blast laser after laser from my gun, never easing up for a second. I will fight until I am cut down, now that I have something worth fighting for.

Eventually, the droids surround us, encircling us completely in the center of the arena.

I peer up to the archducal box. Dooku looks satisfied. Gunray looks ecstatic.

Dooku raises one arm and suddenly all of the droids retract their weapons and cease fire, though their weapons remain at-the-ready.

All is silent for a moment. Obi-Wan walks over to a Jedi—presumably one of the last to have been cut down. His wounds are fresh and he is not breathing.

When I look around, I see that all of the Jedi still have their lightsabers ignited. They aren't fools. They aren't going to surrender. I keep my gun ready for anything, like a sudden barrage of missiles.

Obi-Wan stands up. There is no hope for the fallen Jedi. He is long dead. Obi-Wan looks tired, worn, and disgusted. Killing a Jedi takes a lot more—means a lot more—than cutting down armies of these mindless, emotionless battle droids.

Geonosian guards lead several other Jedi through the crowd of droids and into the center of the arena with the rest of us. Ki-Adi-Mundi, Aayla Secura, and Plo Koon are among them. They must have been at other sections of the arena when the overwhelming number of droids surrounded us.

"Master Windu! You have fought gallantly—worthy of recognition in the history archives of the Jedi Order. Now, it is finished." He booms to our group down below.

There is a brief pause, as if he really wanted us to soak in what he had just yelled to us. He knows victory is in order for him, and he'll do whatever it takes to make this moment of glory last as long as it can.

"Surrender—and your lives will be spared." He proposes to us, as if he's doing us some sort of favor.

Master Windu looks to all of us. We're all thinking the same thing. We won't go down without a fight.

"We will not be hostages to be bartered with, Dooku." He fights back, speaking for all of us.

Dooku looks down. I cannot see his face, but I assume he's giving one of those fake pity and sorrow gimmicks, as if it's a real tragedy for him and his cronies to watch us all be slain by their army.

The droids all raise their weapons again. The lock them into position, and point their blasters at us. The Jedi respond by readying their lightsabers. I hold my own gun into position.

Anakin and I exchange glances. This is it. We either make it or we don't. At least we will have a few more moments with each other before the droids cut us down.

Suddenly, an inexplicable force within tells me inside to look up. I don't know where it came from, or why I felt the necessity to look at the hot, orange sky. But when I do, I am grateful. I see over a dozen, large gunships hovering over the arena.

"Look!" I yell, motioning to the gunships.

Are they part of the Federation army too? Could they serve as a momentary distraction for us?

My questions are answered as several of the gunships slowly maneuver down into the arena, circling the group of us. Large turrets on the inside fire laser blasts in every direction but ours. They take out droids, dozens—no, hundreds—at a time. Numerous soldiers in sleek, white armor and helmets jump from the platforms of the gunships and use their blaster rifles to take out more and more droids.

Time seems to freeze for me. Part of me wants to believe that it's all in my head. I'm imagining being saved, but will soon be brought back to reality where the droids will gun our small group down in minutes. However, I look around at all of the gunships that enter the arena. On one of them, I spot Master Yoda, small, but serious, concentrating on lowering the ships to the ground.

_Allies, _I think, breathing a sigh of relief. I point my blaster and begin to fire vigorously at more droids who are now confused and stunned by the arrival of our new hope.

The attack of the clones could not have been timed more perfectly. The gunships land in a cluster around our group of remaining Jedi. There is a furious storm of laserfire now, but everything bounces off the protective shields created by the gunships.

It does not take long before the droids are either cut down or retreat back into the arena tunnels. I look up at archducal box and see all of the delegates have either left or are in the process of retreating as well. Dooku has a strange, defeated look, as if he is bewildered that such reinforcements were able to arrive both undetected and unnoticed until now. How had he not sensed this?

Anakin motions for me to come and climb aboard a gunship with Obi-Wan and him. I run to his side and he helps me up, into the platform, just before it kicks off of the ground. The arena, decorated with blood, bodies, and mangled droid parts shrinks smaller and smaller below us.


	33. Part 4: Gunship Calvary

VI

* * *

The gunships jerk up and fly just over the topmost tier of the arena. I keep my eyes on the arena's exterior for as long as I can. Several large plumes of dark, ominous smoke rise from the depths of the interior. For some reason, I cannot stop looking. I know I will never go back to the arena. I will never see it again. I will never return to this awful planet for as long as I live. But I can't help but feel as though I discovered a large portion of my identity in that arena. I told Anakin I love him inside the arena. From the cell inside, I discovered that I could give in to my emotions and allow myself to fall in love. I found myself in that arena, now filled with smog, where I fought along side him and managed to survive our execution.

From the air, we can see a wide expanse of the rocky, Geonosis terrain. Massive lines of parked, Federation Starships and droids surrounding the arena now find themselves charging at the thousands of Republic Starships, which are deploying tens of thousands of clone troopers to the desert ground below. In the distance, I see more Republic Starships landing and spewing our troops just the same. This is the exact image I saw when reflecting on the Military Creation Act. It's the exact image I always feared, yet it's the only way for me to leave this planet alive. The irony stabs at my insides like a knife. I do not want this for the Republic, but, at the same time, I cannot deny knowing this is necessary. I cannot alleviate the pure feeling of satisfaction I feel swelling inside of me at the sight of our overwhelming army. Does this make me a bad diplomat? Does this make me a hypocrite after all I've done to prevent this?

The gunships fly together, in formation, circling the towering stalagmites as we head toward the assembly point. I try to rid my head of the troubling thoughts and concentrate on what the gunships are doing. It is smart to stick close to the environment on such a planet like this. If the Geonosians want to destroy us, they'll have to destroy their land, and the cities built underneath it, too.

While looking out across the battlefield, I manage to think of something that makes me smile. I think of Dooku and Gunray, probably off in a hidden control room frantically arguing about how they've failed and I've gotten away. They're probably all arguing about how improbable it was for Master Yoda to arrive with an army of this size so suddenly. They're probably arguing about how they will have to accept defeat and flee before we capture them.

"Hold on!" Obi-Wan yells over the noise of the gunship's engines, bringing me back into the moment.

The three of us grab hold of looping cables that hang from the dark roof of the gunship. Ground fire and explosions rock our gunship in the air. We weave in and out of cannon blasts, avoiding each one more successfully than the last.

On the ground below, I see clone troopers riding speeder bikes, advancing toward the battlefield.

Trade federation Spider Droids fire at both the troopers on the bikes, and the gunships in the air like ours. I see a number of the gunships land gently on the ground, the Jedi springing out of them, wielding their ready lightsabers and charging off into crowds of droids, slashing them to pieces as the battle rages on. It's as if these new reinforcements have given the remaining Jedi a sense of hope and empowerment. All of their fatigue from the arena is gone and they look ready to fight and survive. Maybe all this time I was wrong? Maybe an army _is_ what the Republic needed to instill hope and adrenaline in the Jedi and other civilians who will now have restored faith in the Republic as a government? Maybe I was wrong.

Our gunship skims the battlefield. It fires down at the droids below, helping make their numbers lessen more quickly with our heavy firepower. Any answering fire from the droids that heads our way is quickly deflected or avoided. Our intelligence obviously trumps the droids' programming.

The gunship that carries Master Yoda, Master Windu, and other Jedi Masters from the Council flies low, off toward the towering, column-like Techno Union Starships. Ours follows closely behind.

Laser fire from both ships pelts the base of the Techno Union Starship, rocking it back and forth, weakening its structure.

"Aim right above the fuel cells." Anakin yells to one of the pilots of our ship.

More firepower hits the ship and it teeters from the explosions. Just as our gunships split up and fly past, I look back and watch as the ship breaks apart, its numerous tanks of fuel fall to the ground, crushing mass amounts of battle droids on the fields below.

"Good call, my young Padawan." Obi-Wan says, smiling proudly.

He looks off to the distance and his eyes focus on something ahead.

"Those Federations sharships are taking off. Target them quickly!" He yells up to the pilot.

Far ahead of us, one of the immense, spherical ships begins to rise from its docking port in the ground. I recognize it immediately as one of the Federation's ships that were used as part of the blockade on Naboo.

"They're too big, Master. The ground troopers will have to take them out." Anakin yells out to Obi-Wan.

As we approach, it is clear that we weren't the only ones who thought of taking down the ships. Several massive walkers from the new, Republic Army are using massive laser cannons to blast rays at the ship.

Our gunship speeds closer to the Federation Starship. For a moment, I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. It looks as though the Federation Starship is falling back down to the ground. In fact, the more I focus, the more I realize that my assumption is correct. The ship _is_ falling to the ground. The cannons were able to obliterate the control rooms, rendering the ship powerless, sinking with great force back into it's docking port.

It crashes to the ground with enough force that seems to shake the entire planet. A massive dust cloud forms from its ruins and takes over the battlefield.

The battle below rages on still and things are beginning to look messy. The dust is making it harder and harder to see anything. Eventually, our ship is completely surrounded in a thick, dense dust cloud.

Standing at open ends of the gunship, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and I try to see any activity from the battle below. Two clones that stand with us duck down to the floor of the gunship and begin to fire rapidly, their guns pointing down at the battlefield. I suppose their helmets allow them to see the battle and filter out the dust that has blocked our vision.

I feel our gunship begin to slow down. It circles a droid gun-emplacement. Our rockets blast it to oblivion, but then we are rocked by a near miss of a cannon blast. Our ship lurches violently, and I get a view at the ground below, now that the dust cloud has begun to dissipate.

The scene is unlike anything I've ever seen. The battle of Naboo ten years ago was nothing compared to this Battle of Geonosis. Thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of troopers are running throughout a mass expanse of land, firing at droids who take up just as much space on the battlefield. More forces continue to join the battle on both sides. Republic walkers use their massive, long-range missiles to destroy the variety of walkers and rolling droids that make up the Separatists' Droid Army. Rockets and missiles twist and twirl in the air. Casualties fall on all sides, and lasers continue to fire at opponents furiously.

"Look! Over there…" Obi-Wan shouts suddenly. I turn to the other side of the gunship and see a small, Geonosian Speeder race past, high above the battleground. In the open cockpit, I make out the unmistakable figure of Count Dooku.

"It's Dooku! Shoot him down!" Anakin yells up to the pilot in the cockpit of our gunship.

"We're out of rockets, sir," the pilot yells back.

Even if we had the firepower to shoot at him now, we would never be able to, lawfully. He is unarmed and attacking him now would be completely out of ordinance, regardless of how badly we want him killed or how guilty he is of treason and other crimes.

"Well, follow him!" Anakin commands.

But it's not that simple. Even Anakin knows that, which explains why he sounds so frustrated and impulsive when he says it. We can't take Dooku alone. He's obviously flying off to an area with higher security and more forces. Our small gunship alone, and the few of us on it, will pose no threat compared to whereever he is headed.

"We're going to need some help." I retort.

"No, there isn't time." I hear Obi-Wan say to me. "Anakin and I will handle this."

It's a typical statement from a Jedi. Their mentality is that only Jedi can take down a Sith Jedi. But does he not think there will be more forces where Dooku is headed? Does he not think for a moment that while we may be following Dooku, we are simultaneously being led straight into another trap?

My suspicions are proved right when the two fighters that fly alongside Dooku's Speeder break off from his sides and fall back. They veer off left and right, loop around, and come back up behind our gunship.

We head into more remote terrain now. There is no battle out in this desolate area. Large, mountainous sand dunes rise and fall under the hot, orange sun like a typical, desert environment.

To avoid beak-wing fire, the gunship banks up one of the many steep sand dunes. However, this doesn't allow us to avoid being hit. For the first time, a missile hits the back of our ship.

It lurches to its side and I lose my grip on the cords above. I see Anakin reach out and try to grab me before I tumble, but it is too late and he's too far away to grab me.

"Whoooaaaa!" I scream desperately, as I feel my body fly back, floating in midair and suddenly everything slows down.

A clone trooper to my left tumbles out of the gunship after me.

I see the evening, orange sky and I feel my body falling through the air, down to the sand, the sky backing away from me. I see a number of faces watching me fall. The last thing I see is Anakin's face, filled with terror, hanging out of the gunship watching me fall. I hear him yell "PADME!" as the gunship speeds away and I hit the ground hard, rolling down a mountainous dune of sand, slipping out of conciseness.


	34. Part 4: Padme's Determination

VII

* * *

Eyes closed, I feel my body twitch. I don't know how long I've been unconscious. But now I've woken up and expect to open my eyes and see my bedroom in the Naboo Lake Retreat. I feel as if I've had the most horrific dream.

I open my eyes and, to my dismay, see towering dunes of warm, smooth sand on all sides of me. I search my memory to understand what is going on around me.

I am a Senator. I am fighting with the Republic. Many Jedi have died trying to save Anakin, Obi-Wan, and me from the execution arena where we should have perished. There is a clone army that the Republic is using to fight off the Separatists' Droid Army. Nute Gunray and Count Dooku have plotted my demise. They were behind the assassination attempts that had killed my handmaiden, Dorme, on Coruscant, now, so long ago.

I life my head up off the ground, a small ringing is in the depths of my eardrums.

I hear footsteps crunch through the sand and run towards me.

"Senator," the voice of the clone trooper calls as he approaches my body, still motionless in the sand.

"Are you all right?" He asks me, dropping to his knees and extending a hand to help me stand up.

"I think so," I reply, brushing the sand off my white pants. The effort is useless; they're dirty and stained from the arena sand anyway. I feel throbbing pain shoot through my back. The nexu's slashes across my back are aching with the burn of the hot, irritating sand.

"We better get back to the Forward Command Center." He says to me, ready to turn and head off.

I stop him before he moves.

"No, no. Gather up what troops you can. We've got to get to that hangar." I say to him, thinking only of Anakin's safety. "Get a transport. Hurry!"

"Right away!" He answers back to me.

We run off, through the hot, humid air, trudging tired steps through the heavy, desert sand, desperately in search of another gunship and more troopers.

_Hang on, Anakin. I'm coming. _I promise myself.


	35. Part 4: Rescuing the Jedi

VIII

* * *

It didn't take long for us to retrieve a gunship. In fact, one had been searching for us and found us rather quickly. Someone must have known we'd fallen. It's the only explanation for our salvation gunship. They must have been looking for us. They would not have been flying so slowly, so close to the ground in such remote territories for nothing. I feel tears come to my eyes. They are tears of gratitude. Someone has found us. I'll be able to get to my Anakin sooner than I expected.

On board, it is me and six or seven other clone troopers. We are headed straight for the hanger. No one is following us this time, and even though I've led the pilot in the right direction of the hanger, they still insist on using coordinates to locate it.

I grip the upper cables more tightly than ever. I continue to hold the blaster in my hand, as well. I am so focused on saving Anakin it hurts.

Our gunship pulls up to the landing platform that jets out of the hanger's entrance. I am the first one to spring out of the gunship. It barely comes to a stop before my feet reach the landing platform and I start towards the door.

Something stops me before I advance any further. A low rumbling grows louder and louder and in my ears. The clones hear it too. We freeze on the landing platform and I quickly turn to a small, circular hole in the stalagmite the hanger is built within.

From the small tube, a single, Sail Ship shoots out of and takes off, speeding out into the sky. I know it's Dooku. I know he's getting away.

Pointing my blaster at it, I fire over and over, determined to hit it somewhere—anywhere.

The clones around me all point their guns and shoot as well, but it is useless. He is too far, gone and out of reach. Dooku has gotten away.

With nothing left to fire at, I turn and sprint towards the entrance to the hanger. Once inside, my eyes adjust to the darkness and I scan the dark room where metal and cavernous rocks have united to form walls and structure within the environment. I see some rubble and a fallen tower.

Master Yoda picks up his cane and stands in the center of the room looking defeated and out of breath. The clones stand at the entrance of the room, weapons pointed at the ready, guarding us while we are inside. Once I see Anakin, being helped to his feet by Obi-Wan, I rush over to him.

"Anakin…" I say softly, throwing my arms around him and holding him closely. I do not care whose eyes are on us right now. I just need to hold him, my Jedi protector, and my lover.

I look him up and down. Sweat is rolling off of his forehead and he looks pained. Then I see why: his right arm has been cut off from just above the elbow. The wound is nothing but a clean, singed end to his half-arm.

I hold him close and realize where we are and what we've been through; my bloody scratches across my back and his missing arm are two results of the outbreak of war. I can feel my now messed-up, frayed strands of hair tickling the side of my face. Anakn and I look into each other's eyes and breathe a sigh of relief that we're both safe. It's over, for now.

I lead him off to safety, following behind Obi-Wan and Master Yoda who leave the room in silence. Seeing our two, battle-scorn bodies standing together, I already know what I want to do—have to do—next.


	36. Part 4: Padme's Ruminations

IX

* * *

It's over. It's all over.

Anakin, Obi-Wan, Master Yoda, myself and the few clones troopers board the gunship at once, which takes us back across the desert land and toward one of the immense Republic Starships. I sit in the gunship, feeling both tired and worn, next to Anakin and across from Obi-Wan and Master Yoda. No one says anything. The ride is eerily silent.

I narrow my weary eyes and keep my stare fixed on the desert ground below. If I had thought my last glimpse of the ground of the execution arena was a graphic reminder of the casualties and loss of battle, it cannot even compare with how severe and tragic this massive stretch of land that was once a battlefield appears. I have trouble believing it's real. I almost hope my eyes are playing tricks on me and are making this scene more horrible than it really is.

I move just my eyes to look at Obi-Wan and can see the hurt and horror written in his expressionless face. As an experienced Jedi, he obviously hides his emotions and troubling thoughts well. However, the look in his eyes is unmistakable.

Something about looking into Obi-Wans eyes hits me very deep, emotionally. I cannot explain it, but it's as though I could watch hundreds of people cry and feel sympathy, but give no reaction. Yet something as simple as Obi-Wans hurt, pained eyes makes me want to weep uncontrollably. I feel the tears come to my eyes. They burn, and I try harder than ever to suppress them.

Groups of clones continue to march across the land that was just moments ago a massive field of crisscrossing missiles. They are no longer fighting anything, but they are checking fallen troopers to confirm their deaths, and to discover any possible survivors. There is also the quick glimpse of a vengeful kick to the disabled droid for mere amusement. It is a moment that must somehow be an outlet of revenge or hatred from these artificial human soldiers.

The empty battlefield is almost as eerie as the silence in our gunship. Despite the few clones that wander below, or the occasional gunship that can be seen flying off in the distance, there is nothing but this ominous graveyard of droid parts and weaponry. Strangely, it feels as though this battle could have happened dozens of years ago, and no one disturbed the remains. It makes me wonder what the rest of the battles the war will bring may look like once they are finished. Will this wretched war come to Naboo? Will my beautiful city of Theed someday look like this—a scattered graveyard of disembodied droids, broken walkers, and slaughtered soldiers? Will Coruscant, Capitol of the Republic, someday fall to ruins and look just like this?

The thought does not bother me as much as I'd expect it to. Instead, it makes me wonder what we really are fighting for. I said before I don't feel regret for our clone army. I feel grateful. They saved my life. I know we would be hopeless without them. We would've surely died, and the Republic would already be at the mercy of the Separatists immense droid army. However, I still cannot change my political views completely when I look out and think of what this war will bring. There will obviously be deaths. There will obviously be destruction. But I neither support nor condemn the fighting anymore.

I've taken an extremely complicated position on this matter. I know I should be fighting against the war. And there are countless Senators on Coruscant who will be counting on me to reinforce that position, especially now. But it's deeper than that. It's always been deeper than that, I feel.

Plus, there's the whole emotional involvement I have to face now. Gunray and Dooku personally wanted me dead. They thought they had me. Now that they have no reason to hide or keep quiet anymore, they will surely come after me with full, brutal force. Not only does this put me in more, increased danger, but they may also go after my family and loved ones as well. They will need protection. I will need protection, still. Just when I thought this situation couldn't be more complex…

Our gunship finally arrives at a designated Starfighter. I feel the ship dip down and dive toward the ground. I grip the side of Anakin's arm for balance and security, but also for some comfort. We exchange glances for a moment, and I know he sees the tears I'm fighting to suppress. However, we quickly look away from each other. He knows I need him. But we cannot allow the others to see us acting in any way that is not strictly professional. It's a crude practice, but I suppose I should get used to this.

"Are you alright, Senator?" A medical droid in the medical center asks me when it's finished treating the claw slashes across my back. The applied ointment stings a bit, but it's a good kind of sting—I feel the treatment already healing my wounds.

"Yes, thank you. That feels so much better." I say as I close my eyes and let the relief soak in. I rest my head on the face cushion and I feel myself almost drift off to sleep at once. It's been so long since I've rested. It's been so long since I've had a night's sleep without worry.

Several hours later, I wake up, feeling well rested and free of pain. I realize we are deep in space at this point, probably headed back to the Capitol. I change out of my dirty, torn jumpsuit and dress in a simple, thick dress that's sitting on the chair next to me. It's just as white as my previous outfit was back when I initially tried it on. They give me another heavy blue cloak to wrap myself with while I'm recuperating.

When I feel like I am well enough to leave the confines of my room, I wander the halls of the massive warship in search for Obi-Wan or Anakin. An entourage of troopers lead me over to a small military briefing session where I see Obi-Wan concentrating hard on the conversation.

As soon as he sees me, me motions to end the congregation, and many of the troopers dissipate, but he remains, standing with Master Yoda and several other Jedi, as well as a hologram of the Chancellor.

"Senator, it's a pleasure to see you alive and well." The hologram greets me with his aged, courteous smile.

"Thank you, Chancellor. I take it you have things under control in the Senate while I've been away?" I ask kindly, but everyone knows I'm extremely serious when I ask it.

"To the best of my abilities, Senator. However I must admit, your absence in the Senate has been both noticeable and costly. Your hopeful return will be much anticipated." He replies.

I hope he's not saying all of these things just to be nice. My job has just become much more dangerous, and I can only hope he will respect that.

"That's a very interesting point, Chancellor. I appreciate your interest in my return, but I must warn you that I will hope for some more time away from the chaos for a while. I think it's best if I just keep quiet for a little." I suggest to him.

"I cannot argue with you, M'Lady. After all, you have been through quite a lot recently." He adds, smiling still.

"What are you planning to do, if I may ask, Senator?" Obi-Wan asks me. I know it is not a personal question. His tone suggests it as an inquiry of business.

"I was hoping to return to Naboo for a while. I'm sure my family will be most anxious to see me safe immediately. I would like to keep them company for a while—assure them that I am OK and able to return to work. Plus, I have a few last minute affairs I would like to take care of before I do return to the Senate." I tell the group.

"Need rest, you do, Senator. A break, do you well, it should." Master Yoda says to me with a look of comfort.

I welcome his kindness, and I'm glad to see that everyone understands and respects my concern to not immediately return to the Senate.

"Would it be at all possible for Padawan Skywalker to return to Naboo with me? For security purposes, of course. He is still my Jedi protector, after all." I say to Obi-Wan, hoping he simply goes along with my request and avoids questioning it.

"Of course. There will be a small window of time for him now while he is recuperating from his injuries where he can accompany you. Of course, eventually his services will be needed again, but for now, he can surely return with you to Naboo." The Chancellor answers for Obi-Wan.

This is surprising, coming from Chancellor Palpatine. Obi-Wan does not object, however I cannot help but notice the wave of concern that passes over both his and Master Yoda's faces. Still, to my pleasure, they confirm that Anakin will be able to come with me to Naboo.

"He is your personal security, M'Lady. I'll tell him at once that he will go with you to Naboo to ensure your safety." Obi-Wan says to me, and takes off down a corridor, his dark robe billowing in his strides.

Finally, it sinks in that I will have a temporary moment to live. For once, it will be just like our brief time on Naboo, where Anakin and I had just each other, and nothing to trouble us or interrupt our lives. I understand that eventually, I will need to return to Coruscant. Eventually, I will need to go back to the Senate, debate amendments and acts that will be brought up as reactions to blows from the war. I understand that we both will have duties to return to. But for now, I have nothing. I have just Naboo, Anakin, and time to live my life.


	37. A Personal Letter to the Reader

Dear Reader,

Thank you.

I would like to extend a very grateful and personal thank you to you, the reader for taking this journey with me and following Padme from beginning to end. There is no greater gift for a writer than to have their work be read. The very fact that you have not only read it, but stuck with it, and enjoyed it make me happier than words can express. Writing this has been both a pleasure and an escape for me. It came very quickly and was very immediate. Padme's story is so well loved and inspiring. I was so enthusiastic about sharing it with everyone, and I've never been more happy about that decision. I am truly thankful to have been able to share this with you, and hope you've enjoyed the ride as much as I have.

Thank you.

I present to you, the final chapter of "Across the Stars: A Senator's Tale of Love and War."


	38. Part 5: Secret Vows

Part 5: Naboo

* * *

_I was Queen then,_

_When I stopped my planet's oppression._

_Love is beautiful, _

_But falling in Love is complicated._

_I've seen Revenge before my eyes._

_Hate. Anger. Suffering._

_Someone will die._

_This is the outbreak of War._

_This is how two, star-crossed lovers fought for their love._

* * *

I stand in a rose-covered arbor, overlooking the sparkling lake as the sun begins to set on the Naboo Lake Retreat. Dressed in a white gown made entirely of intricately woven lace, I stand with a veil on my head, looking into the deep, romantic eyes of Anakin Skywalker.

I had never given marriage much thought, but throughout my childhood, whenever I pictured myself getting married, I can promise that I expected a large ceremony and lavish decorations in a beautiful location where my family, friends, and fellow colleagues would look on me with happiness and sparkles of tears in their eyes. Never had I pictured it to take place on the terrace of an isolated island, with only a pair of droids watching on as witnesses to the Holy Man's blessings. Never had I pictured myself marrying a Jedi I had known for years. Never had I imagined us being wed in secrecy, as millions of troopers were being deployed to various systems across the galaxy to fight this new war.

Regardless of circumstance, I realize that I am here, with him, and nothing else matters. I could not imagine a more perfect place to marry Anakin than here, on the terrace of the Lake Retreat, where we shared our first kiss, and our love for each other began to blossom. It was here where I discovered my true feelings for Anakin. It was here where I had first felt his lips upon mine. It was here where I shared laughter, tears, and many other emotions, all for him.

The roses in the gardens below are dying. They have seen their prime and the petals begin to gently fall off and blow in the breeze across the lake. The air smells of the roses and tastes of the lake's fresh saltwater.

As we exchange our vows, we look at each other with very serious, almost sad eyes. It makes me wonder if we are doing the right thing. It makes me wonder if it's worth risking everything, just to give in to our love, especially now that the stakes and dangers are heightened with the course of the war. But even now, it is too late to go back. It's too late to back away as I did before and hide behind my occupation, using it as an excuse to hide from love. We agreed on Geonosis that we would love each other until death. These vows only solidify that.

Anakin smiles at me as the Holy Man blesses us and walks away, leaving us alone on the terrace. I smile back at him, brushing these doubtful thoughts out of my mind.

We take each other's hands. He hesitates for a moment, but then I place my hand into his new, robotic imitation hand.

I notice his smile fades too. Is he sensing the troubling future that awaits us, now that we've given in to our love? Was I seeing his own uncertainty as I look into his deep, darkening eyes?

Not so long ago, I thought our love would destroy us. But something happened to me on Geonosis. Something happened to both of us when we were taken prisoner, placed in the confines of those cells and given time to think. Something happened when we were told we were going to die. We realized that there is not much left for us to lose. And as much as doing this would supposedly destroy us, not doing this would hurt even worse. We'll make it work. It has to work. Somehow.

Once he bends down, and his lips meet mine, my doubts leave my head completely, and there is nothing for me to think about but Anakin, the sunset, and the sound of our love theme blazing through my ears.

Our kiss lasts for a long time. I don't want it to end, but eventually, it does and Anakin and I take a long time to look into each other's eyes. Beyond the lake, the setting, pink and orange sun is reflecting in the gently rippling water. Fog covers the tops of the green, lush mountains.

Looking into each other's eyes, I know it's worth it. It's worth risking everything. It's worth it as we turn and look at the lake, the setting sun dipping down to the horizon. It's worth it, as petals fly off the dying rose bushes and into the air with the gentle, evening breeze. It's worth it, as I look across the lake, tears in my eyes, focusing on the symphony of the two, forbidden lovers, giving in to their emotions and defying the rules of the galaxy.

I had worried about my career all this time. I had worried that I had no time for love, and that I had planets to save, nations to build up. Yet all along, those things seemed to just be accessories, and cover-ups to the things I truly wanted in life—to love and to be loved in return. It wasn't enough that I had proved myself a competent ruler, an intelligent politician. I didn't need the people of Naboo to love me, anymore. All I wanted was Anakin. And it wasn't until I realized that I had to be robbed of everything but him, when I truly realized that he was the glimmer of hope that kept me fighting for my life. He was the reason I placed the wire in my mouth and fought for my future, not the people of Naboo. Had the people of Naboo been my concern, I would have died a martyr for peace, a symbol for people to rise up and avenge my death. So, without him, I would never have fought against the nexu. Without his love, I would have had nothing to live for. It doesn't matter that our marriage is in secrecy. It doesn't matter that we still have our jobs and duties to attend to. I will return to the Senate. He will return to the Jedi temple and be sent off to fight in the war. But knowing we have our undying, eternal love will be enough to keep us fighting through the war, and give us a reason to live, just as it got us through the Battle of Geonosis. I know it would destroy us to do this, but to not do this would hurt even worse.

I hold my husband's hand in mine, thinking of how our love will be affected by the war. I have no regrets. I feel obligated to marry him. It was the only thing I wanted when I thought I was seconds from death. Given another chance at life, a life with Anakin, how could I come back to Naboo with him and not become his wife?

Tears form in my eyes and run down my cheeks. _We'll make it work. I know we will._ I think to myself as the symphony of our love booms though my ears so loud, so passionately, that it could probably be heard from across the stars.

End.


End file.
